DEFINITIONS, CHRISTMAS AND NEW MEMORIES

One of the things most all of us do while growing up is learn how to deal with peer pressure.

But is this just something we cope with in our early years?

Not a chance.

By definition, 'peer pressure' refers to the influence exerted by a peer group in encouraging a person to change his/her attitudes, values or behavior in order to conform to group norms.

So...note the name of this blog. NEW KIND of Normal.

Get used to it. Because this is my life.

We all have our way of doing things. Thankfully, I have come to terms and peace with that little factoid of life. Unsolicited advice and opinions of others no longer sting as much as they used to.

I haven't been dealt a 'normal' deck of cards folks (who has?!), so I've decided to make the best of the cards in my hands right now. Lemonade out of lemons, as Ang says.

This Christmas, I really wanted to be happy and just have a peaceful home so my kids and I could have a calm Christmas and really celebrate it with the Spirit by which it's really intended.  God so graciously blessed me with them and my prayer is always for Him to help me make the best decisions concerning them. As well as for me to have the best attitude so they grow up happy and loved.

I know I'm not a perfect mom. In fact, I'm confident there's no such thing. Just as I do things differently, so do you. I think we can agree on that.

That being said, I'm sure this picture will blow some out of the water. I've actually started to love the shock-value my life sometimes brings to others. I do have to admit I'm still taken back at the things people actually feel comfortable asking me. I don't ask people such personal things! Let's put it this way...if you haven't told me, I assume it's none of my business.

Everyone has some kind of business happening inside the walls of their own homes, believe it or not. If you don't think you do...you're wrong. Burying your nose in someone elses personal business is never a good thing.

Think a friend has something going on and you want to help? Pray. It's just that easy. Don't know exactly what to pray about or for? That's okay...HE knows. Believe me.

I have learned you can plan and plan and plan the way you expect your life should all play out. However, every once and awhile we get thrown curve balls. You can either learn to hit the curve balls or you can go back to the bench and pout.

As for me, I'm practicing on knocking those suckers out of the park.

Knowing all too well just as soon as I get used to hitting curve balls, I'll be tossed a knuckle ball or a slider. No problem...I'll learn how to hit those, too.

I hope and pray my kids learn how to do that also. You choose your attitude and the attitude you carry around makes a huge difference in the decisions you make in life. Make as good of choices as you can at the given time and whatever you do...don't do anything you know will purposefully hurt someone else. Again...simple. And if someone judges you for taking a path they wouldn't have taken, remember that's why God made us different. Oftentimes, there is more than one 'right' choice. Only you know all the facts concerning your options. Just make sure you weigh them all thoughtfully and prayerfully.

Here's to a Merry Christmas in 2011, that beat the heck out of my Christmas last year. No one should ever be alone on Christmas. Ever. I'm so thankful for those who support me and my kids and our New Kind of Normal life. It's both surprised me who has, as well as who hasn't been supportive. Careful...you never know when YOU may be thrown a curve ball.

And yes, Shelby is the one behind the camera as the photo was her idea. :) Good job, Belle. You make me proud.

Always remember and never forget: Judging someone doesn't define who they are...but it certainly defines who YOU are.

TAKE ME AWAY...SWEET ESCAPE

And maybe a happy ending doesn't include another person. Maybe it's just you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself for something better in the future.

Maybe the happy ending is just moving on.

PAUSE

If only I could. The photo below presents one of many reasons I wish life would slow down.

The days rush by. The nights aren't near long enough. The little nothing-everything moments aren't lost on me.

The young man in the other room laughing soothes my heart like nothing I've ever known. The little, blonde who just fell asleep in my lap makes me not want to move, in hopes that alone will trick time into thinking I found a loophole.

But I didn't. And I won't. So I take a ridiculous amount of pictures and have my iCloud account constantly reprimanding me of my space limits.

And I write. So they know I cherished every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year of their lives. And mine.

Stationery card

Noel Script Christmas Card

Turn family photos into personalized Christmas cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

POTENTIAL REALIZED

What is it going to take for you to realize your potential and make it reality? Sometimes you have to lose some friendships, lose your home, lose your job, break down emotionally, lose that man/woman and even walk away from some family before you recognize the potential God placed in you but YOU CAN DO IT!

TURN YOUR POTENTIAL INTO REALITY.


 Always remember and never forget: I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. Php. 4:13

PROMISES. CHOICES. FAITH.

What's your priority? Do you have one? Now...is it really your priority or do you just know it *should* be your priority? The way you live your life tells the truth about it. You can say what you want and try and market your life the way you want it to be. But the things you do, the things you say, the people you surround yourself with, how you treat others...it's all a neon light focused squarely on the truth.

I heard this song (see bottom) for the first time today. Yes, it's probably been out awhile considering the soundtrack. No, I'm not always at the top of the list as far as knowledge on what's new and what's not. But I mean c'mon...I work about 10 hours a day, as well as transporting two kids here-and-there, do consulting work also, homework, shopping, housework...etc! Blah blah blah...single mom stuff! It's what it is and it's actually quite grand, albeit busy.
What I can tell you is this song reminded me of the fact I may not have known where I was going in the past, but I'm pretty sure I've ended up where I'm supposed to be.

A couple years ago, I made what probably seems to most a strange declaration. "I've changed". True prayer and faith can do that (come to find out). I wanted to be happy. I wanted my kids to be happy and have all they deserved. I felt it happen. I physically felt it. Excited with my new-found outlook on what life could be, I shared this amazing feeling and...I dealt with doubters. Because I mean c'mon..who really changes who they want to be in life that quickly?

Answer: Only those who desperately and honestly want it.

I want to be self-sufficient. Entirely. I know the financial part of that goal won't happen over night, but I AM proud of the ground-work I'm laying. Brick-by-brick. I am proud of the intruders I've been able to keep out of mine and the kids' lives who do not have the same intentions of love and faith. I'm thankful to the people who have helped me along that path. I'm not looking to have an endless supply of dollars in the bank. What I am looking to have is an endless supply of people around me and my kids who love us unconditionally. Purely. Completely. Unquestionably. Honestly. Always honestly. There are no versions of honesty. And I have absolutely no respect for those who don't live by that rule. It's cowardice.

I've been on this road for a long time. I just didn't know it until a couple years ago. It all comes down to the core of what you believe and the courage (I'm talking the kind it takes to make the tough calls and put others...especially your children...before yourself) to do-what's-right. Period. No excuses. Not many people at all do that these days. They make arguments for what they have coming to them versus lowering their shoulders and doing what it takes. Everyone is different. I just know I've got two little beings watching every move I make.

