Did I Mention I'm Thankful?

On this day traditionally reserved for giving thanks, I reflect on this past year and recognize so many things I'm grateful for. I've always had things to be grateful for, I just don't think I fully appreciated them. It's my goal that this awareness never leaves me again. I will be diligent in not only making sure it doesn't, but in making sure my family and loved ones know where my heart is. I'm not shy or embarrassed about letting those I love know it. What's the point in us all being connected if we don't share our feelings, emotions, gratitude...everything. Otherwise, we're cutting ourselves off. The fact I'm so acutely aware of the wonderful things in my life gives me confidence my true thankfulness is here to stay. That feels good. No...great.

I know I will leave some off by accident, but here are some things I'm thankful for:

I have a family I love and who loves me.

The good health of my family.

Texas weather.

Answered prayers. And unanswered prayers, as well.

Chocolate. Coffee. Yummy creamers for my coffee.

Second chances (and third, fourth, fifth and so on...).

Changes. And that God gave me the desire to change and get my head out of the clouds so I can move toward being the woman I was meant to be. The wife. The mom. The friend.

Patience.

A certain, funny 9 year-old boy who has a great, big heart and a resiliency I can only hope to have one day.

An outrageous little blonde-haired, blue-eyed 6 year-old girl with courage and creativity that blows me completely away.

My husband. What can I say? I gave him my heart long ago.

Duke-dog my Boxer.

Scout, aka "damn dog" THE German Shorthaired Pointer.

Dreams.

Forgiveness.

Guardian angels.

Surprises.

Not taking things/people for granted.

Small towns.

Crescent moons and pressed ham.

Hope. Faith. Encouragement.

Parents.

Hugs and kisses.

The small things that mean SO much. And that I not only recognize them, but am grateful for them.

True friends.

Love. Love. Love. Did I mention Love?


Happy Thanksgiving. May you recognize all you have to be thankful for, grab onto it with both hands and never let go. Never be afraid to be thankful.


Always remember and never forget: Always, ALWAYS be thankful for what you have and you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have - you will never, ever have enough.

Channeling My Inner-Elf

I know, I know...tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I'm writing about Christmas. Why? It's not that I'm overlooking Turkey Day. I love it. I have many wonderful memories of Thanksgiving and look forward to many more. In fact, Thanksgiving holds a place near-and-dear to my heart for many reasons, but I won't get into that right now. Thanksgiving Day deserves its own post.

You see, I've got lots of Christmas decorations. This decorate-all-out theory was passed down to me and I am grateful for it. Seems I've already passed this down to my Belle. She is whipping me about getting all the decorations out NOW. Because I have so many decorations, I try to start getting them out the week of Thanksgiving. Otherwise, I feel like I barely get them out before I have to pack them away again for another year. Plus, I think it makes the house look festive and a little brighter. Twinkling lights have a way of doing that, don't they?

But I digress...

The reason for my premature holiday excitement...my Mom. She passed away right before the holidays and being that it was her favorite time of year, I wasn't too excited about that first Christmas without her. It was too soon. It had only been a little over a month. I wondered how this time of year would ever be the same. Initially, my heart was heavy and I couldn't imagine doing any of those things we'd made into tradition without her. Remarkably (I say that sarcastically...I know Who clued me in), it didn't take too terribly long for me to get the message. And normally I have to be hit over the head with a hammer.

It was up to me to carry on the tradition. Even though it was my first Christmas without her, I channeled my inner-elf and opened the cardboard boxes lined with masking tape and got to business. I started with the reindeer. I got them out of the box, pushed their little feet in the styrofoam, made sure Rudolph was front-and-center, put Santa in his sleigh along with the worn-out, red cotton bag with the presents inside and sprinkled it with the fake snow. All of this was placed with care on top of her piano. Where it went every year. Where it would go every year thereafter, for as long as I had her piano.

I hung the green glass, big bulb lights around the front door. She loved green lights outside and blue lights on the tree.

