Halloween Costumes 101

It being only two days before Halloween, and my need to go BACK to the make-shift "Spirit" Halloween store AGAIN (that only weeks ago was an abandoned Albertsons) and return my son's costume, I've had plenty of opportunity to see what is out there in the way of costumes this year. Especially the adult costumes that are plastered all of the walls of the place.

Who really wears this stuff? And more to the point...who FITS in it like the pictures on the packaging? And finally...these things cost a small fortune!

Case in point:

What the packaging sells...

What you're more likely to see...

And again...marketing promo image...

And, well....you know...

We've all seen someone wearing a costume they, well, shouldn't be wearing. Maybe I'm just too conservative (scared) to try something so daring. No, I don't have the body for it, but the vast number of women's costumes up at the costume store I went to are those of the sexy-type. Therefore: NOT MUCH CLOTH.

As we are in line to check out, Shelby says to me, "Momma...look at all the costumes they have for you!"

What were they? French Maid, Captain Booty Pirate (I kid you not), Head Nurse (with the halter top, of course), a Lipstick Referee (use your imagination here), and a plethora of kittens, witches, school girls and superheroes. ALL of which show your stomach and are tank tops at best.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying every costume has to cover your body from head-to-toe. But these were the ones they have posted larger than life along the walls of the place. THESE are the ones they are pushing. And I must say, those were the ones that were still on the shelf! I asked the guy, "Are you selling a lot of the sexy ones?" to which he replied laughingly, "Noooooo." Hmmmmmmm...maybe because it's in Allen. Maybe because too many of us wouldn't fit into them or look like the picture on the package. Who knows.

The best costumes I've seen are usually homemade and very unique. In college, some friends went as the Fruit of the Loom bunch. The girls who were the grapes had so many balloons around them and they all popped throughout the night. It was hilarious.

Years ago some friends husbands dressed as women and really played it up. Old-timey dresses, cigars, lipstick that was definitely not lined up with their lips. Memorable? Yes. Expensive? No.

But my favorite part about Halloween, without a doubt, is handing out the candy and seeing all the little cuties who are barely old enough to walk, more less even understand what Halloween is and wonder 'why in the world my parents are having me go to strangers doors and ask for candy?'. The look in their eyes is almost one of fear because you know every single person has said, "Oooooooh! Look at you! You are precious!" at every stop and for the life of them, they can't figure out why. They just know they're having a tough time walking, due to the costume, and are usually tired and bewildered. Nonetheless...I love it!

Most don't even say "Trick or treat" and the ones who do, don't say it correctly...making it even more adorable.

I remember dressing Ben and Shelby up when they were way too young to get what was going on. Ben's first costume was a big, furry bumble bee and the head part of it kept falling over his face. He went along with it though, being the agreeable kid he is.

So as Halloween approaches, I'm getting excited about seeing all the little trick-or-treaters and saying, "oooooooh!" and "you're so cute!" and thinking about when my little ones just went along for the walk through the neighborhood asking strangers for candy.

Good times.........

They All Go Pfffffflllllllllllttthhh!

I remember when my son was actually interested in what he was going to be for Halloween. Heck...I remember when he didn't even have a say in it at all and I picked out the costume and he gladly wore it and smiled for the pictures!

This year he initially told me he didn't want to trick-or-treat. He just wanted to jump out of the bushes and scare people. Hmmmmmmmmm...I get that coming from a 9 1/2 year old little man especially considering he's one of the only 9 1/2 olds I know who doesn't even like the candy. Then he got invited to a friend's birthday party which is ON Halloween. When I asked him what he wanted to dress up as, he replied, "I don't care." Really?

On it went for days. His Nana suggested a hobo and he was marginally okay with that. Then he said, "How about a gangster?"

Me: Ben...do you even know what a gangster is?

Ben: No.

Me: They kill people, basically.

Ben: Oh...then no. I don't want to be that.

After school today he announced he wants to be the grim reaper. Shelby asked what a grim reaper was and I told her that it's a fictional character who comes to get people when they die and then the fun began...

Belle: Nooooo. Jesus does that. He comes and gets you and takes you to Heaven.

