Robots and Hamsters Have More Fun

Today at school, the Specials group (PE, Art, Music, Computers) had their annual Sock Hop celebration for the students. It's just a fun way to celebrate the last 6 weeks of school and the kids love it. They dress in their poodle skirts, folded up jeans, white t-shirts, girls have high ponytails with ribbons, boys slick back their hair. You can imagine.

So Shelby wears her jeans, white shirt, cute ponytail with blue ribbon. Ben...well...didn't want to dress up. Again. He never has and I don't know why, but I don't want to 'force' him to do it so there it is.

Regardless, they get in the car and start talking about who won the dance contest and best costume in each grade level. When Shelby announced her friend won for Best Dancer in 1st grade, Ben said a girl won in 4th grade also. Then....


"Can you believe a girl won best dancer? What's with that?"

"Ummm...what's wrong with a girl winning?"

"Because! All the boys did the best moves!"

"Like what?!"

"We did the robot, the science dance, the hamster dance..."

"Are you serious? And you still didn't win?!"

"Why? What's wrong with those dances?"

"Well...they aren't the ones they did at sock hops!"

"What did they do then?"

< I demonstrate The Twist >

"Why do people keep doing that? That's not right...it's not dancing... . THIS is dancing." And breaks into the robot. Wow...


And now I know why - and am thankful for the fact - he doesn't dress up for this every year. He'd probably go dressed like one of the soldiers from Halo or Call of Duty doing the robot dance. But having a great time! Go Ben! Go Ben!

Passing the Muddy Torch

You may see a girl playing in the mud. I see me as a child. I see her creative wheels starting to churn. I see her doing just what I used to do when I was her age. So when I went outside today and saw her making quite the mess in some dirt that has desperately been beckoning the grass to head south and creep into its vicinity...my first instinct was to ask her to stop making the mess. Thankfully (**thankfully**) I didn't.

Instead I ran inside and got my camera. I know. Shocking. I do tend to take a lot of pictures.

She asked why I was taking a picture of her playing in the mud. It seemed a bit of an ordinary moment to her, I guess. When I told her, "Because I used to do the exact same thing when I was your age" she replied, "Ah-ha! So it's NOT my fault! YOU made me do it! You passed it on to me!"

Indeed I did. I used to carve out paths in my mom's garden on a daily basis, then fill them with water. Then I'd get pieces of bark and shells from the pecan tree lurking over my head and float them down the path. See...I was creating the log ride at Six Flags. Then I'd go on to make an entire water park. Yes. All in the mud. In my mom's garden that she worked so hard on. And she never, ever told me to stop. She always came out and watched and asked questions. She *always* made me feel important and worth her time. She made time for me.

Hopefully I'll pass on more positive than negative traits and interests to this precocious little girl. I know I'm not the perfect woman (is there one?), but I do love my family with all my heart. Hopefully I'll pass that down to her, as well.

She is definitely one to make her own path, to a degree anyway. But just like her mom, she needs some attention every now and then (who me?!) and needs to hear she is loved. I tell her every day just how much she means to me to fill her sweet little heart. And right now, unfortunately, we are going through a bit of a selfish stage. She wants the world to revolve around her. I'm assured by the majority of my friends this is, in fact, a stage - but it may get worse before it gets better. Pray for me. :-) And her. We've had quite a few 'come-to-Jesus' talks.

One friend said, "Just wait until she starts slamming the door in your face and telling you she hates you." Ummmmm...no. That will NOT be good. Thanks to another friend of mine long ago who passed on some creative parenting tips I will not soon forget.

Slam the door? Fine. The door becomes mine and gets put in the garage until you learn manners. Leave your things lying around the house? That's cool. I'll put them on a table in the garage and you can purchase them back in the order they were picked up, not the order in which you prefer to have them. And you will purchase them back with your allowance.

I swear I wish she'd written a book of all the things she did. They were classic. Problem is she would tell us all this at Bunko when we were invariably drinking! These two I remembered though.

Anyway, point is I see some of me in my Belle and it reminds me again I need to be on my best behavior. The whole 'monkey-see; monkey-do' thing. I'm partly responsible for the adult she will become and what she will consider interesting and important. Please, God, help me! :-)

And her. xoxo

ME - The Human Mood Ring

If I ever doubted it before, it's official now...I'm not an I-don't-care-even-if-I'm-just-acting person. I'm very much a wear-my-feelings-and-heart-on-my-sleeve person. This may make me bad at poker and especially bad at hiding what's going on with me, but so be it. It's who I am. And you know what, I'm not that bad. In fact, I've grown to like myself.

