It's a Dog's Life

Meet Scout. Otherwise known as d*mn dog in our house. You have to admit from the looks of this picture ... she's got the sweet life. Pictured with her is her BFF ~ Loofa Puppy.

This is what her day consists of:

Wake up.
Go outside.
Come in and get snack and drink.
Go back to sleep.
Continually wake up and scratch on door to drive mom crazy.
Repeat all day.

Gotta love her though.

Dream a Little Dream

By nature, I've always been somewhat of a "planner". I didn't say I was organized so much as I plan ahead for things. I like to know what's next so I can prepare. Prepare things. Prepare items. Prepare my mind. You know...try and avoid being surprised.

Over the past few months, I've tried to loosen up a bit. Not be so by the book. Baby steps. I'm doing it so I can try and experience more in life and thus, so my kids can experience more. Things I've been afraid to do in the past or have been too nervous to try I am now taking second looks at.

Because of my nervous-nelly habits, my loved-ones have no-doubt missed out on some fun stuff. Obviously never my intention. I have always and will continue to want the best for my loved ones. My thought process was "everybody be safe and live long." I've been reminded that the book of our lives has already been written and we are to LIVE it. Obviously that doesn't mean be reckless, but try things, live life. So here I am at 42 years young and I'm still learning about living life. Learning to experience life in a different way and learning to dream.

The dreams we have for our life and what we want out of it can sometimes be challenging ones and maybe even a little scary. But sometimes you've gotta dream big and so you can experience life big. :::Again, baby steps.::: What's that quote? A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. Something like that. So true.

Marsha Norman says, "Dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you." Indeedy Marsha.

One dream that D has had for such a long time is to own a motorcycle. Something that used to scare the living daylights out of me now has me going, "Do it! You are going to have so much fun!" Am I still scared? Yes. I was never scared of how D would drive. He is extremely safe, does research on things like a mad-man and I know will be careful. It's the car drivers out there who get so close to motorcycle drivers.

Many months ago, we started talking about making it, and some other dreams, happen. And funny thing about dreams...they don't have to be yours to enjoy watching them come true. Just being around him while he reads all (and I mean ALL) the magazines, going to look at the bikes with him, talking about it...everything...just makes ME so happy to see him getting ready to realize one of his dreams. It's this point in time I want to kick myself for not encouraging it in the past because of my own fears something would happen to him. At the same time I feel blessed I now sincerely have a joyful heart watching him realize a dream and look forward to many more dreams come true.

Another dream going on is still in the infant stages and honestly, can't really say it's ever been a dream of mine so much as a "that would be so much fun" thing. Baby steppin' it all over the place here friends.

Stay tuned...(sorry...no hints)! Now go start to work on a dream of your own. If you can't think of one off the top of your head, go make a bucket list. What a great idea! Think I'll start one too. Looks like another blog post in the works! :)

I'm Just Used to It

On our recent vacation, we made our annual pilgrimage to San Antonio's Sea World (as did the rest of the world, apparently). It was the most crowded it's ever been since we've been there.

Not the point.

One of the places we like to go is to see the Penguin Encounter. Yes they are very cute to watch, but it's always cool in there and seems we always go on the hottest day of the summer. Therefore, it's a family favorite.

On this particular visit with the penguins, Shelby asked me, "Momma...does the smell in the penguin house bother you?" (It wreaks of fish.) I told her, "No...you kind of just get used to it after a few minutes."

She replied, "Yeah...that's how I feel about Pink Puppy. I'm just used to the way she smells."

Yes, I wash that stuffed animal. As well as spray it with Febreeze and Lysol whenever possible.

Guess I need to get on doing it more often...ya think?

MIA on FB

I haven't been on Facebook as much as I was when it first got introduced to my life. I'll admit, I think it's awesome that I got back in touch with SO many friends I otherwise would not have heard from. In the beginning...I was ADDICTED to this new world. However, I'm not on it as much for two very simple reasons:

1) LIFE. Yep...we've had an extremely busy couple of months in our family and I've taken pleasure in having quality time with them. Yes, my computer crashed 2 weeks ago, but I've still had access to FB via D's computer and my phone. I've just enjoyed focusing on and chilling with the family.