Ben: Yes that's right. A grim reaper is just pretend. If you believe in Jesus you live forever anyway. And if you don't. Well....then you die forever.

Belle: Yep! If you don't believe then you're pfffffflllllllllllttthhhhhh!!!

Momma: Yep...pretty much.

Lovely...

Honestly Speaking

At the inspiration from another mom out there in the blogosphere, I'm to write about 10 honest things about me that aren't necessarily known to everyone. That's kind of hard since I'm a talker and don't hide a lot of things. I'm not real daring, so I don't have those kinds of secrets. I can definitely keep a secret, so my allegiance is intact there.

So I wonder....what might be something totally honest, yet not known about me?

Required some deep thought. Here's what I came up with.

1. I have always had a premonition I'll win the lottery. I have been very lucky in the past at winning random drawings, etc... . So why I don't just invest a dollar a week in the lottery is beyond me.


2. Over the past few years, my definition of 'friendship' has changed. I've generally gotten along better with men than women and we women wear each other out with drama, gossip and the need to fill quiet with excessive chatter (yes...I said it). Intentional or unintentional, all women possess this trait to some degree (yes...all of us). However, if you are my friend, you can count on loyalty from me. You may not know about it, and I can almost guaranty I won't discuss it (hence, the unnecessary drama and attempt to keep it at a minimum and possibly even spare your feelings) but I have my friends backs and expect nothing less from them. I've lost friends due to pettiness and frankly, I am better off. My chosens are still around, I love them and cherish them in my life and I make sure and let them know that.


3. I just recently realized a clarity in my life that was missing (and I didn't even know it...how in the world does that happen?) and it has totally enveloped me. And I like it. I'm positive, thankful and focused on the future.


4. Since I was Belle's age (6) I've been athletic. Years ago I started a workout class with one of my chosens and we rocked it. I've since fallen off the work-out wagon and am starting to feel the desire inside again to sweat. No telling how my clarity will peak when I do!


5. I no longer 'just' pray. I get on my knees, have a conversation and give it all I've got. In return, He gives it back. Thankfully.


6. If I ever had the chance to chase a tornado, I'd take it. Same thing if I ever had a chance to swim with Shamu...totally in! It's somewhat of a goal (swimming with Shamu). They are just such majestic creatures and I know I'll cry like a baby when I finally get the chance to swim with one (note the positive outlook that it WILL happen?!).


7. I've learned to be more vulnerable and lean on people I trust. I have always tried to be there for my loved ones, but haven't always made it easy for them to be there for me. I'm learning (and trying) to be better at this.


8. I have dreams I can fly. Not in a plane. I fly like Superman flies. I just take off and it's the most amazing experience. I actually feel it. Talk about empowering.


9. I'm more likely to remember a person's phone number than their name. I have no idea why, but that's how it has always been. Though my memory is definitely not as good as it used to be! Ahhhhhh Momnesia.


10. I believe in ghosts - or rather spirits. Not the bad, spooky ones. But spirits are all around us. It's the core of our being. Every house we've ever lived in since we got married has had spirits and we've just learned to accept them as part of our lives. Of course, now that you know this, you probably won't want to come in my house...right? Not to worry. They are nice spirits and even protective and funny.
    

Well, that's it. Those who know me well are sure to know some of these things. It was fun thinking of some honest traits about me and I'll admit, I had to get more cerebral than just name off things I've done or like/don't like, etc... .

So, go ahead. What are some honest things about you that people may not know? Do some soul searching.

And when you do, ask yourself: What is my most honest trait and how can I make my life better by realizing it, sharing it and making it grow?

R.I.P.

I'm saddened to report my ever-faithful Canon PowerShot (see previous post) digital camera has gone to camera heaven.

It lived a long life and helped me capture thousands of memories my kids will surely cherish.

It will definitely be missed.

Now....on to it's cousin...the Digital Rebel!

Was the mourning period not long enough? Oh well, it's not like I can afford to go get it right now anyway...

Quality vs. Quantity and the Mad Balancing Act

Day 17: Write about something you feel grateful for in your life today.

Plain and simple...Today I'm grateful I somehow got lucky enough to piece three jobs together to make one full-time paycheck.

Let me explain...