I do not like to be ignored. I repeat. I do not like to be ignored. And I guess since the I-don't-care attitude is a form of ignoring to me, it's just not in my makeup to do it. I know I shouldn't let my buttons be pushed that easlily. I guess I just like knowing where I stand and therefore, let people know where they do. Even when they could care less. I get that.

I'm me. I've changed for the better, for the most part, recently. But I guess this is something that is either going to take time or won't change. I'm like a giant human mood ring. You can just look at me and tell what I'm feeling most of the time. It could be worse. I know...it could be better too, but we can't all be alike and I stick to my theory that there are people out there who are comfortable (and even have fun with...which I admire to a degree) with 'the attitude' and pushing people's buttons. I do like a challenge, always have, so people like me - who have plenty of buttons to push - are filling the would-be void in the universe with our neon buttons. You're welcome. And I'll admit, sometimes it's fun having my buttons pushed. I love joking around. Othertimes, I just need to know I matter in this world (yes a very girl thing to say, right?!). Simple, no? Simple, yes.

You will always know where you stand with me. You will always have an ear or shoulder with me. If something is bothering me, chances are you will know **exactly** what it is without having to ask, because I'll spill it before you have the chance to question me! Okay...unless it's entirely too personal, then you will have no idea. :-) I mean really. Mind your own business. hahaha

Just Because...

Just a little something to start Monday off - new music (at least to me). Heard it this morning on my "Coffeehouse Rock" station on Direct TV. Used to be Sirius Radio or something, but now it's Sonic? Who knows...regardless...enjoy some Coldplay.

C'est la vie

I'm just not real good at some things. Okay. I'm not real good at lots of things. For instance, I know I can't decorate a cake like Duff from Ace of Cakes. I can't ice sculpt (though I've never tried, so really...that one's up in the air). And I can't seem to stop letting certain people push my buttons. Only the last item is the one bothering me at the moment.

I constantly (seriously...) tell Ben, "Quit letting her (yes...Belle) push your buttons! Just ignore her!" Why can't I grasp that concept?

As I'm in the middle of said buttons being pushed, there is something in the very, back, far reaches of my mind going, "Is there more to this? Am I missing something?" So, invariably, I question it.

Stupid. No?

Stupid. Yes.

I don't like things unsettled. Never have. I like to talk things out. Girl + Scorpio = Talkie, talkie, feelings, feelings. I like things all out in the open. Irritating to those who could care less if things are here, there or everywhere. So, how do I combat this? How do you adopt that 'I-don't-give-a-crap' attitude? Or, is this an attitude I really want to adopt? If we were all like that ('I-don't-care-people'), what would life be like? Maybe the fact that some of us have buttons and others are there to do the pushing is one of the the things that equals-out the universe.

I don't know. But, I do know I need to get at least a little more 'whatever'. Wish me luck.

Life is Not a Snapshot

Let's get right to it, shall we? I have numerous friends who are going through some pretty stressful situations. As such, and being that I love them dearly AND the fact they have all been there for me at one time or another...I want to help them, but don't know how.

So I turn to the only thing that gets me through. Yep...gonna lay some religion on ya!

First let me say right upfront I do not even pretend to be able to quote various verses of scripture at the drop of a hat or anything like that. I have better memory when it comes to singing the Schoolhouse Rocks song about the Preamble or Conjunction Junction. Nonetheless, I DO know who is in charge of my life (after a lifelong attempt of trying to hold onto the reigns myself) so I DO feel 'qualified', for lack of a better word, to remind you of who is also in charge of **your** life. That's right. I'm talking to you. All of you. :-) It's stuff you already know, but has apparently been suffocated by self-doubt and fear. I've been there. We all have. I still happens to me on certain days.

I've always said and meant that I believe in God. It's easy to say it. However, seems I've always picked what He was in charge of. I think I took for granted all the ordinary miracle things He put in my life. Yes, I was thankful for His role, but I never really gave him credit for all that must have gone into the extravagant planning on His end to make it all so wonderful. It was the times when I started slipping down the mountain with no safety rope in sight that He would be the first one I turned to yelling, "Help me! Where are you?!". Sufficed to say, you can't just pick and choose when you believe. Either you do or you don't.

