Adult Admonition

As I'm sitting here tonight, worn out from a full day working at school, a cheer practice, grocery shopping, cooking dinner, cleaning the kitchen and doing laundry - and knowing full-well I've probably done no more than the rest of the moms out there...but tired nonetheless - I'm thankful I had the job to go to and will have it to go to at least the rest of the week, my mind turns to some of my sweet friends.

Times are definitely tough and more and more people are going back to work, selling their homes to scale down and just all-around trying to make ends meet a little tighter. Until you go through it, you don't get just how stressful it is and what an impact it makes on your life, relationships and even your kid's lives. While kids are very resilient once change happens, initially they are adverse to ANY modification to the system.

Many of my friends who watched us sell our home less than a year ago, downsize and set-out building a new foundation for our family are now looking at going through similar circumstances and coming to me to talk about how I handled it.

Just the other day, I was talking to a good friend who had just helped me pack my house only months ago. She informed me their house was now going on the market and she is understandably crushed at the thought of this change. What will happen? How will they adjust? Where will they go? It's scary. Not having your future plainly laid out in front when you have kiddos you are responsible for making sure feel secure can be nerve-racking, to say the least. Having neighbors and friends watch/judge/talk about it certainly doesn't help. Just seems to be part of living in the area we live in. Maybe it's that way everywhere, I don't know.

What I do know is I've surrounded myself with friends I completely trust and have culled the ones I don't. These types of life-changing circumstances have their way of making you reset both priorities and acquaintances. The small-minded gossiping that would have once bothered you is now nothing more than a annoying buzzing in your ear. More of a waste of time to listen to. What an alleviation of emotion!

We talked about how the house was just a house. Home is wherever their family is and she gets that. It's the unknown and I can totally relate. When your priority is the stable and loving upbringing of your kids, that is all that matters. Again...yes they are resilient, but when they are living the 'unknown' too, it's hard to avoid anxiety.

My only advice to her was to hold on tight to her family, because they all that really matters. As long as they are together, everything will turn out perfectly fine and this time in their lives will be a distant memory soon.

Having people look over your shoulder, stick their noses in your business and talk is simply a reality we have to deal with and an unfortunate nuisance...and I still deal with it. "When are you going to buy a house? Why are you renting? Why did you sell?". What gets me is when it gets back to our kids. When will 'adults' learn not to talk in front of their kids? As my friend Ang would say, "Interesting...".

Lessons to be learned around every corner I guess.

So here's to the continued schooling for adults:

We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.

I'm holding on to that and trying to be thankful for not just the good, but also the not-so-good.

It's a PowerShot, Baby

Gratitude Challenge Day 7: Take a picture of one thing, person, place or specific moment that makes you feel grateful. Share it with your social network. Everyone, meet my camera. My old, outdated, sometimes-doesn't-work, battery-lasts-15-pictures worth camera. Why on earth do I feel grateful for this thing? Because it took pictures of both of my kiddos when I brought them home from the hospital and every wonderful event after that. It is the reason they will have a ridiculous amount of photos to peruse through, laugh at and cry at when they get older. This camera is the reason MY grand kids will have photos of their parents, though rarely myself as I am always behind the lens. I joke and say they are going to wonder where I was during all these momentous events in their lives because I'm never in the photos! But that's okay...they are in them and that's what is important (though I'm betting they are going to want photos of their momma one day...I better fix that!).

It doesn't zoom well at all. Lately it needs a warm-up period as it has been getting lines across the screen (and therefore the picture) when I turn it on. But I'm so grateful I've had it and have tried to make the most of it. I'm not bad behind a camera, I must admit, so I've cherished being able to capture all the great events in our lives with this small instrument that will one-day be replaced with a bad a** Digital Canon Rebel! Until then, thank you my small Canon PowerShot. You've helped me chronicle my life.

Hi Dad, It's Me

Gratitude Challenge Day 6: Take a few minutes to call someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Tell them how much you appreciate them.