PRIORITIES. FAITH.

I'm headed toward 100% because that's where I (and two kids) need to me to be. It's where I want to be and I made that choice. Yes...CHOICE.

It is so true what they say about when your kids are born. How you can't imagine loving something so completely at first glance. Ben and Shelby...I can't believe it's possible, but I love you more every, single day and will do absolutely anything and everything to give you a happy life. I probably won't be able to promise you an easy life, but I'll do my best to give you the tools to deal with the valleys. If anyone ever tells you life should be easy, laugh in their face. It will not be easy.

It will be worth it. Every. Bit. Of. It.

TODAY

The woman I am today is not the woman that I always was. I've been molded by difficulty, shaped by loss, broken by bad financial decisions, been forced to grow up by heartbreak, learned acceptance through grief, made stronger through betrayal, learned how to love self when self was all I had to depend on and most important of all I have learned that when you hit rock bottom, faith in God's promises will never fail to save you. So if you are not yet the person you aspire to be, there is hope. Let faith activate that hope today. Never give up on yourself or someone you love. There is a power within us that if used will turn our lives around if we allow it to.

 ~~Val Rose

ANY GIVEN DAY

Sometimes it takes a whole lot. And other times, all it really seems to take is...


> My youngest, who used to cutely mispronounce all kinds of words (including merote vs. remote), totally make me laugh and accidentally call it Monica instead of Hanukkah.

> My very, structured, precise oldest, who almost steps all over himself to obey his mom and not correct his sister when she mispronounces something, turn and say, "It's Hanukkah! NOT Monica! Really? Sorry mom...couldn't let that one go."

> A friend who knows you well enough to say, "Hands off the steering wheel friend...this one's out of your control. Time to move on."

> Someone who cares enough about you to come over, ignore you when you say, "I can do it", look you square in the eye and reply, "Listen...I know you aren't used to being the one to be taken care of, but sit down and let me help you feel better. Now." Impressive. Appreciated.

> Having that same someone go to the trouble to whip up some homemade German concoction you've never heard of called Gluhvein because it cures everything.

> My sweet boy hugging me after a long Saturday and telling me I'm "the best mom ever" and "I had a super, great time with you today".

> My little girl hugging my neck after same said long day and saying, "I just want to go home now, mommy. Snuggling with you is my favorite thing."

> Sitting out on my veranda enjoying a breeze and quiet time with a sweet tea in my hand. Then looking over at Ben and having him say, "Ahhhhh...this is the life.".

> Someone telling you, "You're even beautiful when you're sick". Awwwwwwe...so sweet.

> While cleaning debris out of the horses pastures, the kids are told whoever gets the most wins a prize. Ben yells, "Do dead rabbits count for extra points?!" and he wasn't kidding.

> A horse I've totally fallen head-over-heels for, hears me call him from completely across the field and literally leaps into a full-throttle gallop to get over to me. Ugh...one of God's most beautiful creatures!

> Being at total peace with the path God's carefully and thoughtfully paved in front of me. I'm grateful for the lessons He's firmly ingrained in my heart and head regarding the well-being of my kids and their future. I know without a doubt they are my priority 24/7, 365 days a year and nothing will ever change that.

> Going back to an "old" website, then looking over the new one I helped create. So thankful God blessed me with a little talent here and there so I can earn a living.

> Glancing to the left of my computer at a stack of birthday cards sent to me by people I'm so thankful to have in my life. I've read them all numerous times.

> Finding a gift card I forgot about and of all the places it could be to, it's to the place I need most right now...a massage!

> Knowing I did the right thing. Regardless of the result.


And sometimes. Well, sometimes all it takes is fitting into your skinny jeans.


Always remember and never forget: The most beautiful memories aren't specific dates on a calendar. It's the every little moment-by-moment things that matter.

SOMETHING TO KEEP REMINDING OURSELVES

The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and about a million ways to be a good one.

~Jill Churchill

MY KINDA FRIENDSHIP

Yes...I know I actually need to write something since I haven't in...well, awhile. And I do have some stuff to write up here in this very foggy, congested head of mine, but for now...I've gotta do the ole "copy and paste" of an email a friend sent to me today. LOVE. IT.

Friendship ~ None of that Sissy Shit

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

You will see no cute little smiley faces on this ~Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

When you are sad ~ I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

When you are blue ~ I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile ~ I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

When you are scared ~ I will rag on you about it every chance I get until you're NOT.

When you are worried~ I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

When you are confused ~ I will try to use only little words.

When you are sick ~Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

When you fall ~ I will laugh at your clumsy ass, but I'll help you up.

This is my oath .....I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask ~ because you are my friend.

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth. 

IF ONLY...

“If you’re going to love me, love me deeply.

 If you’re going to break my heart, then break it all.

 If you’re going to care, care for me completely.

 If you decide not to hold me, then just let me fall.

 If you’re going to stay, then stay forever

... and if you want to leave, then do it today.

 If you’re going to change, change for the better.

 And if you’re going to talk, please mean what you say.”

 ~ UNKNOWN

IT'S ALL HOW YOU LOOK (OR RATHER LISTEN) TO IT

It was just shared with me...out of the blue. It was meant to make me say, "Wow...what a beautiful song!".

Instead, I now have NO makeup left. At all. And the paranoia I felt before about getting the blood work results back, coupled with my over-active, hypochondriac, single-mom syndrome...I'm a complete ball of mush right now.

Quit laughing at me.

YOU listen to it. It's beautiful.


And CPJ's comment is even more beautiful...

Me: "Don't send me any more songs about dying!"

CPJ: "You listened to it wrong! It's not about dying...it's about living."


I'm such a freak sometimes. :-)

PRIORITIES

I've said it many times...I am hyper-sensitive to getting some strange disease that will take me away from my kids. I know that sounds so ridiculous to some (most?), but losing my mom at age 15 instilled that fear in me.

So after a month or so of having some "weird" kind of pains fairly regularly, I decided a trip to the doctor was in order. I'll just say she's quite possibly the best doctor I've ever had in my life. I can't recall one better than her.

She totally gets my "paranoia" regarding my irrational fears. While she was able to diagnose two things on the spot (ulcer and irritative bowel syndrome...thank you very much. How embarrassing.) she's still curious about some others, so an incredible amount of blood work was ordered. The sweet lab technician said, "Well after all this, you should be pretty confident at least about what you don't have!". True.

I recently got new health insurance that AT BEST is adequate. Makes me want to start lashing out at our country's economic status,the  responsibility it should have to 'it's own' and how people are still out there playing by their own rules, making those of us who play by THE rules suffer. They don't even consider what the fallout is. So we pay. And pay.