Next point: You also can't say you believe in One and not the other. That's right. I'm talking about Satan. You can't believe in God without believing in Satan. When we go through these challenges in life, he is always (**always**) there to make them seem either bigger than they are OR call us failures just by having these challenges. This being tells us we have no chance of overcoming said challenges and that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Oftentimes he offers us "outs" by way of questionable options we otherwise wouldn't consider if our head were focused on what is true and real. He reminds us of all the times we've failed before and brings our self-confidence to all-time lows. He may even tell us that it's ridiculous to turn to God. "People will think you are some 'Jesus-freak' if you talk about believing or turn to Him!" he says.

That is NOT anything else but the voice of Satan. And he is strong. And often comes in the form of very appealing choices. So spotting him isn't always easy...I know. He gets the better of me on more occassions than I care to admit. Denying these challenges or being afraid to confront them gives the power to the wrong one. I totally believe that. Not ONLY that, I believe the power grows and becomes even more overwhelming for us to deal with. Whew...sorry to get all deep and serious. (I warned you I was going to get 'all religious' on you!).

Funny thing though...as soon as I turn to the thing that always has a way of changing my mood, he is gone and hope always returns. My faith in myself returns. All by way of music. It provides the words and outlooks I'm unable to come up with when my character is being attacked and poor choices are being offered.

There's a song in particular that has perfect words for my friends right now who are struggling with decisions and detours in their lives. I know it is so difficult to see all the branches reaching out to you when you are being swallowed by your quicksand of challenges. But they are there. It's your choice to put the power and control right back where it should be. And maybe it's just by listening to some music that reminds you...you are NOT alone. You WILL get through this. You are MUCH stronger than you ever thought possible. Sometimes the blindfold of faith is the only thing that gets us through. It stops you from giving up when you can go much further than you imagined. I know.
Example? Well okay. There's a couple lines in this particular song (see bottom of post) that say:

If there’s a God who loves you, where is He now?

Maybe there are things you can’t see

And all those things are happening

To bring a better ending .

One of my personal proofs: We have had five miscarriages throughout our years together. The pain, both physical and emotional, that came with those seemed unbearable at the time. I couldn't imagine why I was having to go through this. And while I still do not understand, I have proof in the outcome of His overall plan with Ben and Shelby. My unanswered prayers gave us Ben and Shelby. They bring light to every day of my life and I can't imagine it without them. And really the prayers weren't unanswered. They were in the works. And oh what works He produced!

Another way of looking at it is He does NOT take shortcuts. We are very meticulous creatures, us humans. We take a lot of attention to detail. No way on earth are things going to be a cakewalk all the time. If you have seen that show "Life" that's on the Discovery Channel you know what I mean. There are so many lifeforms out there He created that are simply amazing to watch and that operate and the most intricate and precise ways. I can't tell you how many times while watching we've said, "How did that happen? How'd it do that?!" It's a reminder of His all-encompassing power to do make what seems to us to be impossible...very, very possible.

So He is still with you. He is working on you and your prayers. Unanswered prayers are sometimes the best gift. And some prayers just require more prep work to get them just right in the end. Your most valuable gifts are right in front of you so focus on them.

I know there have been times where I have been so scared of the outcome of various circumstances. "But if that happens, then I won't be able to...", etc... . It's this leap of faith by which I dare to see myself on the other side of these challenges. This time is just a snapshot. There are so many more to add to the album of your life.

None of us knows what is in store. But, I DO know that the negative voice inside our heads needs to be muted. It is trying to bring us further down. Don't let it. Put on some music. Write yourself some sticky notes and put them on your mirror or steering wheel to read every morning that remind you this is just the dark before the morning.

This is the only 'decent' video of the song I was referring to that I could find. It's not great, but the song is.



Click here to hear the background story on the making of this song..

Always remember and never forget: "Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.”

It's a Fine Line...But Momma Bears Draw It

As I'm attempting to comb through all the knotted-up nests in Shelby's hair the other night after her shower, I notice a small bruise on her back. Up by her left shoulder. Given I still recognize every new mark on my kids and this one I had not seen before, I ask where it came from. She stiffens up and says, very unbelieveably, "I don't know."