Once I did just those few things, the tide began to turn. I started realizing that instead of being overwhelmed with the sadness of her much-too-young dismissal from this world, I would choose to celebrate her favorite time of year the way she would want it done. The way she taught me to. I think it would disappoint her to think that a time of year - a time of year she had always shared with me snuggled up on the couch watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, decorating and baking - a time that had always been so full of joy and hope was now full of sadness. In fact, I think it might have even ticked her off! "I passed on all I know. All my Christmas love and 'skills' and you're not going to use them? Why on earth do you think I shared them with you in the first place?!"

This time of year is about celebrating. Coming together and spending time with family...like it or not! The kids are out of school, our work days are cut short, guests and family come in from out-of-town to visit...everyone should be so lucky. Yes. I said lucky.

It does not escape me that there are so many people, many of whom are right under our noses, who aren't as lucky. Their holidays are spent alone, with their child in the hospital receiving chemo, or just choosing to be unhappy and Scrooge-like.

So, as I clear places in the house for all our Christmas decorations before the calendar has even turned to December, it is with great love I remember my mom and know that she'd be doing the same. Humming Christmas carols to herself, visualizing where specific things should go and preparing to share her heart with her family.

Especially now that I have kids, I'm always tickled to be able to see it all through their eyes. I often miss the things they are looking at because I'm too busy looking at their reactions to whatever is taking place. It's a wonderment I adore sharing with them now. It's like I get to re-live childhood all over again, but now with the appreciation that there's more meaning in everything going on around me. And I want them to remember this time of year as one when great memories of their childhood were made. When their family and loved ones came together and recalled past holidays. When stories were shared. Food was eaten from recipes passed down from generations. That certain smell fills the air that only comes this time of year. We snuggle a little more. We are a little more thankful for what we have instead of what we don't have or what we 'want'. We realize we are all connected.

The song "All I Want for Christmas is You" by Mariah Carey came on the other day and Belle questioned why this person wasn't asking for presents. I mean c'mon...she's six. She knows it's Jesus' birthday and that He is the Reason for the Season, but I also get kids love opening presents! We teach them to write letters to Santa, for cryin' out loud. I explained to her that as you get older, you start realizing what's really important to have in your life. You 'want' things you can't buy. You desire happiness, love, family, good health, a bright future. That becomes what is important. That becomes your heart. Your superficial desires change and you understand those you love are what encompasses the purpose of your life. For me, these kids we brought into the world are IT. These little souls could have gone to anyone and WE got them. You can't get much more thankful. I mean really. What else could you ask for?

My life isn't just MY life. And I know now not to live it as such. We are all connected. My words, actions, everything...affect others. If you want to live a life that isn't connected to others...good luck. But why anyone would want to do that is beyond me. Bad times change to good. You just sometimes have to channel your inner-elf to make it happen.

So yes...I love (LOVE) this time of year. I tend to want to jump to it right after Halloween (NOT before...that is something that irks me). It just seems to go by so fast. My apologies to those who are not quite ready for all the merriment. It's just who I am. It makes me happy. It reminds me of what is important in life. It makes me want to celebrate life. Even though the one who taught me how to celebrate this season is no longer on this earth. In fact...BECAUSE of it. She taught me to celebrate and love this time of year. So celebrate and love it with my family I will.

Still Awaiting My Award

As I sit here on the couch taking a break from moving furniture around and cleaning under it, around it and on it, I find myself absolutely sure I will never receive my Mother-of-the-Year award.

My poor daughter has been bored silly, loopy and topsy-turvy all day. See...I had to work even though the kids have the entire week off from school. All she sees is mom sitting on the couch 'playing' on her computer. What's actually going on in front of me are run-down and foreclosed-on properties that I'm writing marketing statements about and uploading the pictures and info to my client's website. You know...great balls of fire fun stuff, right?

She (understandably) doesn't totally get that being on my computer is my job.

So, I keep taking time here and there to do things for her. Get out Christmas decorations that she can put upstairs and decide where they should go. Where they look best in her keen eyes. But that's not enough.