There are so many things I need to have done that are incredibly important and money is the obstacle. Once again. You'd think I may not be good at handling my finances. Not the case. You have a household, add it up. Now add two kids into it. Add payments due to entities I'm stuck paying each and every month. Add kids school stuff, clothes, food, friends' birthdays. Add medical bills that come along with three people. Like most recently, a kid with a staph infection and now my debacle. Add maintenance costs associated with a car bearing 90,000+ miles on it. It adds up...and then some. My stress and constant worry/talk about this particular subject is sound. I don't like it, but it's my one source of non-stop contention.

So I try and get creative. Do you offer payment plans? You need a copy of my last two months bank statements to prove I can make small monthly payments, but don't have enough to write one big check? Yeah...not a problem. Unfortunately, once again due to the economy, most don't want to accept payment plans from someone with my...well...financial resume and the recent scar it has on it that I can't remedy.

The things I want to do have taken a very far, deep, back seat to the things that I simply have to do. AKA...MY PRIORITIES. Things I've put off due to lack of money. Things I know darn, good and well I NEED to do. This medical junk will hopefully turn into something that I just need to make a lifestyle change regarding in order to move on. Then it will be kids' orthodontics, vision, etc... .

Vacations and even the simplist outings have become things of the past. On weeks I find I have an extra $40, I want to treat the kids. They don't complain. The "I Want" Syndrome has faded so much. Just taking them to a movie or something. What some consider an every day occurance, we now see as somewhat of a luxury of sorts. I've got to say though, my kids won't be any worse the wear because of it. They know they are loved, have a safe place to live, food in the pantry and clothes on their backs. It's not a house, or a walk-in pantry with gourmet food or designer clothes they wear...but it's what they have come to know as 'life'.

I have always found it so hard to put me 'in front' of my kids. Sounds horrible just reading back over it. So my doctor says to me, "It's getting to the point that if you don't carve out time for you, you won't be around to wish you had." Good point. I'll see what I can do on that.

I'm just going to have to look at it as not putting myself in front, per se...but putting myself right up there beside them. If I don't take care of myself, no one else will.

But if I don't ... I can think of two people who will certainly wish I would have.

I HAVE A VERY THOROUGH DOCTOR

Just in case you were wondering, this is what $6,300 worth of blood work looks like. No kidding.

KEEP YOUR ARMS AND FEET INSIDE THE RIDE AT ALL TIMES

I really don't recall a time in my life I've been this busy. It's a good kind of busy.

I told a friend the other day that even though it's crazy, I'm happy. To which he replied, "You know Terri, that's probably because this is the very, first time in your adult life you are only answering to you. If you make it or don't, it's all you. There's some pride to that." And he was right.

There's probably 20 times throughout the day I'd like to sit down and write about life. Things I think, "Oh...I need to document that for the kids" and it always ends up the same. One of my three (you heard me) phones rings. My computer alerts me an email is waiting for me to answer it in order for progress to keep moving forward. A kid comes in with a staph infection (really) that requires a trip to Acute Kids. Another one needs help with homework (still something I love doing...because one day all too soon that math is gonna be way over Momma's head). A hamster needs his cage cleaned or a fish needs a little attention (again...seriously). I live in a zoo.

I have to say...I do love where I am right now, even though I'm not really sure exactly where that is.

Almost one year ago, I sat in the office of an apartment complex committing to give a year of mine and my kids residence to this small space we now call 'home'. This week, I find myself in the same boat. Still a little lost. Still a little excited. Still very scared.

I have spent time talking with friends in similar boats as mine and it seems we all have something in common. "Single parenting" leaves you feeling as if you armor has somehow been penetrated beyond repair. Sleepless nights are spent going over things that can not be solved past the hour of 5:00 p.m. College funds. Medical bills. Growing spurts that require new clothes and shoes. Upcoming Christmas presents. Rent. Electricity. Bills. Bills. Bills. So why do I do it?

We're just trying to avoid another surprise attack, says AG.

That makes sense.

So if I prepare for the unexpected, I won't be so nearly taken off-guard when it happens this time. But what IS the unexpected this time? No way to tell. So why worry. Right? Yeah, but you're logical and I've got insomnia.

God has provided for us every step of the way...I know that. I just don't want Him to ever feel as if I'm not doing my fair share!

Another singledom pastime has become self-diagnosis. Even though I've been an expert at this for years. Especially while I was pregnant. Good grief...especially then. I need to remove www.webMD.com from my server (and the app from my iPhone).

Kim and I have diagnosed ourselves with everything from diverticulitis to some rare form of cancer. This form of diagnosis usually happens around midnight to one in the morning...you know...when we are really thinking clearly. All because I'm scared I will miss that little, nagging pain I've had in my right side as a muscle cramp when it was really something serious and had I gotten it looked at and caught early, I'd live 100 more years. Is it because I'm two years past my much-needed colonoscopy? (Yes, Ben and Shelby...you have to get these done!). Can you say, hypochondriac?! My guess it's because I'm way too out of shape for my own good.

So see why I haven't written much lately? I'm a certified busy, crazy-scheduled, never-goes-out, living-in-cramped-quarters (which I actually don't mind), putting-out-fires-everywhere and dodging-friendly-fire woman these days.

Welcome to my world. :-) C'mon in...it's not bad, just in fast-forward!

Now you will have to excuse me. I've got a little girl coughing in the next room like she's got seal stuck in her throat. It never stops people. It just transfers like a bunch of UFC tag-teamers. :-) And I'll take it... .

Always remember and never forget: Take a second to be nice or devise a plot to hate. Study or fail. Try something new or stay in a rut. Smile or pout. Dance or stand in the corner. Be honest or lie. Move past it or dwell on it. Live like it's a new day or stew about past events. Life is what you make of it. Make it what your heart wants. What you want your children to be. So when you do turn around and look, you can say..."I'm glad that was me".

JUST BECAUSE

Just because it made me laugh this Friday morning. :-)

IT'S JUST ME

I am nowhere near perfect.

I eat when I'm bored.

I don't exercise when I should.

I'm easily flattered, even though I don't like that trait.

I am vulnerable to believing lies.

I believe in forgiving people and oftentimes find myself in the position to request it for myself.

I see the best in people, even when I should pay more attention to their 'negatives'.

I love being around people, but I do not mind being alone.

I am hoping that one day I won't need a fake smile as often as I seem to lately.

I live by quotes that explain exactly what I am going through.

I don't make excuses, but also don't appreciate getting the third-degree about my personal life.

I respect the personal lives of others and don't question inconsistencies. Note the trend?