After a little prodding, she breaks down and tells me one of the girls in school did it. She was afraid to tell me because she had gotten in trouble the week before and I had grounded her. She was disrespectful and in this house, that's a no-no and gets a consequence. But she didn't want to get in trouble again. "For what? She hit you...right?"

Thing is, she was afraid to tell me because after the girl hit her ('clawed' her as Shelby put it and being that there was also a little cut in the middle of the bruise, I tend to believe it) Belle didn't take too kindly to that and kicked the other little girl. She had attended a couple karate/self-defense classes recently and apparently decided she would incorporate that knowledge into, well, defending herself.

Through her tears she claimed, "You told me it was okay to hit someone if they hit me!". Ummmmm. I thought about this. Doesn't sound like my exact words, but does sound like something I believe. I reminded her that what I actually said was the only time it was okay to be physical with someone is when you are defending yourself. "That's what I was doing." Indeed it was.

Nonetheless, being the guilt-ridden mom I am, I felt horrible my daughter felt she couldn't come to me. Actually, the first thing I felt was, "Is this really the way it all went down? What did you do?" and after some research, I'm convinced it IS in fact the way it went down.

Thing is, school/district policy is that no matter who starts it, if you get physical...both parties get punished. I understand there has to be rules. D and I both support our kids if they feel they ever have to defend themselves. **Especially** if someone is hitting them. On school grounds or not. I realize it's a fine line. I would never encourage my kids to 'fight'. But defending themselves is a whole other matter. She had a bruise for cryin' out loud! So in this case, this Momma Bear says, "I don't think so! You let her know you are NOT a punching bag!"

I informed certain administrators at school that if our kids are attacked physically, we support them defending themselves. We don't encourage them to fight, let's get that straight.

So if you see my blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl sitting in the prinicipals office anytime...know she's one little girl who isn't going to sit there and 'take it' (if that is in fact why she's there! hahaha!). And I say, good for her. Likewise, we have reminded them, if you ever start something...expect the other person to come back atcha! I wouldn't expect any less of them.

A Soundtrack to My Dream

The scene unfolds as it always done. Thursday evening. Ben's baseball practice. Get it car and the Bunny requests some "pump-up" music. Since he dropped his iTouch in his cereal bowl this morning (no...seriously) it's is in a bag of rice trying to pull all the moisture out and therefore, out of commission.

Enter mom's iPhone. "How about 'Boom Boom Pow'?" he asks. So we listen to it.

After it's over, he can't think of another request. I know he likes Rob Thomas so I put it on Pandora to hear Rob Thomas Radio since I've apparently not added Rob Thomas to my playlist on my phone yet. That's another story.

Instead of Rob Thomas though, it plays a song by Train. A fantastic song. A song that reminded me of a dream I had the other night and brought the memory of it right back to the surface and gave me chills. I've never heard this song before. Ever. But it's as if it was made for the soundtrack to that dream. It's not a dream I want to have again or want to even get into because, yes - it will make me cry. (I know...shocking.).

Ben exits the car with the following request, "Hey mom...will you put that on my iTouch?". Absolutely. Mine too.

I Can See It

I love Springtime. LOVE IT! I've mentioned before that since moving my 'office' back to the kitchen nook, I get to see the climbing miniature roses in our backyard that are, simply put, spectacular (see left). Belle and I clipped some last night and put them in a couple vases in the house. It's perfectly wonderful to me when she gets an I'm-so-happy-I-could-burst face just from doing simple, ordinary things like that. She came around the corner to show her daddy and her face was ALL lit up. Yep...little things. Ahhhhhh.

Back to the backyard. I've got a vision going in my head about spending more time back there. It really is pretty. I took some 'before' pictures this evening so I'd have something to go back and compare it to after I do the remodel. I LOVE to arrange, re-arrange, decorate, you name it. I like to set a mood. An ambiance. Yes...the Feng Shui that creates good chi. Don't underestimate it.

I see good times back here. I do. I LOVE being outside and things are changing in this backyard. This little piece of land is determined to have fun with my family and I'm determined to oblige.

For instance, this spot over here in the corner is changing. The table that sits there isn't being used, so it's going out to a friend's new lake house where it will *definitely* be put to good use. So the outdoor furniture (small couch, two chairs, tables, chiminia) will all create a new space. A space where I can sit and watch my kids play because they are BIG TIME outdoor kids (Ben has forgotten how to be, but I'll channel that back). I can have a cold beverage while reading, talking, relaxing, you name it.