So I clear out the front room to make room for the Christmas tree that will (hopefully/maybe) go up this week to satisfy her over-anxious holiday spirit (yes...I take full credit for this). It must be hereditary. All this does is make her want the tree and all the other decorations out NOW.

So what does this Mother-of-the-Year contender say? "Shelby...you have got to give me a break."

Thankfully, she responds, "Okay!" with an 'I've-got-something-better-to-do-anyway' tone.

However, as I walked away, I felt horrible. My goal tomorrow? To get up bright and early (even though I am not the morning person I fiercely wish I were) and get my work done while she's still a little snoozy and isn't as anxious to have time with me.

I know I'm not the only mom out there who says things to their kids they regret. And not that what I said was horrific. I actually said it rather calmly and matter-of-factly. No yelling. But still. I felt like a bad mom and that I could've done better. And I could have.

As moms, we are much harder on ourselves than anyone else could ever be. A friend and I were discussing this a long time ago after one of us were criticized by an 'outsider' as to the way we handled a particular incident with our child. "Doesn't she know I go over and over in my head the mistakes I make as a mom every single day? Her critiquing what I'm doing isn't helping at all. It's just plain hurtful. Does she really think she was a perfect mom and has the right to give me unsolicited advice and opinions as to my being a mom?" There is no such thing as a perfect mom. Even those who we look at from the outside have their own 'things' they wish they did better.

It's so easy to lay judgement when you are standing on the outside looking in. Especially when you don't know what is in that person's heart and has been circling around their head all day. I like to think most of us take this job extremely seriously. Unfortunately, there are those who don't. They may talk-the-talk about what it is to be a good parent and how much they love their kids. But when it comes to actions, they can't back it up.

We all have our days. The key is recognizing them and trying (desperately) to learn from them so we can raise our kids with encouragement, benevolence, confidence and love. We are examples to them of how to act. How we are to treat others. What is acceptable behavior and what is not. They are little sponges.

Always remember and never forget: Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.

Pink Puppies and iPhones

A conversation on the way home from school between two "loving" siblings:


Ben: Well mom...guess who just said Pink Puppy is more important than me?

Editor's Note: Pink Puppy is Shelby's stuffed animal she's had since she was a baby whom she does NOT go anywhere without.

Me: Obviously someone who wasn't speaking from their heart.

Belle: Well I just don't know...I mean it's Pink Puppy. I love Ben, but...

Me: Shelby, if you don't realize what is more important, you got a big problem sister. I can't name one thing Ben would take over you.

Ben: Nope. Well, except for an iPhone. But that's obvious.

Me: You aren't helping my point, Ben.


Always remember and never forget: You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.

Weekend Update

This weekend went a little somethin' like this...


Friday night: Date night with D. Meet up with two other couples. Enjoy wine. Switch establishments. Enjoy sushi, beer, etc... . Switch establishments...again. Enjoy fried pickles, beer, sports on about 80 televisions. Go home. See myself in the mirror. Wonder why I'm gaining weight (ha! All the "enjoyment" above have something to do with it, perhaps?).

Saturday morning: Wake up WAY too early after a fun/late night out for an 8am football game (at which Belle is cheering). While on sidelines, learn about new iPhone apps I've never heard of (including coupons!) while watching the game. Imagine we are getting the hairy-eyeball from the football parents because we aren't cheering enough, but the apps are too fun and we are laughing too much. Football game won. Watch the most enthusiastic little football players run through the victory line always done by our cheerleaders after each game. Watch the very excited coaches try to kneel down to run through the same line. They are always so supportive of our girls. Super Bowl bound, once again. Reminder: bring heavy blanket unlike last year.

Saturday late morning: Convince Belle to take a nap before her cheer competition that afternoon. Lay down with her. Snuggle. Talk. Catch up on her life. Take in that 'little girl smell' that I'll always remember and never forget. Belle decides she's not tired. Too late...momma is. I'm out. She's not.

