Do you ever change your opinions or viewpoints (I'm talking your 'out-loud' ones, not necessarily your core ones) while in the presence of someone you want to have more in common with? Or maybe you don't want to have to answer their questions about the reasons you believe whatever-it-is you believe?
I'm fairly certain we've all done this at some point or another in our lives.
Usually this is a harmless thing we do in order to just move past a conversation. But, there are other times this is done to try and form a bond. A bond you are anxious wouldn't be there unless you try to have more in common than really is the case.
I've noticed two things: The older we get, we either do this a whole lot less or a whole lot more.
For those who do it less, it's either because we've grown to not really give a flippity-flop about what others think or we've finally become confident in who we are. When we get questioned, our answers become simple. "Because". That's it. No diatribe. No over-analyzing of why. For most of us, a great deal has gone into the formulation of our opinions and viewpoints. How we were raised. Past events and experiences. Many things.
For those who do it more, it's either they are afraid to be alone or have grown less confident in who they have become. Even going to lengths to say, "Yes! Me too! I hate soft drinks also. Always have!" All the while knowing it was just last weekend they went through an entire twelve-pack of Mountain Dew. You know this person. They claim they've either always had this viewpoint or have "always thought the same thing...just never met anyone else who thought like me!"
Wow. The stars are aligning! It's fate! Wait...magic! No...neither. You've either become desperate or have lost all confidence to the point you think the other person won't give you a second look if you don't stop naming things you have in common. Even though you know, deep down, your desire to find common ground is what is grasping at anything even remotely similar.
Here's the truth...people actually appreciate you have differences. Intelligent and interesting people do anyway. GASP. Who would have imagined that!? The people who last the longest in our lives genuinely like us for who we are. Differences and all. In fact, the differences may just be what they think is interesting.
I do find it entertaining when I meet someone new and we have quirky things in common. However, I'm even more interested when they do things differently. Opens up my mind to new possibilities.
As for me, I am who I am. Like it or not.
I like to sleep-in on the weekends when I can. I watch (usually have to record) certain shows on television, like Food Network, Brothers and Sisters and whether it's cloudy or clear outside...I like The Weather Channel. I don't like wearing heels. I prefer jeans and a t-shirt. My hair is in a ponytail most days. I like creamer in my coffee and my Diet Dr Pepper in a cup, over ice and with a straw. I'm an aromatherapy freak. Candles, potpourri, whatever...I like things to smell good. I have a fetish regarding my feet...I can not stand for them to be rough. At all. And as particular as I am about that, I could care less if I ever have my toenails painted with a French pedicure. I prefer to purchase cheap purses over expensive ones. I'm just way too rough on them. Though I have a couple 'vintage' Coach's that were gifts and I do love them. I don't like being hot. I prefer the windows open with a cool breeze blowing. And I love plants. All kinds. Bring the green!
All this being said, if you believe or do the exact opposite of anything I've said above...I don't judge you or question you about it. It's none of my business. And it's also part of what makes you...you. And one of the many reasons I like you.
I hope Ben and Shelby know how important it is to be themselves. It's what makes great leaders. It's what makes a person solid. It's what makes the ground beneath you sturdy in the midst of chaos.
Always remember and never forget: You are the best you there ever was, or ever will be.
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