Here's the 'before':

Something else I've got to channel...my charcoal grilling skills. Gas - I'm a pro at. Charcoal - well I am definitely getting the hang of it.

Here's to a fantastic Spring and Summer. Bring it.



First order of business...KILL DA ANTS.

In closing...'scoffing' at me visualizing good times with my family in the backyard so much that I'd write a post on my blog about it? That's fine. 'Think positive'...right? That is exactly what I'm doing. So THERE! Got a comment? Didn't think so...:-).

Who? Why? What? How?

It didn't take me too long this morning to realize I was going to get ZERO work done unless I found my child, who is home from school today 'sick', something to do. Ben woke up with a really sore throat and cough and it's unheard of for him to ask to stay home. Seriously. The kid likes school. So, since he doesn't have a fever and not bed-ridden, he's bored. And letting me know about it.

He's probably asked me 174 thousand questions...so far. Most having to do with his newfound interest: WWII. Specifically "D-Day".

Such as...

"Why did they name it Omaha Beach?"

"What about Normandy?"

"How far in advance did they plan the attack?"

"Why do we have wars when people can talk?" (oooohh....he said a mouthful there!)
"Who invented the first cuss word and why?"


Oh boy...this is going to be a long day if I don't get him something to do. Off to Blockbuster.

We rent "The Longest Day". This should answer some questions AND entertain. Right?

No.

"Why is it just in black and white?"

"Who is she and why is she dressed like that? It's a war for cryin' out loud! Who wears a dress to ride a bike? And in a war? This isn't realistic."

"Why does he have all that money with him? Someone's gonna steal it."

"Did they use a green screen in this? They aren't really flying, are they? That's not cool."

"Can we just rent 'Saving Private Ryan' already?"


What have I done? Moreover...what will I do? Will I get work done today?

Sorry...HAD to document this first.

My inquisitive son...always questioning = always learning! Good job, Ben. Once again...proud of you.

Now quit asking me questions for JUST a little while! :-) xoxoxo

A Decade of The Bunny

Tomorrow, April 10, 2010, makes a decade God generously delivered to me the first of two of the most precious gifts I'd ever receive in my life...My Ben the Bunny, as we have affectionately called him since day one.

I was completely unprepared for him. While we had been trying for him for years, and four previous times thought we actually had him, I found was not equipped mentally for his arrival. My friend Ang told me at my shower that I still didn't believe I was going to have a baby and probably wouldn't until he was born and they handed him to me. She couldn't have been more right. Afterall, we had been given the hope four previous times, only to have it mercilessly snatched away. I was waiting for another cruel ending.

Instead, I got handed the most healthy, beautiful baby boy. And I had no idea what to do with him. I loved him instantly, don't get me wrong. I sincerely believe I was in shock that such a colossal dream had finally come true.

Over the past 10 years, I have learned so much from and because of this boy. As we get ready to celebrate his first decade on this earth, it takes my breath away that it's been that long. It's gone by too fast and I desperately want it to slow down. Why do the days seemingly go by so slow, but the years speed by like a blur? I just want to tie a lasso around time and secure it to a tree stump in a futile attempt to stall it.

He is the most compassionate person I've ever met. His capacity for love is overwhelming. His need for it is equally part of who he is.

Last night in bed, we were talking about the fact it's already been 10 years and how I couldn't believe it. He said, "Well, at least we have 10 more years. And 10 more after that. And after that!" I agreed and true to form, my sensitive son started envisioning the future. He asked, "You'll always be with me, right Mom?". I answered, "Of course! You're stuck with me!". Then out of the blue, he starts crying. When I asked why, he said, "I'll miss you when you're not. I don't ever want to be without you." I assured him I wasn't going anywhere and he said, "But that's God's decision, right?". I agreed it was, but that I'd had many talks with God and asked Him to let me at least be a Great Grandmother, so I planned on being around awhile. Trying to lighten his sweet soul, I started joking with him about what he and his friends had planned to do for his birthday (baseball game and sleepover). Being that he's also one of the most resiliant people I've ever met, he joined in and we found laughter.