I have never hurt anyone on purpose, though goodness knows I've had cause to do so.

I need to learn to take up for myself better than I do.

I've lost people in my life by keeping my mouth shut to protect others feelings.

I have best friends ... and enemies too, I'm sure.

I love my kids more than I ever knew possible.

I'm scared every day that despite my best efforts, I'm somehow not doing what I should be with them.

I'm terrified I either won't remember everything I need to tell them or won't be around to tell them, so I write this blog.

I have drama, laughter and memories (and that's life).

Live it, love it..learn from it. Right?


That's the part I keep working on. Hopefully that's normal, though everyone else appears to be doing it seamlessly.


Always remember and never forget: He never promised it would be easy, He just promised it would be worth it.

WE NEED MORE MIRRORS AROUND HERE

We sometimes experience a little (and by little, I mean a LOT) of drama in this house.

Reasons vary.

Having to do homework. Being told to clean a room. Instructed there's only 30 minutes left until bedtime. Folding laundry (ahheeemmmmm...yes that's me).

It's expected. When you're young, sometimes emotions are worn on the sleeve. Especially when you've had a full day of scheduled activities and may be extra-tired. Those kind of things I understand. Really I do.

However, there's a certain someone in the house who is getting just a TAD dramatic when they don't get fed in time.


CARTER

 This is Carter. Our 3 (over that now, actually) year old Beta Fish. I have never seen such personality in a dadgum fish in my life. You know how a dog wags his tail when he's happy to see you? Well...Carter does that. Don't believe me? Feel free to stop by anytime and see for yourself.

Ask him, "Who's a pretty fish?" and he will gladly show you.

The last few months he's done this little floating ritual. Of course, at first I thought he was entering flush-status. Then I moved his bowl a little and he jumped to life. He's been doing this more and more lately.

Tonight I kept moving his bowl and he just kept up the floating to the point I thought, "Well...maybe it IS his time to enter that big bowl in the sky".

Then reminding myself just who he actually belongs to (that would be Shelby), I decided the drama may have just jumped another degree. So I concocted a test. I decided to see if he was really sick or maybe wanted some extra attention. I fed him.

And this is what he did...

HAPPY, FLAPPY FISH

I should've known. It's all about the attention around here.

LAUGHIN-AZ

From my friend, Sam. Girl...you crack me up!


To all the girls who are in a hurry to have a boyfriend or get married, a piece of Biblical advice: 

"Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz." While you are waiting on YOUR Boaz, don't settle for any of his relatives; Po-az, Lyin-az, Cheatin-az, Dumb-az, Drunk-az, Cheap-az, Lockedup-az, Goodfornothing-az, Lazy-az and especially his third cousin Beatinyo-az.
Wait on your Boaz and make sure he respects Yoaz... .

NOT YOUNGER...BETTER

Today, Kirstie Alley was on television talking about how much weight she's lost due to her stint on Dancing With the Stars (hello? When are you going to have Dancing With the Single Moms Who Need to Get in Shape?). I digress (shocking)...the interviewer asked her if she had any plans for plastic surgery now.

Her answer?

"People get plastic surgery to look younger...", and while I know she said something after that, I did NOT hear it.

The plastic surgery I've always wanted has nothing to do with looking younger.

Do I want plastic surgery? Ummmmmmmm...YES.

Do I want to look younger? Not necessarily.

I want to look better.

In fact, I want to know what in the heck is going on with this getting older business. If I'm going to break-out like I did when I was a teenager, is it too much to ask I have the energy, abs and arss I did when I was a teenager?

I'm just sayin'... .

So good for you Kirstie. But I've just about had it with with this getting older BS.

And while I'm at it...there's a Melatonin supplement out on the market. Has been for many years. Where in the world is the serotonin supplement?

My answer: The drug companies are hiding it because if they released it...gone would be the money consumers spend on Abilify, Effexor, Lexapro, Paxil and a whole slew of ones I didn't even recognized when I Googled "anti-depressants".

Please, someone give me a job so I quit obsessing on this stuff. :-)

TO TIP-TOE IN THE SUNLIGHT

Allow Your Own Inner Light to Guide You

There comes a time when you must stand alone.

You must feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own dreams.

You must be willing to make sacrifices.

You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities so that your final goal can be achieved.

Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged.

There are times when you must take a few extra chances and create your own realities.

Be strong enough to at least try to make your life better.

Be confident enough that you won't settle for a compromise just to get by.

Appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to grow, develop, and find your true sense of purpose in this life.

Don't stand in someone else's shadow when it's your sunlight that should lead the way.

LOOKING FOR THE 'EXCEPTIONAL' AMID THE 'NORMAL'

First the title caught me. Then the story did.

I've had amazing friends lend an ear, shoulder and more the past week and a half. Actually the past year and a half. And I promise I'm working...diligently...on getting back on track. Every time I think I make head-way, I end up getting a reality check as if to say, "Hang on...not yet. We aren't quite there."

So a huge thank you to those of you who are on my side, no matter what. You are apparent in who you are and you make me as comfortable as possible, being in what is an uncomfortable position for me. It gets old, this drama. Makes me want to crawl under a rock some days. I generally try and focus on the positive ("it could be worse" etc...) and that's still my M.O. But for the days I'm not all happy, positive, energetic and embarrassingly forgetful...thank you for understanding.

I'm looking very, very forward to the day where I am called on for support. Have no doubt...I WILL BE THERE.


Last Day of Normal
by Bob Perks

I could tell there was something wrong. He hadn't been the same the last few months. I just couldn't figure what it was.

"This is my last day of normal," he said to me. He had this half smile, half frightened look on his face. Unusual for my friend.

"You haven't been normal since I've known you, so I can't imagine why tomorrow would be any different," I said laughing.

He didn't respond. I knew then that this might be big.

I waited a few moments and then asked, "So, why will tomorrow be different?"

"I had some tests done recently. I was having problems with my thinking. You know, forgetting and stuff. I just thought it was a part of getting older," he said.
 
Then looking over the top of his glasses he said, "But this is more than forgetting where I put my keys."

"What kind of tests did you have?"

"Cognitive tests to test my memory and basic understanding."

"So, you're worried about the results?"

"Scared to death!" he said with big, broad expressions on his face. "I didn't do well in the tests."

"So, you're 'last day of normal' means that tomorrow things might be different?"

"Yes, today my life is the way it has been for as long as I can remem...," he stopped in the middle of the word.

"Remember," I added.

"Yes, remember."

"I won't get into 'every tomorrow is different,' or remind you that it may very well be different because it will be better, or happier, or simply a new direction for your life."