I had no problem thinking of the person I needed/wanted to call for this. While it's only been a little over a week since I talked to him, that's really much to long.

My dad took me on when my mom died (a couple weeks shy of my 16th birthday) and all that came with a teenage girl: I was selfish, mad at the world that I'd just lost my mom and most of all - lost.

Since then, he's always been a phone call away and always (always) does whatever he can to help me and my family. His response is invariably, "That's what I'm here for." Whenever I argue that point, feeling as if I might be taking advantage or asking too much, he replies, "Just wait until you are in my position for Ben and Shelby. This is what family does."

I was honored to let my dad know how grateful I am for him. When I told him about the Gratitude Challenge I was doing and that he was the person I wanted to thank today, he shrugged it off as if I just didn't need to do it. No, I didn't NEED to, but I sure WANTED to.

I love you, Daddy. (Been a long time since ya' heard that, huh?!) :-)

Just THAT good

You've heard his music, though you might not know the artist's name. Rob Thomas. Seems his music keeps entering my world. First through a song Ben liked and then they just kept comin'. He is awesome! So here is yet another song of his I JUST heard while watching Meet the Robinsons with my sick little one this week. I love it. The lyrics are beautiful. Enjoy...



Yep...he's just THAT good.

The Best Things in Life are FREE

Gratitude Challenge Day 5: Take five minutes to write about how grateful you are for all of the wonderful things that you currently have in your life. Don’t long for what you don’t possess—instead, take stock of all the blessings you already enjoy.
It seems to be coming back to the same thing: Family. Everything in my house could be gone tomorrow. I'd be sad at the things I couldn't necessarily replace (pictures, mementos, cherished gifts) but I'd go on with my life without them. My family can never be replaced. God put them in my life as a gift and I'm so extremely grateful for them I can't find the words. I hope they always know how much they mean to me and that there is nothing I wouldn't do for them.

I have some amazing friends who would do absolutely anything for me also. And they do. They help me when I need it...I don't have to ask. They let me talk, cry, share, laugh with them and I try to be there for them, as well. These are true friends. There is never any time between us for fighting or judging. They accept me for who I am...faults and all, as I do them. We recognize each other as people who are not perfect and mistakes will be made. They don't expect me to be perfect, nor do I of them. I trust them.

I'm thankful I'm healthy. This does not mean "fit" (uhh-hummmm!)...it means I'm not spending my days going to and from doctor appointments. So, could I be healthier? Of course! But the fact I'm otherwise okay...I'm extremely grateful for that.

Finally...my dogs. They are the BEST! They are a daily, living example of unconditional love. You will have to put me in a padded room when Duke goes to be with my mom in heaven. Though I KNOW he will be spoiled rotten there also because the person who thought he was the best dog in the world is there now preparing a place for him! :-) He will surely welcome my Duke home with open arms. However, I plan on him living forever. :-) Enough of that.

In summary...Take anything I've purchased and leave me with the things that were given to me and that I was fated to have in my life. Those things that are living and breathing. For those with hearts, I can not do without.

Day 4: Pulling the Positive out of the Negative

Day 4: Write a short message of thanks for some of the “negative” things in your life.

My response to today's challenge can be summed up in one word...WHAT?

This required more than a little thought. To be "thankful" for the negative would mean I appreciate it. Right? After much (much) reflection, I suppose I have either been through or been witness to some negative things in my life that have brought about a type of thankfulness or realization that I probably otherwise would not have had. Thanks to the person who helped me with today's challenge. :-) I was having a tough time coming up with this and am not too proud to accept help!