2) JUNK. You have to admit it. FB is so full of "junk" updates from Texas Hold 'em Poker, Mafia Wars (which I've questioned what this is in the past) and now some Farm game thingy. Whaaaaaat?

And, don't get me started on the "personal" messages that get left on people's Wall. What's with that? If you have a personal question for someone or want to check on them if you know they are going through something...pick up the phone and call them OR use the "Inbox". Then a whole flood of "What's wrong?", "Is everything okay?", "If you need anyone to talk too...." starts up when nothing may even be going on at all, or ... guess what...it's personal. Broadcasting it doesn't help. I've had this happen to several friends. They've asked, "Why in the world did 'she' write that on my wall?" or "Just send me a regular email vs. using Facebook! Or call me!". I hear ya'. I wouldn't appreciate it either.

Bottom line is FB should be whatever YOU want it to be and do for you. It's your "downtime" after all. However, the status updates get covered with game updates on my page anyway, and I guess it's lost its "glimmer" for me.

HOWEVER...this is NOT to say I'll be leaving the FB world. I love keeping hearing from old friends and laughing at what they are up to. I just suggest they add a new page..."Game Update" page vs. everything being on the Status Page maybe? Who knows...

Thanks to my sweet friends who actually picked up their phones and called me (you know...the "old-fashioned" way to communicate!) to see what was going on in my life since I haven't been on FB. Too funny. I love ya and am still on this Earth. I did not fall off.

Still think you're a good thing FB. Just not addicted anymore is all. And...that's a good thing for me! :-)

Now...as for "addicted" to blogging? Hmmmm....I do like it more! But I'm not using the 'a' word.

TV Train Wrecks...yuck

There is some real cr*p on television right now. We usually have the television on XM Radio (Coffeehouse channel 848 on Direct TV to be exact) because of all the nonsense on all the other channels.

Case in point. Two shows I ran across last week. One, I'll admit, I've watched before but am now gonna have to let it pass on by. As big of a train wreck as it is, I can't stomach it anymore.

The other, I had not only never seen, but never heard of. HORRIBLE. I seriously wonder how it was not cancelled by the network right in the middle of it being aired (Fox Reality channel...not too surprising).

Here they are:

Househusbands of Hollywood: I'm embarrassed to say I watched the almost 10 minutes of it I did watch. I had never heard of it and nothing was on, so I made the fatal error of stopping on the channel to let it prove itself. And boy did it. It proved to be the most embarrassing piece of programming AND choice of lifestyle I've witnessed.

It's basically, as you can imagine from the name, about these husbands of Hollywood wives who are the stay-at-home dads. Now, because I didn't watch the whole thing, I'm not positive they all have kids. In fact, I don't think they do. NOT THE POINT.

A couple of the wives actually leave their husbands notes of what they are to accomplish that day while "wifey" goes off to work. Are you kidding me? If D left me a note of what I was to "accomplish" that day...well, I can tell you the note wouldn't be visible for long and he'd walk funny for days. Part of me wants to say, "If he's staying at home, let him do his 'job' his way!" . The other part of me is screaming, "Say something to her! If you don't like the way you are being treated...do something!". I've wasted enough time talking about this show.

The second show is one I've seen in the past. I was never a regular viewer, but did watch a couple episodes when it first came on (on Tivo, so I could fast forward!). It's on of those Real Housewives shows...the Atlanta chicks. I would NEVER refer to them as ladies.

The other night, three of these women actually argued LOUDLY in a public restaurant and caused the biggest scene you could imagine. None of them appear to have any morals (lie, cheat, steal, have affairs with married men, carry on infront of their kids). You name it. As a friend of mine said, they are a "hot mess" and I couldn't agree more! As big of a train wreck this show is, it's one I'm going to have to zoom past. Yuck.

It must be a ratings hit though. You can't make that stuff up. The producers and advertisers must be laughing all the way to the bank. And probably making pit stops at trash cans to throw up at the junk they're putting out in the world. Thanks for the quality programming.

Kudos to Food Network, the Discovery Channel, the Learning Channel and even more. Without you, where would my remote land? Well, other than XM Radio!

Karma Identity Theft

As unbelieveable as it may seem...my hard drive crashed again. Yes...it just crashed about 2 years ago and now again. Yet another hardware failure (not a virus...i.e. I didn't do it!) according to our computer guy.

