WHERE THE *$%^ IS SHANGRI-LA ANYWAY?

I've had a little trouble sitting down to write lately and not because I haven't had something to say.

Oh contraire.

I just haven't been able to organize my thoughts and I've been on a roll making sales calls for work. So, as usual, bullet points prevail and a pedicure tonight with my Chosen will provide some much-needed venting.

• First and foremost, the IRS is the most unorganized association in the world as far as I'm concerned. I've done nothing but RIGHT by them and I keep getting harassed due to someone else not paying. It's not fair and I'm sick of it.
• Having a foster dog by the name of Rosie presents a calming effect in this house.
• I miss hanging out with my friends. I don't fit in a particular demographic group right now and it sucks. As I expected, my married friends hang out with their married friends. I'm not wanting to go to bars and enter the 'meat-market'. I know this is a transition phase, but it's strange.
• I've been disappointed by a certain someone for the last time and while I never wanted to feel this way, I've completely given up hope this person will ever 'reform'. This goes against every grain of my being but it's necessary.
• Summer is my favorite, favorite, favorite time of year.
• It bums me out I once again can't afford to take my kids on a vacation this year. Thankful for a short weekend trip coming up in July though.
• I'm going to say something I shouldn't say out loud: I need a vacation without my kids. That doesn't mean I don't absolutely love and cherish every second with them. But it can be tough when you don't have any help. Again...don't read that the wrong way. Everyone needs 'adult' time to regroup and be the best person they can be.
• I'm ready to move out of this apartment. Enough said.
• I love my job. I love my job. I love my job.
• I need to start buying a lottery ticket again. Even just once a month. See? I still have hope for some things!

Now...bring on the pedicure.

DISCLAIMER ON THE WAY

The good thing about this blog is I get to vent.

The bad thing is it's not NEAR as good as venting to someone. Why?

Because HERE I can't name-names. Even if I substituted a name, I mean c'mon. The person would know. And not like they are necessarily reading this every day, but I'm not stupid. And neither are they. If it's interesting enough for me to write about...it's not going to be hard to decipher the person(s).

I've already gotten questioned by friends with late night texts saying, "Were you talking about ME in that post you wrote today?" My answer is always, "If I was writing about you, I would have said your name." What have I got to hide?

And I'm getting more and more...I don't know...'brave' as far as talking about some things. My new mantra is: If you did it, claim it. If you're embarrassed to claim it, you shouldn't have done it! Okay, one of my new mantras. Seems I have many. You know, I like to diversify. Cover everything.

In fact, in my job whenever I design an ad, flyer, marketing brochure...anything...at the bottom, I write a disclaimer. Just to cover anything I may not have covered or something someone trying to find a loophole actually finds. I think it's time this blog had a disclaimer.

I'm working on it, but something along the lines of:

Any defamation of character in this blog is completely accidental. Unless it's true, in which case you heard it here first and you had it coming. Names used are fictional but rhyme with the person's real name. Writings are based on real events. You know who you are and you know what you did so let this be a lesson. The writings contained herein express the opinions of the author and how you may or may not have affected her life. Warning: Mess with her kids and it's Game On. I'm talking name in all caps and boldface type. Otherwise, sit back and enjoy the read.


It may be a work in progress. Or I may just use that. The first thing that came to my head.

So to my new readers...welcome. Make yourself comfortable. Feel free to comment, ask questions, whatever. You never know, YOU could be the subject of my next post. Oh settle down...I've probably already written about you in code anyway. :)

Love, love!


Next post...yeah. I think we're going to have to discuss the Fifty Shades trilogy because OH. MY. WORD.

SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE

MMP: What would you do if you liked someone who didn't like you?

Me: What do you mean...like, romantically?

MMP: Exactly.

Me: Well, I guess I'd first try and figure out why...

MMP: Stop right there. Why on earth would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?

Me: That wasn't your question. Your question was WHAT would I do. Not IF I would do anything.

MMP: And there she is...Ms. Logical.


Logic. It was one of those classes in college I 'got' from the instant I sat down in class on the first day. It all made sense to me. Interject the word "if" and "then" and it blows the possibilities wide open. Options become endless. And as well as I did in that class, I haven't fared so well in applying all the rules of Logic to my life.

And I know exactly why that is.

Somewhere since my attendance in that class where I subjected both sides of my brain to breaking down the alternatives of various scenarios and statements, my heart entered the equation.

I graduated college, started my career, got married, had two children (after many, many failed attempts), got divorced, lost many 'things' since then ... and through all this, my left brain and my right brain weren't the only things making the decisions in my life.

And they aren't in your life either.

The fact of the matter is, logic works really well on paper. It's very black-and-white. If it's not 'this', then it must be 'that'. Which is why it works so well with our brains. Our left and our right. Again...black-and-white. One side is a particular way and the other side, well...you get it.

But in life, an invisible organ pops up above these two very different sides of our brain and introduces us to the gray area in life. It helps distinguish between what doesn't exactly fall on either side, but somewhere in the middle.

We all have a heart, and I'm not talking about the one in our chest, but the that 'invisible' one I'm referring to. The one that carries all our emotions. In life, there's more than just two answers. We have to use emotion. It's unavoidable. And it's in this very place where things get complicated.

Because while you want to base things on fact, sometimes you know people and circumstances deserve more than that. They deserve empathy, compassion, forgiveness and love. Those don't even have a place in the laws of logic.

But in talking with my ever-so-smart nine year old daughter yesterday, she reintroduces me to some much-needed reality, logic if you will, while we are watching television (a commercial, of all things).

Belle: I would never put up with someone treating me that way.

Me: Well, sometimes Belle, people say and do things they don't mean to. That's when we are called to be forgiving.

Belle: I didn't say I wouldn't forgive them. I would. I just wouldn't put up with it anymore.

Me: So what are you saying?

Belle: Just that if they keep doing it, then they probably aren't going to stop and by putting up with it I'm basically saying I'm okay with it. And I'm not.

My head surrounds the words 'if' and 'then' in her sentence. Mind you, the word 'probably' completely negates the actual logic of the statement, but I've gotta say...the stinker made sense with her very, clear brain that has not had to 'put up with' (her words) certain situations yet, being that she's nine years old.

It reminds me sometimes we absolutely need to use our heart to pitch in and assist us with decisions. But sometimes, we need to weigh the left and the right and look at the logic. Best case scenario, we merge all three.

I believe it's what we call living a balanced life.

Like that's not a feat within itself right there!


Always remember and never forget: Life is a balance of both holding on and letting go.