"Please don't do that inspirational stuff on me," he said.

"Nope. Not trying to. I just wanted to plant this seed in your brain. This will go one of two ways. Either there is a challenge or there isn't. If there is, I know you well enough that you will make it right, as right as it can be. If there isn't a problem, I want you to promise me that you will never be 'normal' again."

"What?"

"This may sound sick, but I believe we would all benefit from a life threatening moment, a near death experience. It is not until we come close enough to lose it that we really appreciate what we have. Sometimes, some people walk away from such events and go right back into 'normal' mode without any real appreciation for life. I want you to promise me that either way you will never see your life as normal again."

He was speechless.

"Do you hear me? I want you to live life bigger than ever, wider, stronger and fuller. That, by most people's standards is NOT normal."

He turned to me and said, "Will you join me?"

"Yes, I promise!"

He hugged me and said, "I'll never forget you, my friend."

So, if you are facing any new challenges in your life and fear that today may be your last day of normal, be grateful for it. Tomorrow will be your first day of "exceptional!"

© Bob Perks

BE THE BEST YOU

Do you ever change your opinions or viewpoints (I'm talking your 'out-loud' ones, not necessarily your core ones) while in the presence of someone you want to have more in common with? Or maybe you don't want to have to answer their questions about the reasons you believe whatever-it-is you believe?

I'm fairly certain we've all done this at some point or another in our lives.

Usually this is a harmless thing we do in order to just move past a conversation. But, there are other times this is done to try and form a bond. A bond you are anxious wouldn't be there unless you try to have more in common than really is the case.

I've noticed two things: The older we get, we either do this a whole lot less or a whole lot more.

For those who do it less, it's either because we've grown to not really give a flippity-flop about what others think or we've finally become confident in who we are. When we get questioned, our answers become simple. "Because". That's it. No diatribe. No over-analyzing of why. For most of us, a great deal has gone into the formulation of our opinions and viewpoints. How we were raised. Past events and experiences. Many things.

For those who do it more, it's either they are afraid to be alone or have grown less confident in who they have become. Even going to lengths to say, "Yes! Me too! I hate soft drinks also. Always have!" All the while knowing it was just last weekend they went through an entire twelve-pack of Mountain Dew. You know this person. They claim they've either always had this viewpoint or have "always thought the same thing...just never met anyone else who thought like me!"

Wow. The stars are aligning! It's fate! Wait...magic! No...neither. You've either become desperate or have lost all confidence to the point you think the other person won't give you a second look if you don't stop naming things you have in common. Even though you know, deep down, your desire to find common ground is what is grasping at anything even remotely similar.

Here's the truth...people actually appreciate you have differences. Intelligent and interesting people do anyway. GASP. Who would have imagined that!? The people who last the longest in our lives genuinely like us for who we are. Differences and all. In fact, the differences may just be what they think is interesting.

I do find it entertaining when I meet someone new and we have quirky things in common. However, I'm even more interested when they do things differently. Opens up my mind to new possibilities.

As for me, I am who I am. Like it or not.

I like to sleep-in on the weekends when I can. I watch (usually have to record) certain shows on television, like Food Network, Brothers and Sisters and whether it's cloudy or clear outside...I like The Weather Channel. I don't like wearing heels. I prefer jeans and a t-shirt. My hair is in a ponytail most days. I like creamer in my coffee and my Diet Dr Pepper in a cup, over ice and with a straw. I'm an aromatherapy freak. Candles, potpourri, whatever...I like things to smell good. I have a fetish regarding my feet...I can not stand for them to be rough. At all. And as particular as I am about that, I could care less if I ever have my toenails painted with a French pedicure. I prefer to purchase cheap purses over expensive ones. I'm just way too rough on them. Though I have a couple 'vintage' Coach's that were gifts and I do love them. I don't like being hot. I prefer the windows open with a cool breeze blowing. And I love plants. All kinds. Bring the green!

All this being said, if you believe or do the exact opposite of anything I've said above...I don't judge you or question you about it. It's none of my business. And it's also part of what makes you...you. And one of the many reasons I like you.

I hope Ben and Shelby know how important it is to be themselves. It's what makes great leaders. It's what makes a person solid. It's what makes the ground beneath you sturdy in the midst of chaos.

Always remember and never forget: You are the best you there ever was, or ever will be.

IT'S WHEN YOU HIT ROCK BOTTOM THAT YOU START LOOKING UP

It gives me chills thinking back on this.

A couple years ago, a day after a...we'll just call it...really bad day in my life, I climbed in my car to take my kids to school. I started the morning as I always had. Alarm went off. Crawled out of bed. Washed my eyes (being a long-time allergy sufferer, it's just what I do). Got my cup of coffee. Woke the kids up. Got them breakfast. Got them dressed. Then off we went.

On the way back home from dropping them off at school is when I allowed the emotions to come out. Then a song came on the radio I'd never heard before.

"Going Through the Motions" by Matthew West.

It floored me that it had come on when it did. It was literally describing the details of what my mind had been wrestling with. Come to find out, God had already been hard at work in my life...I just didn't know it yet.

Fast-forward to this past Friday.

On my way to work, I heard the following song. Once again by Matthew West. I had never heard it prior to this day.

Given how the events of the day were about to unfold, I should have recognized it as a prelude to God once again being hard at work in my life...and true to form, I just didn't know it yet.

Amazing.


Strong Enough by Matthew West

You must, You must think I’m strong
To give me what I’m going through
Well forgive me, forgive me if I’m wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I’m not strong enough to be
Everything that I’m supposed to be
I give up, I’m not strong enough
Hands of mercy won’t You cover me?
Lord, right now I’m asking You to be
Strong enough, strong enough
For the both of us

Well maybe, maybe that’s the point
To reach the point of giving up
‘Cause when I’m finally, finally at rock bottom
Well that’s when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I’m not strong enough to be
Everything that I’m supposed to be
I give up, I’m not strong enough
Hands of mercy won’t You cover me?
Lord, right now I’m asking You to be
Strong enough, strong enough
For the both of us

‘Cause I’m broken
Down to nothing
But I’m still holding on to the one thing
You are God
And You are strong when I am weak
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
And I don’t have to be strong enough
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
And I don’t have to be
Strong enough, strong enough
Oh yeah

I know I’m not strong enough to be
Everything that I’m supposed to be
I give up, I’m not strong enough
Hands of mercy won’t You cover me?
Lord, right now I’m asking You to be
Strong enough, strong enough
For the both of us

STATISTICS

"Can I Have Your Attention, Please?"

This was the name of the sermon this morning at church.

