PROMISES. CHOICES. FAITH.

What's your priority? Do you have one? Now...is it really your priority or do you just know it *should* be your priority? The way you live your life tells the truth about it. You can say what you want and try and market your life the way you want it to be. But the things you do, the things you say, the people you surround yourself with, how you treat others...it's all a neon light focused squarely on the truth.

I heard this song (see bottom) for the first time today. Yes, it's probably been out awhile considering the soundtrack. No, I'm not always at the top of the list as far as knowledge on what's new and what's not. But I mean c'mon...I work about 10 hours a day, as well as transporting two kids here-and-there, do consulting work also, homework, shopping, housework...etc! Blah blah blah...single mom stuff! It's what it is and it's actually quite grand, albeit busy.
What I can tell you is this song reminded me of the fact I may not have known where I was going in the past, but I'm pretty sure I've ended up where I'm supposed to be.

A couple years ago, I made what probably seems to most a strange declaration. "I've changed". True prayer and faith can do that (come to find out). I wanted to be happy. I wanted my kids to be happy and have all they deserved. I felt it happen. I physically felt it. Excited with my new-found outlook on what life could be, I shared this amazing feeling and...I dealt with doubters. Because I mean c'mon..who really changes who they want to be in life that quickly?

Answer: Only those who desperately and honestly want it.

I want to be self-sufficient. Entirely. I know the financial part of that goal won't happen over night, but I AM proud of the ground-work I'm laying. Brick-by-brick. I am proud of the intruders I've been able to keep out of mine and the kids' lives who do not have the same intentions of love and faith. I'm thankful to the people who have helped me along that path. I'm not looking to have an endless supply of dollars in the bank. What I am looking to have is an endless supply of people around me and my kids who love us unconditionally. Purely. Completely. Unquestionably. Honestly. Always honestly. There are no versions of honesty. And I have absolutely no respect for those who don't live by that rule. It's cowardice.

I've been on this road for a long time. I just didn't know it until a couple years ago. It all comes down to the core of what you believe and the courage (I'm talking the kind it takes to make the tough calls and put others...especially your children...before yourself) to do-what's-right. Period. No excuses. Not many people at all do that these days. They make arguments for what they have coming to them versus lowering their shoulders and doing what it takes. Everyone is different. I just know I've got two little beings watching every move I make.

PRIORITIES. FAITH.

I'm headed toward 100% because that's where I (and two kids) need to me to be. It's where I want to be and I made that choice. Yes...CHOICE.

It is so true what they say about when your kids are born. How you can't imagine loving something so completely at first glance. Ben and Shelby...I can't believe it's possible, but I love you more every, single day and will do absolutely anything and everything to give you a happy life. I probably won't be able to promise you an easy life, but I'll do my best to give you the tools to deal with the valleys. If anyone ever tells you life should be easy, laugh in their face. It will not be easy.

It will be worth it. Every. Bit. Of. It.

TODAY

The woman I am today is not the woman that I always was. I've been molded by difficulty, shaped by loss, broken by bad financial decisions, been forced to grow up by heartbreak, learned acceptance through grief, made stronger through betrayal, learned how to love self when self was all I had to depend on and most important of all I have learned that when you hit rock bottom, faith in God's promises will never fail to save you. So if you are not yet the person you aspire to be, there is hope. Let faith activate that hope today. Never give up on yourself or someone you love. There is a power within us that if used will turn our lives around if we allow it to.

 ~~Val Rose

ANY GIVEN DAY

Sometimes it takes a whole lot. And other times, all it really seems to take is...


> My youngest, who used to cutely mispronounce all kinds of words (including merote vs. remote), totally make me laugh and accidentally call it Monica instead of Hanukkah.

> My very, structured, precise oldest, who almost steps all over himself to obey his mom and not correct his sister when she mispronounces something, turn and say, "It's Hanukkah! NOT Monica! Really? Sorry mom...couldn't let that one go."

> A friend who knows you well enough to say, "Hands off the steering wheel friend...this one's out of your control. Time to move on."

> Someone who cares enough about you to come over, ignore you when you say, "I can do it", look you square in the eye and reply, "Listen...I know you aren't used to being the one to be taken care of, but sit down and let me help you feel better. Now." Impressive. Appreciated.

> Having that same someone go to the trouble to whip up some homemade German concoction you've never heard of called Gluhvein because it cures everything.

> My sweet boy hugging me after a long Saturday and telling me I'm "the best mom ever" and "I had a super, great time with you today".

> My little girl hugging my neck after same said long day and saying, "I just want to go home now, mommy. Snuggling with you is my favorite thing."

> Sitting out on my veranda enjoying a breeze and quiet time with a sweet tea in my hand. Then looking over at Ben and having him say, "Ahhhhh...this is the life.".

> Someone telling you, "You're even beautiful when you're sick". Awwwwwwe...so sweet.

> While cleaning debris out of the horses pastures, the kids are told whoever gets the most wins a prize. Ben yells, "Do dead rabbits count for extra points?!" and he wasn't kidding.

> A horse I've totally fallen head-over-heels for, hears me call him from completely across the field and literally leaps into a full-throttle gallop to get over to me. Ugh...one of God's most beautiful creatures!

> Being at total peace with the path God's carefully and thoughtfully paved in front of me. I'm grateful for the lessons He's firmly ingrained in my heart and head regarding the well-being of my kids and their future. I know without a doubt they are my priority 24/7, 365 days a year and nothing will ever change that.

> Going back to an "old" website, then looking over the new one I helped create. So thankful God blessed me with a little talent here and there so I can earn a living.

> Glancing to the left of my computer at a stack of birthday cards sent to me by people I'm so thankful to have in my life. I've read them all numerous times.

> Finding a gift card I forgot about and of all the places it could be to, it's to the place I need most right now...a massage!

> Knowing I did the right thing. Regardless of the result.


And sometimes. Well, sometimes all it takes is fitting into your skinny jeans.


Always remember and never forget: The most beautiful memories aren't specific dates on a calendar. It's the every little moment-by-moment things that matter.

SOMETHING TO KEEP REMINDING OURSELVES

The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and about a million ways to be a good one.

~Jill Churchill

MY KINDA FRIENDSHIP

Yes...I know I actually need to write something since I haven't in...well, awhile. And I do have some stuff to write up here in this very foggy, congested head of mine, but for now...I've gotta do the ole "copy and paste" of an email a friend sent to me today. LOVE. IT.

Friendship ~ None of that Sissy Shit

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

You will see no cute little smiley faces on this ~Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

When you are sad ~ I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

When you are blue ~ I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile ~ I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

When you are scared ~ I will rag on you about it every chance I get until you're NOT.

When you are worried~ I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

When you are confused ~ I will try to use only little words.

When you are sick ~Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

When you fall ~ I will laugh at your clumsy ass, but I'll help you up.

This is my oath .....I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask ~ because you are my friend.

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth. 

IF ONLY...

“If you’re going to love me, love me deeply.

 If you’re going to break my heart, then break it all.

 If you’re going to care, care for me completely.

 If you decide not to hold me, then just let me fall.

 If you’re going to stay, then stay forever

... and if you want to leave, then do it today.

 If you’re going to change, change for the better.

 And if you’re going to talk, please mean what you say.”

 ~ UNKNOWN