Our lovely economy has made it so people like me (in the marketing profession) are either not necessary budget items anymore or are primarily being outsourced. Therefore, companies are getting rid of their in-house marketing departments and when they find it IS needed...turn to consultants...like me. No benefits. No stock options. No office space. Less liability. All good for them. Not for us.

Companies who are slowly adding marketing back into their corporate structure know what they can get away with. We 'marketing people' are desperate for a job and therefore, supply-and-demand gives the advantage to the companies. In other words...we are not getting paid NEAR what we used to be or what our skills and experience is worth. Again...not cool.

So, back to the three jobs in one. I'm lucky enough to have made and kept contacts who have been wonderful enough to keep me employed. One is 'just' substituting at my kids school. It allows me to be part of their day-to-day world every now and then and they absolutely love it when they know I'm in the building. Check. Thankful to have it.

The other is the marketing consulting business I started six or so years ago for builders and developers which has now turned into a developer, river outfitter in south Texas and hobby shop in Plano. This part of my job allows for my creative outlet. Plus, these clients are also friends and I take their marketing very personally. So...Check. Thankful for this, too.

Finally, I just started a job that I've committed 20 hours a week to and it's looking more like it's going to be 30 hours a week. The great part of this is I already possess the skills to do this job (internet marketing mainly, along with some general real estate marketing) and it has benefits. Hard to find these days. And, the kicker...still allows me to work from home. Obviously, Major Check! Grateful for this.

However, all this put together means less time dedicated to my family. Or does it? Example: Ben had a play date yesterday after school so Shelby was here with 'nothing to do' and I had work I had to finish. I had two computers going in front of me and just looked at my sweet daughter on the couch. All I wanted to do was curl up with her.

Instead, what I did was work. Which was also for her. I will say I took 10-15 minutes to sit with her, read a new book she got, find out about her day (the parts that didn't get divulged on the way home), explained again what I was doing and found that worked. I realized as I sat back in front of my computers that what I was doing was also for her and was even teaching her something. Even though it wasn't nearly as fun as hugging her and laughing about the brainless Jonas Brothers episode that was on television. Nonetheless, it was important and responsible (yuck! Adult lingo!) and was going to have to be content that I had explained to her why I had to finish this and then she'd have my complete attention.

I told her when I was done I'd turn off my computers and that the attention I had been giving to work, would then go to her. Score.

She was fine with that. "Thanks Momma. I love you so much and I'll wait."

Ahhhhhhhh. So grateful. Even for the humdrum that's allowing me to be 'responsible'.

So, I'm grateful I'm able to see the forest for the trees, so to speak. I'm grateful I know just because I may have less hours in the day to dedicate to things I need to do at home, I also know I need to be more efficient with my time and make the time I do have more 'quality-oriented'.

I'm grateful my computer and phone have an off-switch so I'm able to flip the on-switch to my family. I'm learning balance.

A Perspective of Choice

Day 14: It’s been two weeks since you started The Gratitude Challenge. Write about how The Challenge has changed your perspective thus far.

You know, in all honesty, I've never been really good at self-reflection. Maybe it's because I don't think I'll like what I see when I look back or maybe I just prefer to look forward and learn from what was behind me.

This challenge, and my attempt to do whatever it said each day, has forced me to look at the good things in life on days I know I wouldn't have. As a result, I'm sure my days were a little brighter, my attitude was a little better and the people around me were thankfully not around a grump. Instead, they were around a person who was purposely looking for gratitude in things and people. It's difficult to be a grump when you are doing that!

And guess what? Faith grows. Belief grows. I grow.

It also made me to reflect on things my dad used to say to me whenever I would get down or feel like I was less-than-able to do something.

Things like: Can't Never Could. If you think you can or you think you can't...you're right. Why spend time worrying about something that may never happen? You'll have enough to worry about then ... if it even does.

In other words, if you believe...if you have faith...if you put forth the effort, the once 'impossible' things are now very possible.

I have always been a worrier for as long as I can remember. Actually, it's probably more like since 1984, when my mom died. Since then, I'm sure I put up some kind of wall to protect myself from the "in case" things in my life. If I'm a little more prepared for these situations (ie...if I develop them into happening in my mind and come up with a scenario of how I'd react) then I'll be more prepared. And smarter for having been prepared, right?