But what he said touched me so deeply. My love for him runs through his veins and out his very breath, and I'm fulfilled beyond belief that he knows it and appreciates it. This kid STILL runs out to me after school and gives me a huge hug. In front of his friends and everything! In fact, his friends have been known to run with him and we all hug and crack up laughing. Someone please take a picture of this someday! I ask you...how lucky am I?!!

At least where our kids are concerned, you get what you give and we have always been very affectionate with both of them. Hugs. Kisses (regular, butterfly, eskimo, polar bear, funky...we've got a variety!). Hand-holding. Words. So they are, in turn, the same way.

Ben's wife and future kids are going to be incredibly blessed to have him. I know every day we are teaching him what kind of adult to be, whether we are trying to or not! And sometimes, I wish he weren't paying as close attention to me as he does because I make mistakes. But we talk (and I listen) a lot and I cherish it. That's all he really wants. Presence vs. presents. Okay...he wants those too! :-)

So, thank you God for my first decade with Ben. PLEASE find a way to slow time a little. Every single day I have with this soul is precious. I can't remember life without him and can't imagine how empty it would be if I hadn't been somehow trusted with this little piece of heaven here on earth. He is a glimpse of what you have in store and I can't fathom what I did to deserve him.

Happy 10th Birthday, Ben the Bunny. I love you more than you will ever know.

xoxoxo, Mommy

Relocating for Love

Short break in my work schedule to show why I've had to move my 'work station' back to the kitchen table vs. the study...

My sweet 'little' man Duke. As his leg gets worse and he can't walk on the *$(#&% hardwoods that make up the *entire* first floor of this house, he is literally stuck in one room. The living room. I'm sure he feels like a Shamu trapped in a fishbowl and I hate it for him.

He's anxious and scared about his limited access, as he is very used to following me around. Everywhere. But these days, his fear outweighs his desire to be near me so he doesn't dare walk on the wood floors to get to me in the study. To him, the hardwoods might as well be hot coals. As his strength in his leg evaporates, so does his courage and it is heartbreaking to watch. This animal is NOT accustomed to not venturing where he so chooses. So what does he do? He cries. And 'talks'. Non-stop.

Whenever I come around the corner to try and quiet him, he ducks his head down as if he's embarrassed and wags his little nub of a tail.

So...I relocated back to the kitchen table and reclaimed it as my home office (sorry family). My back is aching from leaning over and not being able to sit up straight, but I'm enjoying the scenery via the bay windows that make up the walls of my once-again that Spring has so generously delivered to the back yard and am satisfied knowing I'm easing my Duke's mind. My love for him is greater than my need for a comfortable chair. He's worth it.

And just so you don't think he's entirely down-and-out. A couple times a day he acts like a teenager and invites me to join him in the backyard to play. Of course, I oblige him every time knowing one day, probably all too soon, I won't be able to and will wish I had done it when I had the chance. I knowlingly don't do regret well, so we play until he poops out. Every time. His mind is still fully intact, just not the nerves down his back, left leg and he just doesn't understand. Part of the reason I get the invitations, I'm sure, is after playing he always gets a back and leg massage. Yep...my massages are famous and just because he's a dog (shhhhh...he doesn't know that) he doesn't get skipped over.

I love you big man! Always.

Happy Easter 2010

Easter Sunday 2010. While I may not be as good at attending church like I should, and want to, I do NOT miss Christmas or Easter services.

This year proved to be an exception.

I got sick last night. The *worst* kind of sick for me...nausea. So I was not able to make it to this Sunday's Easter Service.

D took the kids and while I was so thankful at least they were going, I felt so incredibly excluded. Why? Because on this weekend, of all weekends, when we should feel the most gratitude for everything we have in this world...I didn't get to go celebrate for THE thing I am MOST grateful for. My family.

I DID start feeling better and we DID spend the day together, but I really missed not being able to go with them this morning.

Do they feel as lucky for the family I feel lucky for? Did they miss me being at church this morning? Was I way over-dramatizing this? Ya think?... . (Who me?!).

In all seriousness, I did miss going with them. So I did the next best thing. Found a church service on television and watched it and opened my mind and ears to the message He wanted me to hear.

It was on encouragement. He said of all the things that have ever happened in this world, what could be more encouraging than the fact He already erased all our sins by His act. Also, more encouragement...He actually rose from the dead. Not as a ghost. As HIM. He did everything He said He would do.