I finally got it back and while he gave me the absolutely fantastic news of my info still being on it, come to find out - it isn't exactly WORKING once I do open the programs. Yep, I get that lovely message stating it had to shut down and do I went to send an error report to Microsoft? Ummmm....no. Why not? IT WON'T HELP.

So here I sit updating my blog through Netscape (:::gasp:::) with the warning it it being an encrypted site and a third party could easily interfere. Fantastic. Do I have work and projects on my computer I have got to get to? Of course! But the programs won't respond once I DO get them open.

Seriously...The black clouds that keep hovering overhead need to blow away once and for all. I'm a strong person, but even I've about had my fill. This computer thing is just the tip of the iceberg and I'm having hard time hanging on to this thing and can feel the icy water on my tippy-toes. Pitty party almost complete.

I totally believe in Karma and think I surely must have gotten mixed up with someone else. Kind of like "identity theft"...I'm experiencing it through Karma. There is absolutely no way this is ALL mine. Someone's life must be very boring right now because I've got both my share AND their share of drama.

Done complaining...for now.

My Hand-Holders

How in the world did it happen that I have a 1st and 4th grader? Luckily, both kids love their school and I am glad about that. I remember walking each one in on their first day. Their hands gripped firmly in mine. Then having to let go...and leave. Every year I get a little choked up, even though they are totally fine. Did I say 'fine'? I should have said 'thrilled' to be with their friends ALL day!

Just makes me realize how time flies.

Hug your little ones before you can't reach their necks anymore. (Ben's already up to my chin!) AND, his Nana can wear his shoes. Yep, our kids have D and I to thank for our large feet that we've apparently passed on to them. You're welcome kids.

So here we go...another year of school I pray they enjoy and, of course, learn beyond what I can imagine. Both academically and socially. While it's definitely not talked about as much, those social skills are right up there with the academic ones. It's hard to have one without the other when you get older and are making it through the world, dodging all those "curve balls" we get tossed our way from various people and places.

Here's to you Ben and Shelby. I hope you enjoy every moment, soak it in and try your best. I love you more each day. And by the way -- thank you for still wanting to hold my hand.
~ Mom

Just Stick to the Facts People

I heard something on the radio today that surprised me so much, I had to research it when I got home. AND come to find out...yes, it was true.

In 2006, apparently it cost $1.21 to produce ONE penny. WHAT!?

Which led me to delve into some other strange albeit true things out there.

Don'tcha know:

Dr. Ruth Westheimer (yes, the sex therapist) served as a sniper in Israel in the 1940s. As a teenager, she was a member of the Israeli underground, and was an expert marksman and grenade thrower.

Dentists have recommended that toothbrushes be kept at least six feet from toilets to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. GROSS! (Mine is, by the way...your's will be too, now.)

It's illegal to have sex while in a moving ambulance in Tremonton, Utah. A parked ambulance is another story.

Deer sleep only 5 minutes a day. No wonder they are so "jumpy" and tense.

Cows sweat through their noses.

China has close to 25% of the world's population. Talk about claustrophobia.

Attila the Hun was dubbed the great conqueror of the world. So did he die in a great battle? No... Of a nose bleed on his wedding night.

It takes 17 muscles to smile and 43 to frown. I KNEW I was right telling my kids it took a lot more work to be mean to someone than to be nice!

Finally, and this one I'm having a hard time believing...

In his will, Noah gave the entire world to his three sons. Did he really think it was HIS to give? Chill Noah.


There. Now you know more than you did 5 minutes ago. You're welcome. :-)

What's Next?

So much has happened in the past few weeks I feel like a tornado that finally stopped spinning long enough to stop and take a look at all the chaos around me.

To start with, my computer (hard drive) crashed...again. I asked our computer guy what the heck I'm doing to make this keep happening and he assures me it is a hardware issue...NOT me. Not a virus. Not malware...etc... . He also says he can see all my info on the computer, just can't get it to boot into Windows but is confident he can save everything (clients ::::::sigh::::::: upon hearing that news!). Note to self: Seriously, Terri. Get a back up system. Your computer is your income. Take care of it.