Saturday afternoon: Dress Belle...again...in her cheer uniform. Hair in pigtails. Off to get more hair and makeup done. Get there early and watch her friends in another division cheer. She whispers in my ear, "This is just awesome." I smile that she has an activity to do with her friends that brings her such joy. Even though it's cheer...and that's never been much of a 'sport' to me until I watch how much they do and how hard they work. She's happy. That's what matters. Make up done, cheer competition complete. They did great and leave with medals around their necks. The entire football team shows up and brings them all white roses after the competition and take an adorable group picture. My heart grows a little more watching those boys be protective over their cheerleaders/little sisters.

Saturday night: Dinner with the family. Another family from school shows up. They have a little boy who is in Belle's class and they kind of have a 'crush' on each other, for lack of a better word. Really, they are buddies. Belle spends the entire evening smiling across the restaurant at him. I take a picture of her staring. She looks at me in amazement that I'd dare to do such a thing. Sorry. It's my job. Head to the casa. Throw some clothes in the washing machine. Sit. Relax. Snuggle. Sleep.

Sunday morning: Church. Reminded of confidence and encouragement (Hebrews 10:19-25). That our main source of confidence should come from God; not our zip code, belongings, clothes, job, etc... . That we should surround ourselves with a community of encouragement. Notes most of us don't experience the encouragement we seek because we don't place ourselves in the position of encouragement. Whoa...so true. The power of synergy. The grace of God and those we choose to associate with. Birds of a feather. Don't be surprised when the monkey eats the banana. You get the gist.

Sunday after church: Go to lunch with friends from church. Discuss our crazy kids. Our opinion of the church we are visiting vs. the church we are considering transferring from. The difference in the pastors. Weigh the pros and cons. Discuss how the role of kids sports has changed since we were little. Discuss how much we respect the dads who are coaching who don't have their kids playing the 'lead' role. Also discuss our admiration for them even volunteering to coach. It takes a lot of time. I want my kids to play sports, but definitely don't want to coach. Glad someone else does. Wish they all did it for the right reason (wanting to c-o-a-c-h and therefore teach all the kids) vs. the wrong (wanting to produce clips for their kid's highlight reel). Yep, too many out there just want to round up a group of kids who already possess some form of natural ability and just win. Discuss how it's become all about the win vs. kids playing with their friends and learning a sport. So very different from when I was little and played sports.

Sunday afternoon: Running errands and shopping with D. Spend enough at the grocery store to earn a free Thanksgiving turkey (yes!). Come home, continue with laundry started the day before. Shower. Start reading a new book (Have a Little Faith, by Mitch Albom). Pass out with glasses on and book on my lap (according to D). Set alarm to get up and start a new week.

Always remember and never forget: "Small events and choices determine the direction of our lives just as small helms determine the directions of great ships." M. Russell Ballard

That's Quite a Tangled Web Ya' Got There

I guess it's human nature. Lying. It's relative easy to do and every single person on the earth does it at some point, whether they intend to or not. Yes you have. We all have.

Of course, when our kids have been angels their entire lives, it's a bitter pill to swallow when they do it. Now, Shelby is a little turkey and will look me straight in the eye and lie. Not huge things, More like, "I only had once piece of candy," things when I've already seen her devour four. And I know when she's lying. She's as transparent as freshly cleaned glass. Of course she has consequences, but every once in awhile, here it comes...smack dab in my eye. A friend of mine says she's getting all her orneriness out of the way now and she'll be a great teen having learned her lessons early. Yeah...right. I'm not holding my breath on that one.

But when my Ben...my sweet, angelic, despises-people-who-lie Ben...lied - you could have knocked me over with a feather.

Here's the deal: He was supposed to be in bed. Snuck his iTouch in his room. Took careful steps to harbor it under his bed...along with the charger cord (yep, he was thinking ahead) and then tried to pass it off as, "What? I'm not doing anything." Finally caved. Apologized with much remorse. But got it taken away as a consequence.

Lesson learned, right? WRONG.

I was shocked. He snuck it up again a couple nights later and lost it for the entire week.