The pastor talked about things God does to get our attention and how sometimes, when we don't listen to His whispers or His taps on the shoulder, He eventually has to hit us square between the eyes with a two-by-four.

Friday morning I got a swift and very unexpected smack.

For once again in my life, I received an unwelcome invitation to become a part of yet another group in which I had absolutely no interest in joining.

This time: Unemployed.

With a simple email to less than a dozen employees stating only, "Meet me in the conference room in 5 minutes" we were told our positions no longer existed.

To make matters worse, this was an immediate departure and our benefits were to end at the end of that day.

No severance pay. No warning. Nothing.

We all sat in silence listening to the apologies. Then afterwards, we cried a little. Hugged. Swapped phone numbers and personal emails. Assured each other we would keep in touch and make sure and pass along any job leads that may apply to the other person.

But mostly we were shocked. I still am.

I immediately let some people know who I thought may be in a position to help me find a job. Contacted a friend who is in charge of Human Resources for the company she works for to look over the letter I was handed stating my being laid-off (I suppose for reasons of collecting unemployment) and if my benefits ending on that day was actually accurate (or legal).

On my drive home, I decided I'd give myself a little time before the kids got home to be upset. Because when they got home, I wanted to tell them what happened but also be able to assure them things were going to be fine. I don't believe in hiding every 'bad' thing from them, otherwise they'll never actually learn by watching someone handle obstacles presented before them.

So tomorrow starts yet another 'new-kind-of-normal' for me. After dropping the kids off at school, I'll return home to hit the ground running at a full-sprint to try and find a job as quickly as possible. I was really hoping my next job would allow me to do something I love. Something more closely related to my field. I'd hoped to have a little (okay, a lot) more time to search for something. Unfortunately, it's looking like I may have to take one of first things that comes my way in order to take care of business under this roof we call 'home'.

I'm forever grateful for the friend who unexpectedly showed up at my door Friday with a week's worth of groceries saying, "Here's one less thing you have to worry about right now". I embarrassingly cried, both out of gratitude and embarrassment. I absolutely despise being in a position of need, even though I'm sure by this time it's become part of my persona. And I hate that, too. I like being the one to help. I like being the one who 'comes to the rescue'. And truth be told, I haven't been able to do that, at least not in the sense of things like this, for a long time.

I'm thankful for the prayers I know the kids and I are receiving.

And I'm hopeful those prayers bring what I need most right now and what no one can help me with...a paycheck. Well, I guess one person can help with that, I just haven't met them yet.

My next employer.

Whoever said 'money doesn't solve problems' hasn't lived in my shoes. I can't think of one, single thing money wouldn't help with right now.

I'm hopeful I don't last long in this particular statistical category.

Trying to Always Remember and Never Forget: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6.

COURAGE MAY INVOLVE BEING SCARED, BUT YOU SADDLE UP ANYWAY

I am loving all these first week of school stories. They're always good, but this year the kids seem to be sharing more info. I remember all to well the days of picking them up after school, asking about their day and getting nothing more than, "It was good".

I'd ask open ended questions and inevitably...and whatever the question...get the all-encompassing answer of, "Nothing".

So, this year, I'm relishing in all the information.

Today, Shelby was telling me about all the new kids in school. One little girl in particular.

"She's really nice. Wears glasses. And she always wears a necklace with a cross on it, so I know we have things in common." Love that!

I asked what her name was and Shelby said, "I can't remember. But don't worry...it's my goal tomorrow to get her name and never forget it again. I want her to be my friend and for her to know people like her. I don't think I'd like being new."

I've been the 'new girl' in school before and it wasn't so bad. Of course I was in high school and did NOT want to move, but it ended up working out and I somehow survived it. :-)

I like meeting new people. More so now than I used to. I used to be a lot more self-conscious about it, but am learning to master the skill.

What I'm still not great at is letting people go who I know don't really belong in my life. Maybe we've grown apart. Maybe it's just not a healthy relationship any more. There are various reasons. The art of saying 'Goodbye" is one I haven't yet mastered. I guess some people know how to do it, but I doubt it's ever done flawlessly.

Someone always gets hurt.

But to think they won't survive is egotistical, at best.

And to continue on burying my head is living a lie. And God knows I've had enough lies for a couple lifetimes.

I never really thought of this as being a skill I'd need to teach the kids, but I sure wish someone had gone over it with me in my younger life. I've got to admit, Ben seems to have it down. Shelby is more like me. Thinks with her heart more than her head. Just like her momma. Sometimes that's good. But when faced with releasing someone from your life, even if they may not be interested in the relationship ending...that's where it had always been a problem for me.

And this is exactly where my heart and head have started working together. The reason I've decided that, uncomfortable or not, sometimes they have to figure out a way to sync. If for no other reason than not to delay the inevitable and cause even more hurt in the process.

The process of distancing oneself from a relationship isn't fun, but sometimes it's necessary in order to move forward in life to the next stage.

There's a whole list of adjectives I'm going to have to call on to be at their highest alert. Courage. Grace. Respect. Honest. And even love. Maybe mostly love.

Always remember and never forget: The toughest part of moving forward is not looking back.

SIZING UP TO BE A 'BIG' YEAR ALREADY

6th Grader and 3rd Grader...1st Day of School 2011!

Yesterday marked the kiddos first day of school this year. They were so anxious to get started, due in part to the fact they were pretty much tired of staring at the walls.

Ben started kindergarten at Boon Elementary the first year it opened, so his 6th grade class this year will be the first graduating class that started at the school. I have the exact same picture as below of him from Kindergarten that I'm still searching for!



Last year in front of the E.T. Boon sign for Ben.

 Funny enough, they all classify themselves as "middle schoolers" already since Allen is 'the only school district around' (their words) who doesn't promote 6th grade into middle school, but keeps them with the 'kids'.

Shelby started 3rd grade this year and this is the first time her class is upstairs...with 'the big kids'. And to top it off, they get a 1st grade class as their buddy class so she's feeling pretty big-girl herself.

In 6th grade, a few things change for them. They switch classes by subject and do so by groups versus their homeroom class. All in preparing them for the schedule that will await them next year in middle school. In addition, they choose an 'elective' this year (actually chose it at the end of last year for this year). They could take Choir, Band or Orchestra. Ben chose choir. Good choice. :-)

Which led to today's story...one of those proud-mom moments and had I not been working from home, I would have missed the 'guess what' enthusiasm that came with the story, if not the story altogether.

They walk in the door and after hearing a few things about their day, Ben tells me the following...


...and guess what else? On the way home there was a big branch on the trail and I had to run up ahead and move it.

    You ran up ahead of the people you walked home with?