Also, we went on a vacation and just got back last night. I'll write about the whole vacation in another post, but let's just say we had a great time and really needed the R&R as a family. It couldn't have been better and the kids got to see the beach for the first time! Obviously, this is something we need to do with them a lot more often as they loved it.

Finally, school starts a week from today and the kids both got teachers they are thrilled with and have friends in their classes. Yea!

I'm ready to get back on schedule and kick life back into gear. I feel like we go from 0 to 90 to 15 to 75...you get the idea. Kids really do much better on a schedule and while it's been difficult for me to keep them on a consistent one this summer (I know, summer is kind of about that...letting them chill-out and not have such a regimented day)...my kids do much better on a schedule. They like knowing what's next.

Knowing what's next at their age is important. It's part of the security we, as parents, are supposed to provide to them and I try and do that as best as I can while still letting them know life has a way of throwing you curve balls from time-to-time. People and circumstances around us aren't always kind and don't have other people's best interest at heart. My reaction to those curve balls has a big impact on my kids, whether I notice it at the time or not.

Case in point: I had a horoscope last week that said something about someone basically ticking me off and I jump out of my car to confront them, only to find my single defense is a luke-warm cup of coffee at which point I ask myself, "What is dignity?" Several times at Sea World (during the vacation) adults actually pushed my kids out of the way in their hurry to get places. Seriously? Don't ever be in such a hurry - especially at an amusement park where you are SUPPOSED to be having fun! - that you push someone's kid out of the way. Or anyone for that matter.

I'm proud to say that I wanted so bad to say something to (okay grab and shake) these people every time, but instead bit my lip and explained to my kids why they should never act that way. There are many circumstances in our lives where people cross us and/or our family where we feel the need to have retribution. We may even have a full arsenal that could do damage to those who dared to cross our paths and cause harm or pain to us. Making the choice to be a better person is what I want to show my kids. Not to be confused with someone taking advantage of you. That's not what I'm talking about at all. But if I can show them a way to take a higher road, they will have a much more fulfilling life. Oh to try and be the person I want to be.

I'll also make sure and mention to them NOT to go to Sea World on the last weekend of summer before school starts. Ughhh! There must have been some regional invite that said, "Rude people of South Texas Unite at Sea World!"

381

Hearing the words "I love you" can bring forth many emotions. Separate, the words don't make as big of an impact, but together as a phrase...substantial wallop.

So it's not surprising most people delight in hearing it said to them. I know it's always meant a great deal to me. It's important to say it to those you do love as often as possible. It doesn't lessen the meaning. It actually enhances the genuineness (yes it's a word!) of it. They need to know it and at least for me, I need to say it.

But, tonight I heard something that absolutely saturated my heart with a feeling of tenderness and truth.

It was very simple and it was said to my son, and in my presence.

"Ben, did you know I love your mom?"

Oh wow. It was totally unexpected timing...which made it even more exceptional. I gotta tell ya. I felt pretty darn loved.

Ben's reaction? "Uhhhh...yehhhhhhhhh...." as he looked at us like we were the two goofiest people in the universe. That's okay, because I can promise you this...our kids will always know 'love'.

I Love You...3 words, 8 letters, 1 meaning.

Thought foolish and stupid

This past weekend, in an effort to procrastinate and not do the things I really needed to do, I plopped myself on the couch, poured a glass of red wine and watched the movie, "Serendipity". I have seen this movie title on the guide pages of the television for years, probably, but never slowed down enough to watch it.

I'm so glad I did.

If you haven't seen it, basically the movie revolves around the belief of "Fate"...which I totally get. It's one of the things I say when something happens that can not otherwise be explained. "Fate!", I'll proclaim, every time, to the amusement of whoever is with me.

This happens to me with one person more than any other in the world. However, it is such a regular occurrence in my life that to ignore it would be ignorant.

You have to have your eyes, ears and mostly your heart and soul open to recognize fate. It's not for the unimaginative, the heartless or the skeptics.

On the flip side...It IS for the passionate, the lovers and most of all...the dreamers.

The first thing that caught my attention at the beginning of the movie was when one of the characters defines the word 'serendipity'. Wikipedia says it is "the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely unrelated."