I know. This isn't huge. But...it's lying.

He always shows remorse. Is very apologetic. But I just can't stand he's dong it and really don't want him to ever think it's okay. There is absolutely no need in it (though, as I said, everyone ends up doing it...even this author). The truth always comes out.

And lies can be done with words or with silence. Another lesson for a literal thinker.

As we get older, we begin to understand it really is a waste of time to lie. Then we make excuses with things we call 'white lies'. Say we don't want to hurt someone's feelings or are trying to spare further insult to injury. But in maturity (which doesn't always fall in sync with age), we learn how to tell the truth even when it's difficult. Even when it may hurt the other person. At least most of us do. There are still those who will stick their heads in the sand and hope the issue just blows over. Maybe not talk to the other person for awhile or avoid their phone calls or attempted visits. More often than not, the one lied to just lets it slide out of sheer pity for the other person and a desire to move on.

Yes, as I've tried telling the kids - the truth will always bare its ugly head. The evidence is left lying around in so many places. Especially if someone else is in on what you are trying to hide. See...they may not know you are lying and the truth slips out. "Please don't say anything! I didn't know you weren't suppose to know!" Or, they accidentally reveal the truth and you don't say anything so as not to put them in an awkward situation. Boom...truth revealed. Trust faltered. Feelings hurt. All so unnecessary.

Just because the truth may be hard to tell doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. In fact, if it's that difficult, it's probably a whopper and you should be the one to come clean versus it being revealed in some other way. Those doozies always surface. Own up!

There's a poster in the kid's school that says, "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember what you said." Perfection.

Sometimes when we discover the truth, we let things go so as not to rock the boat. After all, we now know the truth and we wonder, "How far will it seriously go? " As we get older, we learn to keep our mouths shut and just watch and listen in amazement. This has been an especially difficult maneuver for me as I always want to front the person out. "I know you are lying! Why can't you just tell the truth?"

I hope I learn to issue consequences that teach my kids not only to tell the truth, but to WANT to tell the truth and to be a person of honor whom their friends and loved ones can trust. I try to show a little more compassion when they come to me when they've done something they shouldn't have versus me catching them. I want them to know they can always come to me and expect forgiveness and love.

I know. I know. They're young. Testing limits. I'm not freaking out over this latest scenario. I just want them to learn early. And if you think your child never has or won't lie, you're delusional. And guess what? It doesn't mean they are horrible kids. It means they are human and searching for boundaries. As I always say, I missed that sign that said, "The line starts here for perfect kids." I know of only one person who walked on water.

I just hope my kids learn the hard lessons of lying while they are young. It's sometimes tough to tell the truth, but it's always worse to get caught in a lie and lose trust. And dignity. And honor. And respect. Especially if you are your own worst critic, like Ben is.

So, if you owe someone the truth, no matter how hard it is to bring up the subject...go tell them now. They may already know the truth and are just waiting for you to do the right thing.

Always remember and never forget: When you stretch the truth, watch out for the snapback.

Walk, Listen and Learn

Last week, I added walking to my daily workout regime. Okay, truth be told...walking became my daily workout regime since I haven't had one in awhile. There's a nature trail that runs through our neighborhood and it's beautiful right now.

The leaves are changing colors and falling everywhere around while we walk. I'm convinced if I catch a leaf as it's falling that's GOT to mean good luck. No, I haven't caught one yet, but I know I'm at least providing some comedy relief as I run around under the trees dropping the most leaves holding my hands cupped out in front of me. Oh well...it will happen some day. Hopefully.

Yesterday, we took the kids with us. I'll admit we were a little concerned they would get tired, complain, or something else that would make the usually enjoyable walk less enjoyable. We were thankfully proven wrong and had a great time.

So often these days, families are running around, rushing to get the normal 'day-to-day maintenance' of everyday life done (work, laundry, dishes, homework, lunches made, bills paid, play dates, practices) that we don't get a chance to just BE together. You know...no plans, no agendas, just be ourselves, hang out and see what happens next.