Wrong.

All that does is imagine a whole bunch of "if's" that may never come to fruition and cause the ones around you to suffer because you are in a defensive mindset.

As a society, we spend an inordinate amount of time worrying. Not that it doesn't have it's purpose. There are negative situations that require attention and our focus on them. Our brain alerts us to them and we deal. Imagining these possible situations on our own is when worrying crosses the line into what could end up as a self-fulfilling prophecy. Mmmmmm...no thanks.

So, this challenge has compelled me to try to see the good when it may not be in my nature (or mood) to do so. I want to be that person. I don't want to be naive or gullible, but I do want to look for the positive. Why? For one reason, I want my kids to live that way. And I want their kids to. And so on. I know the way I lead my life doesn't just affect me, it affects those around me. And while I am 42 years young, I in no way whatsoever think it's ever too late for a person to change and better themselves. It just takes a choice and decision to do so (as well as a lot of prayer, at least in my case!).

Given the choice, and I do believe it's a choice, to let the sun into my life or block it out...I chose the sun.

Some days I will NOT be in a great mood. But I will do my best to not let it affect those around me. One day I will be treated poorly by someone. But I will not assume they did it on purpose or would do it again. One day, I will not want to play "Panopoly" (Shelby's way of saying Monopoly!) or Wii with the kids, but I will turn off my computer, the television, or just let my phone ring and do it because I love them and need to find joy in their joys. One day, someone will talk ugly to me and I won't reciprocate. I'll hold my tongue. (I'll try!).

And...One day, I will probably unintentionally do these things to someone and will apologize... and hope and pray they forgive me like I'd try to forgive them.

Faith, forgiveness and gratitude go hand-in-hand. I'm very grateful to have the capacity for faith and to forgive. I'm just as grateful (if not more) that I have been forgiven and that people have had faith in me. Both scenarios have lifted my heart and made my walk, heart and thoughts lighter as a result.

I've always enjoyed looking at quotes from people. Seems they can put into words what I'm thinking and unable to convey. Lately, Albert Schweitzer's quotes have been on my radar and I found this one that I not only like, but it allows me to end this with some great words I emphatically believe. Enjoy.

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

Here's to relighting the flames in ourselves and others. And to the faith and gratitude that it can be done.

Truth or Dare

Day 12: Dare to see the glass half full today.

I've gotta be honest...today this puts the 'challenge' in 'Gratitude Challenge'. It is rather daring today.

How do you focus on the good, or what you hope and pray to be good, and ignore the bad? Does ignoring the bad mean you are suppressing reality or choosing not to harp on the negative?

Today, I can actually count my glass completely full if I put my kids in it. And everything that comes with them. They are my joy and I would do absolutely anything for them. Joy comes in different forms when dealing with kids. Some don't find it joyful at all (and hence...don't have kids!). I'm talking about their homework that has to be done, reading with them, playing board games, playing Wii, walking away from this computer and leaving my phone in the other room to give them 100% of me. Taking them to their practices, play dates, birthday parties, bath time (ughhh...for Belle it's a long, drawn-out process since she'd rather LIVE in the water!). All that 'boring' parent stuff I know I'm lucky to be able to do. Glass: Full.

All these things they need that can be time-consuming, take me away from my 'me-time' and all that other stuff that seems insignificant in comparison to them are the things I will NEVER have the opportunity to do again. I prayed for them, was given them and knew what all (okay, not everything!) I was in for when it came to committing to a lifetime of raising my kids. I cherish I get to see them every morning before and after school and that they come to me to do their homework. I'll take every day I have with them as a gift and that makes for a very full glass.

Through the Eyes of a Child

Day 11: Try to see the world through the eyes of a child. Think about the things you take for granted on a daily basis, and then express gratitude for everything down to the basic necessities that sustain your current life.

No, I have not stopped doing my Gratitude Challenge. The days where I haven't documented anything are the days that didn't require writing. Yes, I could have written about them, but I instead decided to just try and focus on them mentally (being they were "mental" challenges, and all!).