I love that. So often we go out searching for what we think is going to fill some emptiness or void in our lives only to be lead in a totally different direction. Fate.

Something else that spoke to me in the movie was a quote by the Greek philosopher Epictetus. It goes like this: "If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” Amen!

Our lives are not to be lived by the definition of what others may refer to as "risky" or "dangerous" or yes, even "stupid". It is this exact thought process of being "thought foolish and stupid" that sets the dreamers apart from those who are scared.

That used to be me. Scared. Not that I'm totally a changed person, but enough to recognize the difference in how I was and how I want to be. And I want to show my kids who they can be and how you go about getting there. Now I may not fancy myself a dreamer just yet, but I'm getting there. How do I know this? I'm letting my thought processes go places they never have dared to go before. It's liberating.

Dream it. Do it. Live it. Love it.

So Epictetus...here's to being thought foolish and stupid. And for those who don't 'get' the choices of the dreamers, that's okay. After all - You have the great opportunity to write your own rules, goals, dreams. Our loved-ones get the "dreamers" in us. And if they don't...well then, have heart. Tell them why you're dreaming the dream you are. And guess what? They may totally jump on board. If not. It's your dream anyway. They don't have to jump on board in order for you to make your dream come true. However, the more they see your dream coming to fruition, it may awaken the dreamer in them. Don't be quick to judge. In fact, just stop judging.

So one more from ole Epictetus: "The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best." I mean really, we learned that in Kindergarten. Right?

And because I haven't ended in song in awhile...Don't go back, don't give up, don't pretend. Enjoy...

Ode to da' Gecko

Just getting going and started on chores
I'm interrupted by two dogs begging for outside.
"You're kidding me...again?" is all I can think
But the alternative is them going inside.

So I head for the door and take a step out.
"Well hello little gecko on the wall!
I know you move fast and can climb and all that
But you're looking at a pretty long fall."

Unless of course it plans to jump on me
Which you know causes a reaction of "Noooooo!"
A quick flick of the wrist (and some dancing around),
He flies into the great unknown.

Whew...what an adventure...glad it is through.
Where do those little suckers hide?
Wait...what is that? A new friend for Duke?
Yep...little gecko has hitched a ride.

This just means I must touch it again.
And I know it's not dangerous or bad.
But they move very swiftly and that freaks me out.
"Duke quit playing around! It's moving for your head!"

Sure enough, it heads north
And wouldn't you know...Duke starts to feel it too.
"Don't you know little friend, that if you go there
That's the part of the body that chews?"

So I finally get ahold of my dog
And you guessed it, it jumps back to me.
You're an active little thing and I didn't know you flew.
Launch it in the bushes, go inside and pee.

In or Out Already!

Don't get me wrong. I love my dogs. Probably more than most people love their pets (I said most...not ALL! I know the exceptions out there!). I even love the fact they probably think they are just short, hairy humans who are for some reason limited to walking on all-fours and have been somehow stripped of the ability to talk. (Though Duke can "speak" on request!).

But seriously...if they scratch on the back door ONE MORE TIME within 5 minute increments of JUST HAVING BEEN outside, I'm going to let loose a scream that will reverberate across this Great State.

Not only are they doing this so frequently, but I swear they KNOW it is irritating me. How do I know this? Whenever I come to the door to either let them out or in, as the case may be, I get a soft stare up to me as if to say, "I'm sorry. If I had opposable thumbs, I'd do it myself." then they hang their little heads down as if in shame. Whatever!

Love 'em...but they are seriously walking on extra-thin ice at this point. In or out people! I mean dogs!

Riding the Waves

Our family has no-doubt had what anyone would probably refer to as a "stressful" summer. It was stressful having to watch someone you love so much get weaker, finally go Home - yet be there to cherish the time left and make the most of it. It was stressful to be away from my husband for an extended period - at the same time have our relationship grow closer. It was stressful for the kids to be away from their daddy - yet learn an important life lesson that will forever impact them and their value system by watching their "super hero" take care of their Papa. More than anything, it was an honor that Doug was able to be with his dad as much as he was and that we got to see him, too. This was a time in our lives we knew we couldn't get back and it was done right. Mainly on D's part, but our support was unfailing.

These types of "stresses" are welcome. They are part of life...you know...the root word for LIVING. Time to embrace it, if you aren't already.