Well, we got that opportunity yesterday and learned quite a bit.

What, you ask?

These are the things you learn when you spend time together as a family with only the distraction of falling leaves and the occasional squirrel scurrying up a tree:

The red maple leaves are actually called 'unicorn leaves' due to the way the stem sticks straight up (all according to a 9 year old).

My daughter has a boyfriend (she thinks).

He called her 'hot' (yes...she's only 6).

He told her he loves her (yes...he too is only 6).

Upon him telling her he loved her, she started wrestling him. That's my girl.

If you want D to smile from ear-to-ear, put him on a playground swing. I have pictures of this to prove the point.

He secretly aspires to do the ever-risky 360 (you know...you swing so high you actually go over the bar).

The fact that school playgrounds no longer have swings on them (because of risk of injury? But they do have rock climbing walls...go figure) my son isn't real sure of the mechanics of how to start swinging...and keep going higher. Poor kid! We're working on changing this. :-)

I can get lots of good pictures of my family having a day of fun. Just be-ing together.

Sometimes plans are overrated and just going with the flow is the best thing you can do for your family.

The air smells sweet when you are surrounded by fall leaves and a stream.

There's a precious dog along the walk who will give everyone kisses. Then cry when we leave.

My kids are aching to climb a tree and Shelby calls trees with such potential "lookie-out trees".

Shelby still wants a frog as a pet. And is willing to catch one to make it happen. :::gulp:::


I'm once again reminded of how the 'little things' add up to make the big things in life. Just having time together is vital. No tv's, no computers, no phone conversations, total dedication to spending time together. If we all did more of this, we'd know more about each other. Smile more. Laugh more. Ask more questions. Get more answers. Remember why we are all together in the first place.

Am I getting too Edie Brickell with all this?

Philosophy, is the talk on a cereal box. Religion, is a smile on a dog. I'm not aware of too many things. I know what I know if you know what I mean. Chuck me in the shallow water before I get too deep.

Maybe. But I choose to look at it as being observant and seeing things clearly. And I believe both me and my family will be better because of it. Now and in the long run. And these amazing kids are so worth it. We're making history here. Even just a little walk here and there adds to it. It's what composes their memories of childhood and life.

Always remember and never forget: Don't make excuses. Make things happen. Make changes. Then make history.

Connecting the Dots

Today is my birthday! Am I one of the few 'older' women who actually still enjoy having birthdays? I like getting the phone calls, emails, text messages, cards, hugs and all the other well wishes that come with a day dedicated especially to me. I'm an otherwise non-limelight kinda girl, but I do believe birthdays are a big deal. At least I believe they should be treated that way.

As Ben put it this morning, "If you didn't have a birthday, me and Shelby wouldn't be here." True...so true.

As we get...uh-hum...'older'...I think it's only natural to look back over our lives and do some evaluating. Some inventory control. Some investigating. "Am I making the most of my life?"
Or better yet, "Am I doing what God wants me to be doing with my life?"

Well, let's see. Is that a can of worms I really want to open?

I guess I have to judge both questions based on the day-to-day (to day-to-day-to-day). So many times, we look back at our lives in terms of big moments or events. I know that's how I've done it. At least in the past.

::::I graduated high school. I graduated college. I got a job. I got married. I got a better job. Went through lots of infertility issues. I had a kid. I quit that better job. I had another kid. I started my own business. And so on.::::

However, if this past year has taught me anything, it's emphasized the importance of stopping to smell the roses because we aren't guaranteed tomorrow. When my number has flipped for the final time, I want to know I'm looking back on not just the big things, but more importantly remembering the little ones. Because they are what lead up to all the 'big' ones.

The things that happen in the middle of those big events are the really important ones. Without them, those events defined as 'monumental' would be non-existent (to steal Ben's philosophy). And he is right.