Yes. Because some were on bikes and it was easier for me to just drop my scooter, run ahead and move it, then get back on and catch up.

    That was nice of you.

And also, I helped Laura (a girl in his class this year...name changed here, of course) carry her violin home.

    You did?

Of course. She was on her bike and it was hard for her to carry it, so I brought it home for her. It was just the right thing to do.

    Yes. Yes it was. Way to go, Ben.


It's gonna be an interesting year, indeed. :-)

OUR LIFE IS BUILT OF "FIRSTS"

This is quite possibly one of the sweetest things I've ever read. As our kids prepare to go back for another year of school, it makes me think of Ben and Shelby's first day of kindergarten. Yeah, yeah...brings a tear to my eye. And not just one tear.

So even though I didn't write it, I'll make sure Ben and Shelby hear what it says because it's all so very true. I didn't have to write it to totally believe it and pray for the same things for my kiddos. I love you two so much. ~Mom

An Open Letter to My Son on His First Day of Kindergarten

Dear Jake,

I’m writing you this letter because you still think I know something.  In fact, you think I know everything.  I would tell you that you’re mistaken, but you’ll come to that conclusion on your own in about 8-10 years.

At that point, you’ll think I know nothing.

Then I could tell you you’re mistaken too, but you’ll come to that conclusion on your own 8-10 years after that. 

At which time, you’ll know I’m just a guy.  A guy who happens to be your dad.  The one who occasionally gives you money but won’t let you move back into our house.  But while we’re still in that magical place where you see me as a superhero, pit crew chief, doctor, pastor, and professional athlete, allow me to share a few words of wisdom with you.  It’s important stuff, so pay attention.

No, I’m serious.

Put that down.

And get your finger out of your nose.

I mean it.

One… two… th-

OK.  That’s more like it.

Today is your first day of school.  Ever.  For a short time, your success will not be measured in grades.  Instead, you’ll know it’s been a good day when you come home exhausted, smelling of stale milk and kid sweat.  It’s a beautiful thing.  Enjoy it!

You’ll have some choices to make today.  First things first, you’ll want to make some friends.  My advice?  Choose carefully.  But don’t judge a book by its cover.  The kid in the corner eating Elmer’s glue is probably the kind of friend who would give you the shirt off his back, the best thing in his lunchbox, and would tell you when you were doing something stupid.   He also wouldn’t rat you out when you did it anyway.  That’s the kind of friend I hope you grow to be.

What about the kid who knows all of the cool new words for private parts?

He might be good for a few laughs.  He might even teach you how to put a mirror on your shoe so you can look up Amy Clifton’s skirt.  But beware.  He’ll also try to rope you into the mix when he gets caught stealing a pack of Now & Laters at the Itty Bitty.

Again.  Choose carefully.  I know the kind of guy you are.  You’ll know character when you see it.

While we’re on the subject, someday you and one of these new friends might decide it would be funny  to bake chocolate chip cookies and put Kibbles n Bits in some of them.  Then you’ll think it would be even funnier to play a joke and feed them to that weirdo in class who is always getting into trouble.

You’ll do it.  And the other kids will laugh.  Hard.  But the weirdo kid won’t.  He’ll play it off like it’s no big deal, but you’ll be able to tell by the way his smile doesn’t quite curl like it should that he’s crying inside.  You’ll feel so bad about it later that you’ll eat one of those dog food cookies.

And another.

Just to try and make it right.

But it won’t work. You’ll have to do something harder.  You’ll have to apologize in person.  Right to his face.  Tell him how horrible you were, and horrible you feel.  And he’ll still be crying, inside and out.  Because sometimes words can’t fix everything.

Trust me.  It’s better to never make the cookies in the first place.

And one day, I’m not sure when, some adult is going to tell you, “It’s better to give than to receive.”  Take this one to heart, because they are absolutely right.  But please note the following exceptions to the rule.  Sucker punches, atomic wedgies, and haircuts with safety scissors.  With these, you should avoid both the giving and the receiving.

Also note that you will be measured from this day forward.  We adults like to do that kind of thing.  Makes us feel smarter, I guess.  You’re a pretty sharp kid, so my guess is you’ll be put in the Red Robin Rockets reading group or something like that.  But remember, just ‘cuz you’re there doesn’t make you any better than all the kids in the Brown Barn Swallow reading group.  Trust me.  There are Brown Barn Swallow groups all over this world, and sooner or later you’ll belong to one of them.

As you’ve probably already learned, Ms. Pilkinton is the one who hands out smiley faces.  There are lots of Ms. Pilkintons in the world, too.  I recommend that you always go for the smiley face, Jake.  Not because Ms. Pilkinton likes it, but because it feels good to work hard and do the right thing.  If you do this enough, you’ll build up a strong muscle called integrity.  It’s right in the middle of your chest.  You’ll need this muscle for the times when some other person who doesn’t smell like roses and cake (like Ms. Pilkinton does) offers you a smiley face to treat someone else unfairly.  This is a tricky one, but you’ll know by then what’s a real smiley face, and what’s just a yellow circle with some dots and a curvy line.

And now for the most important thing of all.

Make mistakes.

Lots of ‘em.

But don’t make the same one twice.

You’ll learn more from your mistakes than you will during the 15,210 hours your little tush will be sitting in a classroom between now and your high school graduation.    That’s what they call “growing up.”

(And, in case you’re wondering, I used math to perform the “tush in seat” calculation. Did it the old-fashioned way.  Paper and pencil.)

Time to go now.  You woke up forty minutes before your alarm clock went off this morning, fueled by a love of learning and a burning desire to break in your new, monogrammed backpack.  I love how you get so excited about the little things in life.  They always seem to bring you the most satisfaction.  Paper airplanes.  Stomping puddles.  Lightning bugs.  One day you’ll forget how cool these things are.  And when that happens, I pray that God sends you a 48-pound savant filled with sage wisdom and corn syrup-laced snacks to remind you.

I love you, buddy,

Dad

(Taken from The Accidental Missionary blog)

SLEEP A LITTLE, WALK A LITTLE, PICK A LITTLE

For as long as I can remember, Ben has participated in the finely tuned skill of sleepwalking.

He actually used to have night terrors, as well. Couple those with the sleep walking and living in a two-story house and it made for one nervous momma. I remember putting the dog gate at the top of the stairs for a period of time to try and deter the possibility of him stumbling down the staircase.

Then, thankfully, he had his tonsils and adenoids out. The night terrors, as well as the nasty case of strep we couldn't rid him of, became a thing of the past.