You don't always get the opportunity to say "Goodbye" to someone. We aren't guaranteed even tomorrow or the next hour, so I feel we were incredibly blessed that we were given this time and that it wasn't during the school year, etc... . So many reasons why I'm thankful. Stressful? Of course...but only because we loved him so much and we went through so many emotions. This was not the type of stress you necessarily wish away. After all, death is a part of life that none of us escape. Thankfully we have eternal life.

This stress was full of love, concern, compassion, empathy, and sometimes even helplessness. It was what we refer to as "stress" because the emotions often hit us wave-after-wave and changed frequently. As humans, we aren't equipped to handle them without some sense of lost control at one point or another. Regaining your footing is sometimes easier said than done. Friends and family are the ones we count on to toss out a life preserver during these times. They are without a doubt our anchors.

These waves of emotions are something we are lucky enough to have in our time here on Earth. And they truly are "waves" in that each emotion carries you to the next. It's a type of progression we should embrace. If you try and skip past those transition emotions, they inevitably come back and sweep you over every time...right at the knees. And then you risk the undertow. Never a good idea.

Riding and navigating through these waves can be a tricky business if you aren't paying attention. We go through our lives trying to learn when to relax and just let the waves crash into us and when it's time to launch ourselves into the air and dive into them head first. Both can be scary. Both require faith. Good timing is key, but because we aren't perfect creatures...it takes forgiveness. It takes encouragement. It takes some gentle hand-holding sometimes.

You never know when a wave can overtake you and you are desperately reaching up for someone to grab on to. Were you there when they reached their hand up to you?

We all know God works in mysterious ways and I've never been more certain or felt closer to Him and the fact Heaven must be amazing as I have been these past few months. Clay gave D, myself and some close friends a peek inside his eternal world before he journeyed into it. How many people get that opportunity? How often does that really happen where you get to see and experience that? I can't even begin to describe the waves of emotion I felt while he talked to me and others about what he was seeing.

Maybe these types of waves scare people, but I was calmed and excited at the same time to be riding them. Obviously I was sad knowing we were going to miss him terribly, but amazed and literally surrounded with an all-consuming sea of calm and clarity. Like Ben said, "Papa GETS to be in Heaven." True. So true.

Here's to catching a wave and not letting go.

Oh Well

Two days people...TWO DAYS is all I lasted on the low-carb diet. Am I a quitter or being true to what my body craves? It's not that I even eat a lot of junk. I just gotta be able to have a piece of bread, fresh veggies and the like.

Plus...It made me c-r-a-n-k-y!

I literally felt like a part of me had been robbed of something natural. Is that ridiculous?! Surely I can lose weight and still eat reasonable carbs. I've done it before.

Being "competitive" though, it's not sitting well. Not competitive against anyone else in this...just myself! Yep...that's me.

For the sake of my family and friends...I'm going to find something else. What ever happened to healthy eating and exercise?

I'm reaching for reason.

I'm a Carb Girl

In an ongoing effort to shed some pounds, I've now joined Doug on this stupid low-carb diet. Why "stupid" you ask? Because I'm one day in and very grumpy, that's why. I was actually very satisfied by the hot and spicy pork rinds I got to eat earlier. Satisfied because I was dying for something crunchy. I don't know that I've ever eaten pork rinds before in my life. If so, I know I've never enjoyed them as much as I did today. ::::sigh::::

I am a carb girl.

Always have been. This is hard, but because I've seen the results before on Doug, I'm going to give it a try. Also, I'm all for trying new things at this point so what's the big deal? I can do this. I'm an extremely stubborn person. See how I'm talking myself into this?

I started my "get fit" proclamation a couple weeks ago. But due to the schedule we've had with Doug's sweet dad and his passing away, I haven't been good at exercising. So, I'm adding this to it.

Everyone has their own thing they do as far as meal plans, I know that. I've actually done another "diet" before incorporating carbs and protein, but really need to be doing a more intense and consistent workout with that one. For now, I'm doing this. Hopefully, I'll get my workout on schedule and start weaning off the "no carb" portion of this diet! I'm giving it my best shot.

At least I'm doing it with someone. Makes it easier.

Hey...what are you eating over there, D?