Take the events of my birthday today, as a way of proving my point. When asked earlier by a friend if I'm having a good birthday, I could already say, "Yes!" even though it was only 11:30 a.m. Why? Because last night I went out with a dear friend who was sweet enough to think of me ahead of time and bought tickets for us to an event she knew I'd like. Then I came home and kissed my already-in-bed (but not asleep) kids goodnight who went on to compete to see who could compliment me the most ("You smell good." "You are so pretty." "I like that shirt on you." You get the drift...).

This morning I woke up to happy birthday wishes on my computer, my phone, from my kids, from my husband. Cards were ready for me to open and sweet messages were inside. It has already been explained to me that a cake will be purchased FOR me...I will NOT, under any circumstances, be purchasing it myself. And finally, D has already arranged for us to have a night out tonight. That's right! HE arranged the sitter.

Did anything truly monumental happen? Probably not in most people's eyes or by most people's definition of 'monumental'. I guess my definition is just different. Imagine that...me...thinking differently than everyone else.

See...It's the little things that happen along the way that matter to me. That make me feel loved and appreciated. It's the small dots that connect to the big dots that end up making a complete picture when you stand back and look at it. A complete life. Some of the day-to-day events in my life are probably mundane to some. Maybe even monotonous. But I see consistency. I see a pattern of connecting my dots every day and showing my kids this is what you do. Big events come and go. Every day things happen...well...every day! It's not just about connecting those dots that are easy to find. Anyone can do that. It's about being patient and searching, working, then connecting those that are difficult to get to, also. ("When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."~ Unknown). I love quotes. The words I want to say, but have a hard time getting on paper...

So it's the dots/moments when my 6-going-on-16 year old daughter screams, "You just don't understand me! No one gets me!" and we laugh hysterically (and one day, she will too). It's the times when my son takes yet another school picture that looks as if he's trying to turn the camera to stone (He smiles a million times a day! Why can't he smile for a posed shot?!). It's the times when people love me enough to do the 'little things' that make my birthday feel like a big deal.

And when all those dots connect....it's beautiful. And I feel extremely loved. And grateful. And when I look at them from a distance, they are looking more and more like a complete picture. The dot by itself isn't so impressive. But together...with all the other dots connected ~ it's huge and to me: even miraculous. So often, people don't think of the end result. Every moment/dot counts. It all adds up. Even our kids get it.

Sometimes dots get neglected or we get frustrated about finding them and just feel like moving on to the next. Eventually we realize we have to come back and connect them. Every single one is part of the picture. Part of learning. Part of living. Part of putting the picture together and making it complete. It's when we care enough to go back and make the connection is when our picture starts really coming together. No one said it had to be perfect; that's not expected actually. How boring would that be? I feel much more accomplishment knowing I found the difficult ones.

The little dots in the complete picture of our lives are vital. Not every one of them is exciting. If they were ALL exciting they would lose their fizzle quickly and our definition of 'exciting' would soon change to 'monotonous'.) But without those little dots, we can't move on to the next and complete the picture. And the next dot could be one of those big events just waiting to happen!

So here's to connecting all the dots of our lives and making sure we pass on the joy and responsibility in doing so to our kids. More than anything I pray my kids feel as though I've contributed to giving them and showing them by example how to have a complete life and that in the future, their hearts overflow by connecting their own dots with their little ones.

I'll end with a quote from Albert Einstein about life because I love what he has to say here:
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

And it's all miraculous.

Flip That Number!!

I've never been one who is stuck on age. I figure, as long as I feel the way I feel...I don't care what number attempts to define my years here on this earth. AND I sincerely feel if more people felt this way and paid a whole lot less attention to their 'number' as they did their already-in-progress lives going on around them, we'd have a lot more happy people in this world.

You see my number flips to 43 this week. Twenty years or so ago...that sounded as old as dirt. Today...I look at it is fabulous. I'm thrilled I keep getting to have birthdays (note...the alternative isn't nearly as attractive!). I know there are things I haven't done yet in my life. Some I planned on having done by now and some are things that have no time-limit. I believe God gave us this life to use right up until the end. Not just our first 40 years or so. No way. I believe He sees us as works-in-progress until our last day. I'm not overwhelmed by things I haven't accomplished. I look forward to doing them still. Come to find out...my plan isn't always the plan that was written for my life and I've learned to adjust. Detours happen.