But the sleepwalking and talking persists. And he *never* remembers it. Ever. You can carry on a conversation with him and he still won't recall it. Usually his words are pretty mumbled and he doesn't make much sense, but other times he will just talk and talk.

And it sometimes cracks me up. Take last night for example.

Around three this morning I awoke to something playing with my feet.

I look up and there's Ben and he's grabbing at my feet. Almost like he's picking flowers or the motion you would make while picking things up off the floor.

Ben...what are you doing??

Oh...I just have a few things to grab in here.

Ummmm, no you don't. Honey, you're sleeping. C'mon. Let's get you back to bed.
And then he stood straight up, drew his hands up in front of him and took off out my bedroom door like he was quickly tip-toeing down the hallway like was sneaking off.

I couldn't have been more than 4-5 seconds behind him, but when I got to his room he was already passed out on his bed.

I asked him today if he remembered it and of course his answer was, "No!".

Ben...I have no idea what you were dreaming about (nor do you remember!), but I hope you were grabbing at something great. I am curious why you were sneaking though....? It's not like you to be dishonest.

I know...you was picking "air flowers" for me again. Hahahaha!!! :-) You'll never forget that...nor will I.

LET'S CALL IT AN ART

"Watch your words diligently. Words have such great power to bless or to wound. When you speak carelessly or negatively, you damage others as well as yourself. This ability to verbalize is an awesome privilege, granted only to those I created in My image. You need help in wielding this mighty power responsibly....Ask my Spirit to help you whenever you speak."
~ Jesus Calling, 365 Day Devotional

This is part of the devotional I read the other morning. Needless to say, it hit home.

How much more peace we would be responsible in creating if we'd just learn to think first, then speak.

All of us. I'm including myself in on this!

Before we start telling others our opinions, thoughts, beliefs...stop. Think. Will these words hurt? Are they really necessary? Would I want them said to me? Is it my place?

It takes a strong person to learn the art of keeping quiet.

I, for one, will be working on this lost art.

"MOMMY"

I have to admit when I found out the kids could text for free on their iTouch's by using some free app, I was a little apprehensive.

As I soon discovered, it's their dad and I who receive the texts (although Ben texts his friends and I have full access to those...thankfully...as they all get emailed to me). Good news is he doesn't know this and I'm happy to report the texts are completely harmless.

Shelby had to have the app because big brother did.

And today it provided the perfect, little break in my day I needed.

Heart. Breaking.

Easy to do with this little girl. One minute she's a fireball I can't contain. The next...well, just look above.

SOME PART 2'S REALLY ARE BETTER

Why oh why can't this be my job?

"Terri...today we need you to make up a rap song with Justin Timberlake."

Ummmmm...gee. Okay!

See, if you are doing something you love, it's not work at all. Right? Which brings me to the next point.

I know people say money doesn't buy happiness, but I'm here to tell you I can't think of a dang thing in my life it wouldn't improve. SERIOUSLY.

In the meantime, if you so choose, enjoy the stylings of Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake and their "History of Rap Part 2". I did.

WE ARRRRRRRE!

I couldn't let the day go by without wishing a Happy Birthday to a wonderful person.

I actually met this person about (oh boy does this age both of us) 27 years ago. In high school, he dated a friend of mine and to be honest, I didn't actually "know-know" him. Really just knew of him. However, what I did know of him is that he smiled a lot. In fact, I vividly remember his smile. He always seemed to have it on. I remember associating his name with being a nice guy. But for the most part, we ran around with different crowds.

Or so I thought.

Fast-forward this year. One night while visiting with his mom, she brought me a photo album. Now, if my parents had pulled out of photo album of me, I would have intercepted it immediately and spiked it under the bed of the nearest room.

But he didn't. And I'm thankful that didn't happen.

I start looking through it. Elementary school photos. Pee-wee football. Middle school. Family Christmas's. Then high school. Yep, that's the smile I remembered.

I turned a page to see a black and white picture of him sitting on a bench. I looked at it and must have gotten a grin on my face that wasn't the normal, "Oh, what a good picture" because he looked at me and asked, "What?".

Then came over to see what I was looking at. Embarrassed, he said, "Oh. Yeah. That was my picture for 'Most Handsome'.".

"Yeah. I know."

"You do? You remember that?"

"Ummmmmm...yeah. Mainly because I took it."

He looked at me, then said, "Oh my gosh...you're right. That was you!"

Since then, we've gone over various high school highlights and discovered how often we were in the same place at the same time. It took Megan Fox (don't ask) to bring our paths back to a crossing point.

I have to admit, the first few month of getting to know him, I wanted to slap him silly. We reacquainted through a sarcastic remark (I know...shocking) on Facebook, then discovered we were going through similar circumstances. Therefore, we tried to lift each other up, as friends do. Encourage each other. Even give relationship advice to the other person.

But now, I'm very happy to be getting to know this man. I've discovered a strong, both physical and mental, person. One who would give the shirt off his back to help anyone. Relentlessly loyal and honest. Generous, sometimes to a fault. :-) And I actually mean that as a compliment. A person who has put a smile on my face more times than I can count and has literally put me in physical pain from laughing so hard. Many times. I have never met someone who likes to joke around and have fun...any kind of fun...more than him. In many ways, he's still just a big kid. In fact, there's been a couple of times I've had to talk him out of pretending he's the guy in that AT&T commercial who doesn't get the message about the flash mob changing time, and he embarrassingly starts dancing. One day, I *know* this will actually happen and somehow, I will have been talked into video taping it.

He's a father who loves his children more than life and brags on them constantly. A very proud Devil Dog, aka Marine. One of the most respectful people I know. A gentlemen beyond measure...if you are a female, you will never see him let you open your own door. He still says, "Yes ma'am" and "Yes Sir" to those older than him. If he doesn't want someone to pick up the check, he won't argue about it...he will simply do something let the waitress know on his way to the restroom and will have paid for it before you even realize what just occurred. Extremely supportive in anything I do, while still being 'protective' when appropriate. Puts up with a certain 8 year-old little girl referring to him as "Crispy Peanut Butter and Jelly" and endless questions about his life as a Marine from an 11 year-old young man. A professional clean freak (it's okay if the sink has water droplets in it! I promise!). But most importantly, a man who is not just comfortable talking about what Christ has done in his life, but enthusiastic about it.

So Chad...I hope you have a wonderful birthday. You deserve it. Thank you for being such a supportive person in my life. I know you didn't pack all the baggage I tend to carry around, but you've done an amazing job of helping me slowly unpack it and try and figure out where it goes.

Here's to you on your day :-)... enjoy! But please don't take this as a form of encouragement to live this out...especially when I'm around.