Today's challenge is pretty great. We could all use to look at the world through a child's eyes. Oh to have that vulnerability, sense of carelessness, wonderment at all the 'new' things observed and as my Belle would say, experiencing it all with "joy, joy, joy". They love totally and completely unconditionally. They give us their hearts and trust us implicitly with them.

Kids are able to do things with such enthusiasm. So many things are brand new to them and they are experiencing an incredible amount of 'firsts' in life. And let's face it, their responsibilities are limited at this point in their young lives and consequences come from mom and dad usually...people who love them unconditionally and have their best interests at heart! They don't have all those 'adult responsibilities' yet so it's logical to believe it is easier for them to live this way and operate their lives with such spontaneity. Could be.

Another great thing kids do is bounce back. They are so resilient. I am extremely grateful for that. As adults, we tend to hang onto our mistakes and re-live them over, and over, and over (see where this is going?) instead of saying, "That sucked. I won't do that again," and move forward and work hard at regaining our footing and dive right back into our life and the responsibilities we get with it. I know I beat myself up over past mistakes vs. forgiving myself and moving on. Kids watch us and learn by example. I've gotta make sure my kids are watching me take on my responsibilities like I hope they will when they are adults, friends, spouses and parents. Scary thought, I know...

There are plenty of people in the world who aren't lucky...yes I said lucky...enough to have responsibilities. Either they've been taken from them, they aren't free to experience them or they are unable (maybe due to health reasons) to take on their responsibilities. So yes, I'm even grateful that I have responsibilities.

I'm sure I take more for granted in my life than I could ever imagine to name. From my car that is paid for to the fact I have bread and lunch meat in the refrigerator. And hey, even for the refrigerator. But, my family tops the list for sure.

If I tried to make a list of things for which I'm grateful, I'd surely leave things off and the list itself would be verbose.

What I can tell you is the things that would come to mind first are the ones I touch, smell, taste, feel and hear on a daily basis. They're simple things.

The smell of my kids right after a bath.

The sight of them going to bed every night and waking up every morning.

The caress of a hand wrapped in mine letting me know, "I'm here".

The sound of my family's laughter bouncing off the walls.

A deep and true hug from someone who loves you completely and unconditionally.

Kisses.

The tingling I get when a prayer is answered.

The fact my kids have never known what it's like to be starving.

Yes, the things I'm grateful for most aren't really things at all. They are experiences, I suppose. I need to be better at experiencing things as 'firsts' again through my kid's eyes. To be able to look at their 'firsts' or new experiences with the same excitement they are. Their adventure should also be my adventure, to some degree. Not to take anything from them, but to explore and feel it with them. So many times, I see the look on their faces or hear the enthusiasm in their voices when they see, hear, feel or do something for the first time. I relish those times. But I almost want to get down on their level and feel child-like about it. Giddy almost. I need to work on that.

I wonder: Is it possible to live everyday through the eyes of a child while still finding "joy, joy, joy" in the fact we are lucky enough to have responsibilities?

A Winner For Sure

I thought I'd never see the day when my oldest was nervous about speaking. He has never...and I mean never...had a problem talking in front of people. Today...well...that changed.

Today at school they held elections for what they call "Pride Council". It's kind of what we used to call "Student Council" in-the-day. Turns out, most 4th grade classes only had a few running for positions and they elect two students to represent each class. In Ben's class though...every girl except one and three boys ran for the positions.

He was very serious about his speech and even his platform (how proud was I?! He talked about respecting and encouraging others, being proud to be at the school, how well he works with others, etc...). He had me write out what he wanted to say on index cards and he worked hard at reading it, while still looking up and making eye contact. ::::sniff, sniff:::: After his momma's heart speaking in front of crowds! :-)

I passed on all my secrets on how not to be nervous, including looking just above everyone's head, to the back of the class. It makes it look like you are making eye contact when you are actually too nervous to do so. I also told him about the ole' imagining everyone was in their underwear. He said he'd rather just imagine they had teddy bear bodies. Hey...whatever works for ya'.

They put off the speeches until after lunch, hoping one of the student's who was out would make it back by then, but he didn't. After he gave his speech, his sweet teacher let him come down and tell me how it went. He was happy with it and yet modest.

A couple of his classmates came by and told me, "Ben did so good!"

