I am loving all these first week of school stories. They're always good, but this year the kids seem to be sharing more info. I remember all to well the days of picking them up after school, asking about their day and getting nothing more than, "It was good".
I'd ask open ended questions and inevitably...and whatever the question...get the all-encompassing answer of, "Nothing".
So, this year, I'm relishing in all the information.
Today, Shelby was telling me about all the new kids in school. One little girl in particular.
"She's really nice. Wears glasses. And she always wears a necklace with a cross on it, so I know we have things in common." Love that!
I asked what her name was and Shelby said, "I can't remember. But don't worry...it's my goal tomorrow to get her name and never forget it again. I want her to be my friend and for her to know people like her. I don't think I'd like being new."
I've been the 'new girl' in school before and it wasn't so bad. Of course I was in high school and did NOT want to move, but it ended up working out and I somehow survived it. :-)
I like meeting new people. More so now than I used to. I used to be a lot more self-conscious about it, but am learning to master the skill.
What I'm still not great at is letting people go who I know don't really belong in my life. Maybe we've grown apart. Maybe it's just not a healthy relationship any more. There are various reasons. The art of saying 'Goodbye" is one I haven't yet mastered. I guess some people know how to do it, but I doubt it's ever done flawlessly.
Someone always gets hurt.
But to think they won't survive is egotistical, at best.
And to continue on burying my head is living a lie. And God knows I've had enough lies for a couple lifetimes.
I never really thought of this as being a skill I'd need to teach the kids, but I sure wish someone had gone over it with me in my younger life. I've got to admit, Ben seems to have it down. Shelby is more like me. Thinks with her heart more than her head. Just like her momma. Sometimes that's good. But when faced with releasing someone from your life, even if they may not be interested in the relationship ending...that's where it had always been a problem for me.
And this is exactly where my heart and head have started working together. The reason I've decided that, uncomfortable or not, sometimes they have to figure out a way to sync. If for no other reason than not to delay the inevitable and cause even more hurt in the process.
The process of distancing oneself from a relationship isn't fun, but sometimes it's necessary in order to move forward in life to the next stage.
There's a whole list of adjectives I'm going to have to call on to be at their highest alert. Courage. Grace. Respect. Honest. And even love. Maybe mostly love.
Always remember and never forget: The toughest part of moving forward is not looking back.
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