I know for a fact, when it comes to my last hour on this earth, there is no way I'll be thinking of what type of house I lived in, what kind of car I drove, the brand of clothes I wore or how many toys I had. I know my thoughts will be about my loved ones. Did I tell them I loved them enough? Did I let them know how important they are? Did I take every chance to send them compliments and praises so it planted a seed in their hearts that they are amazing people to me? Did I take time to play with them? Did I put them first not just when it was easy, but when I had to fight to do it? Do they know they were my priority? Did I make them feel loved?

So this weekend, as I was thinking about my upcoming birthday and how the weather is supposed to be beautiful all week long, I thought YES! A perfect birthday week! See, in the month of October, we only had about 8,800 minutes of sun. Sounds like a lot? Not when we're supposed to have over 21,000 minutes of sun in October! It was the cloudiest October on record. And those pesky clouds have a way of clouding our heads.

But this week...sun. Which led me to reviewing my weekend and how the blessings and fun had actually started there, leading up to my birthday week (yes...it's my birthday WEEK).

I had a weekend full of 'happies' that proves my point of being blessed.

> My weekend started with a Friday night date night with D and I had so much fun having some alone-time with him. Very important!

> Then waking up to a lazy Saturday Halloween morning with no where to rush off to.

> On to the Belle's football game in the afternoon to watch her cheer. So cute! They did a special halftime dance to 'Thriller' since it was Halloween. Adorable.

> Back home to get them dressed for Halloween! Belle has been so excited about her costume (a cheetah). Ben went to a birthday party and had a great time (he was the Grim Reaper). First time not going with him trick-or-treating. :-( It's tough letting go.

> Spent Halloween night on our old street with great friends. Walked with Belle and her friends (and moms!) as they trick-or-treated then went back to the street for a party. Kids ran around everywhere. Adults talked, laughed, drank, ate. Very laid-back. Very needed.

> Woke up Sunday too late to make it to church (oops...the time changed and our clan was snoozy!). So we had a Phillips Pile instead in our bed. You can't get those times back. Cherished.

See? BLESSED. We have so many people around us who love us and we love. Awesome kids. A roof over our heads. Cars to drive (that are paid for!). Food in the pantry.

Yes...it's definitely been a tough year, but there are so many people who would trade their 'problems' for ours in a heartbeat. I was talking with the kids last night about the things I do around the house that they take for granted (it wasn't a lecture...it was all in jest because Ben was kind enough to tell me, "Oh and by the way mom...you burnt the pizza." Gee...thanks.). It went something like they are always quick to tell me when I don't do something OR when I do something 'wrong', but aren't' as likely to tell me "Thank you" for just the everyday stuff (clean clothes, clean house, food to eat, etc...). I went on to say I was moving to the Bahamas and they would soon realize what all I did! hahaha. I told them, "You don't know what ya' got 'til it's gone." It's like in the movie The Family Man where he thinks he has everything he wants and needs until he's given the gift of a family and all the work and love that comes with it. Something he had no idea was missing from his life until he gets it, then it's taken away. It shows you get what you give in life. By the way...if you haven't seen this movie...do NOT watch the clip below. Instead, go rent the movie now! It's a must see.



So, yes...I choose us, as the movie says. I choose this life. Chaos and all. I know this time will be a blip on the highlight reel of my life someday soon and I'll be so proud of making it to the other side of the mountain. For fighting for the positives vs. giving in to the negative situations. That's what life is all about. It's a rollercoaster, afterall.

Those oh-so irritating negatives are there to bring out our character. Our inner warrior. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr! Twenty years ago, I wouldn't be able to do what I can today. That all comes with my number flipping, thank you! Lessons learned. Knowledge gained. Priorities placed.

I have no idea what is in store this birthday week, but I know it will be funtastic and I'm looking forward to increasing my number! BRING IT!