Win or lose this election, I'm just SOOO proud of my 9 year old being eager to get up in front of his peers, work at being prepared, talk about himself and why they should vote for him. That alone takes a lot of guts so I've already told him he's a winner for sure!

Geeeeeez I LOVE that kid!

And...did I mention he got straight A's on his report card. Sorry...proud momma here. :-)

Lookin' Good

Today was picture day at the kid's school and I let them pick out what they wanted to have their pictures made in.

Now, normally this might be an interesting experience to let a 9 year old boy pick out his clothes. Given he'd probably choose a t-shirt that he may have even picked up off the floor from the other day that didn't quite make it to the hamper.

Ben, however, has been a little more interested in his attire lately. Why? Not sure. Guess he's just growing up.

So he picked out some jeans (it was going to be cool outside today) and the black button-up shirt he wore to his PaPa's funeral 2 months ago. He loved the way he looked that day. Partly because he thought he looked just like his daddy. i.e. his hero.

Today after school we had the following conversation:

Ben: Mom. I really liked the way I looked today. These dark jeans and black shirt really look good on me.

Me: I agree totally. You look very handsome.

Ben: Yeah. Now all I gotta do is get healthier and build up some muscle.

Me: Ummmm...yeah. You could do that.

Ben: Yeah. I think I will.

Just the best darn boy in the world. Love him!!

Small Find or Great Fortune?

I found a brand new, bright and shiny, 2009 penny today that was heads-up. Great things coming my way, right?

I had no idea the design had changed. In fact, when I turned it over and saw a back I'd never seen before, I thought...hmmmmm...this looks like a U.S. penny. And though I never thought I'd say this about a penny, it's pretty.

Could be I think it's pretty because of my mindset when I found it. I needed something, an omen or a sign, to help boost my perspective and am thinking this penny might have been it. At least that's what I'm choosing to believe. Sometimes you just have to choose to believe.

I looked in the mirror this week and thought, "Sister...you are lookin' t-i-r-e-d." Yes, I've been working full-time out of the house this week and while that is partly because of it, it's not the only reason. I believe I can change this.

The biggest reason is that I haven't been taking care of myself. Mentally or physically. So, while in mental conversation with myself, I said, "No one, and I mean NO ONE, is going to take care of you but you. What are you thinking? You are a much stronger person than this. You know what you need to do." Obviously, there are people in this world who love me. But I gotta take care of me.

Why aren't I putting myself up there? Don't I deserve it? Don't I want my kids to do it for themselves when they are adults? Then shouldn't I be an example? The more I thought about it, the more aggravated I got with myself. Not a very respectful place to be.

Now...clarification: this doesn't mean I want to neglect others. That's ridiculous and selfish. I have a family. I know some people out there choose not to have kids because of all that comes with them ... responsibilities, homework, sports practices, playdates, doctor's appointments, i.e. less time for ME. Ludicrous. No, I'm here for them and that responsibility isn't a negative at all for me nor one I, in any way, wish to shun. I'm eternally grateful for it, actually. What it does mean is I need to be more thoughtful about me and what I need to do for me AND in turn, them.

I watch friends going through things right now you could not pay me a million dollars to experience and I think to myself, "I need to be more thankful for my life. Yes...my life, as stressful as it may be to me." Because I'm not guaranteed a tomorrow. My friends didn't choose the path they are on but they do choose the path of response in which they travel. They believe their attitude determines their future. They could sit and mope about the path they are on but they don't. Not even close to it. They are strong and I admire that. They choose to be strong, even when it's extremely difficult and they choose to take the path that is best for them and their families.

So yes, this penny I made the choice to pick up [that of course I believe fate put in front of me for reflection :-) ] also made me think of my mom who passed away 26 years ago yesterday. I thought of her all day yesterday. I don't know why the penny brought her to mind again, but it did.

Maybe I found it because it's a sign of good things to come when you least anticipate it. Maybe it's a sign of something beautiful to be found in something unexpected. Maybe my mom just wanted me to see the new penny design...nahhhh.

I know the reason why I'm choosing to believe I found it and that's all that matters.

So, to quote Demonsthenes (dubbed the greatest orator of Greece, thank you very much):
Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.

I'll take that. Makes sense...no?

Makes sense, yes.