And here's the kicker...He did it all for us and that made me feel somehow silly for being pouty as my family walked out the door. Because they were coming back in about an hour. Many people have lost sight of what is important in their lives OR worse, place their importance on material things. The only thing we have to do is recognize these things and embrace them.
So, even though I started out this Easter Sunday selfishily pouting because I didn't get to go to church with my family, I'm ending it knowing I'm able to give Him back a gift today also.  I will be the best person, wife, mom, friend I can possibly be to these people He placed in my life because He trusted me to do just that when He blessed me with them. And I don't want to let Him, them OR myself, down by giving any less than I should. And when I need encouragement to do more, I'll remember what He did for us.
Happy Easter.

Tutto è possibile

The prelude to Easter weekend … Good Friday. Aside from what should be the very obvious meaning (aheemmm...a certain Someone going through a great deal for both you and I)...how is it good to you? Now, if you believe - if you really do believe (and this doesn't mean you are the type who walks around proclaiming it all the time, it means you believe) put the two [today + you] together. Meaning: What He went through today so we could have everything. Both here while we are on earth (He's given us numerous gifts beyond measure) and once we are done here on earth (eternity...again, pretty darn generous).

How did this originate in what probably seems like my crazy brain? I'm sitting here in between making calls for work and waiting for the eggs to get to room temperature in the other room so I can boil them. Odd combination isn’t it? Work. Eggs. Good Friday. And here’s when my brain went all ‘do-you-know-how-lucky-you-are?’ on me. Stay with me here...

My kiddos are out of school today, being that it’s Good Friday. They don’t have to go to childcare. Or a babysitter. They get to stay in their own home, play, color eggs and relax. All while I get to work. I did run to the store earlier to actually get the eggs to color and it’s because I have a job with a flexible schedule I got to do it. This job comes with extreme gratitude to someone who did not have to give it to me. It could have gone to anyone. But, because he’s a friend, he offered it to me (probably had something to do with the fact he knew I could do it also, but regardless…!).

I’ve worked hard at making sure my boss (which he hates me calling him) knows I’m thankful for the opportunity bestowed upon me (and as a result, my family). Then yesterday, something happened that made me realize once again, some people aren’t as thankful for what they have. They can be greedy. Selfish. And take advantage of gracious people who do nothing but treat them RIGHT.

Why? Because it’s easy to do. I’ve been there. I’ve taken advantage of people before (no, not on purpose) and it’s for some reason it's easy to do to those closest to us. They put up with a whole lot more than ‘mere’ acquaintances would. And as a result of them being close, it hurts them a lot more since the abusive behavior is coming from someone they care about. I think it almost becomes a pattern. "Well, if you're gonna put up with it, I'm gonna stay on this track."

While I’ve unfortunately taken advantage of people (as unintentional as it may have been), I’ve also been taken advantage of. For some reason, I get so mad when I see someone I care about being taken advantage of vs. when I have it happen to ME. Why is that? I look back on when I did it and it’s sickens me. Seriously. How could I have been so narcissistic that I didn’t notice? I try to be cognizant about this every day now.
So this Easter weekend reminds me tutto è possibile. It’s a time of rebirth, if you choose it. Of how anything at ALL is possible if you believe. It’s a Good Friday to remember that. Remind ourselves not to take advantage or take for granted what and who we have in our lives. And Who made it all possible in the first place. If you do believe then you can't deny He is watching and waiting for us to wake up and have gratitude. Take a good look (:::I say to myself:::) and say Thank You for helping me change for the better. It was a choice. Yes, anything is possible. Just look at me.

Love is...

Yes, second post of the day but I'm copying this from a friend (thanks NR) because I REALLY like it a-lotta-lot.


Love is a temporary madness.
It erupts like an earthquake
and then subsides.
And when it subsides
you have to make a decision.
You have to work out
whether your roots have become so entwined together
that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness,
it is not...
excitement,
it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion.
That is just being "in love"
which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
Love itself is what is left over
when being in love has burned away,
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Your mother and I had it,
we had roots that grew towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossom
had fallen from our branches
we found that we were one tree and not two.

~ Captain Corelli's Mandolin

Peace...Finally

What a 35 lap "Fun Run" at school does to a 6 year old (almost 7 year old!).

You did good my sweet Belle!

We'll forget about the little tantrum that happened just prior to this peaceful moment. :::sigh::::