Starting with an event in my life that happened awhile back. It made me realize what type of person I want to be and what kind of life I want to lead. It made me change from the inside almost immediately and I'm still growing from it. It forced me to understand the depth of many emotions we possess, that the life you want is worth fighting for, that people are always going to be around to interfere with your life and that I have to take responsibility for my actions. Most importantly, it taught me about forgiveness and faith. Two things I will never be without again. The event doesn't matter to anyone but me so I won't get into details about it. I just know it was a major 'negative' and without it happening, I wouldn't be the person I am today and the person I know I will be in my future. That's the faith part. No one can derail me now. My eyes are wide open. And what an amazing view right under my nose.

Another would have to be all the 'cancer' I have seen in my life. I continue to watch loved ones be diagnosed and I absolutely hate it. It's a horrible (and that's putting it lightly) disease and I pray for a cure every day. The 'thankfulness' out of this is how I watch the spirit of these people and their loved ones FIGHT and never give up. When you are fighting for yourself, there's a sense of ownership. This doesn't make it less scary, but I would imagine you feel a sense of will, determination and even anger that you can only get when it's happening to YOU. But when it's happening to your child, I have a whole other sense of admiration. To quote a friend going through this fight with her child right now, "With all this said we are ready to shake it all off and FIGHT!!! That's what we do!" The thankfulness in this?? Tough to find except it turns me to the most important thing in life...family. These people probably have an even deeper appreciation for life and family going through what they are. None of us are guaranteed another day on this earth. 'Shaking it off' is our way of letting go of the past and heading to the future. If my friend dwelled on yesterday, she'd never be able to enjoy today and would never have the 'fight' in her to do it. And today, she has her family. And today, I'm thankful she shares her story with me to remind me what is really important and irreplaceable.

These negatives both deal with determination and appreciating today for what it is.

Yesterday's the past and tomorrow's the future. Today is a gift - which is why they call it the present.

Easier said than done? Well...I would have never known if I hadn't chosen to do it. These friends and loved ones would have never known either if they hadn't dug deep and clung to what's in front of them and never let go. They are some of my heroes. And I'm thankful for the negative brought to my attention and to those who are sharing their negatives with me. It gives me the opportunity to pray and be a part of their future, as well as mine.

Calamity = Collapse

First this...

Then this...

What IS that huge mess on the floor? That is about a million tiny little glass beads, scrap booking supplies and bottlecaps my bored-from-being-sick-all-week little girl did while I went to the store.

Apparently she was so upset after the calamity for fear mom was going to be very upset when she returned home and saw the mess...she fell asleep. Who can get mad at a face like that? Smart move, Belle.

It's All About Today

Day 3: Write about something you feel grateful for in your life today.

Those were the instructions at hand and I have literally thought about this ALL day. The good news about that is I focused on being grateful all day and had a tough time narrowing it down. The key word in the instructions is "today". So, while there are so many (obvious) things I'm grateful for everyday, I had to think about this a lot.

It kept going back to Belle and how she's been so sick and today was the day the doctor said if she still had a fever, they were going to run additional tests to see what else was going on with her. Had her swine flu spread to pneumonia? Would she have to go to the hospital? Things that run through a mom's mind when told "more tests". THANKFULLY, she had no fever at all today. So, obviously I am grateful for that.

But I tried to think of a bigger picture item that went along with it and finally - it came to me. Here is what I was grateful for today: The fact that I've had a job that allows me to work from home so I can be with my kids before and after school and during the day, when necessary. I get to ask about their day without feeling the rush of "gotta get dinner cooked, get homework done, get to practices, baths/showers...". No, instead, I've had the luxury of picking my kiddos up from school every day, hearing about their day on the way home (picking them up in the middle of the day if they are sick), making them a snack, hugging them immediately if they've had a bad day and all that goes along with the quality time you can never get back once they're older and the regret comes about not being there enough for them when they were 'babies'.

So, today, as the day came to a close and I rejoiced the fact Shelby's fever didn't return, I reflected on our last 5 days of snuggling on the couch with me trying to make her feel better and get rid of her fever, aches and pains. Those days are being sat on the shelf for now. Children grow up so fast. I feel like before too long they won't want to snuggle with me at all...sick or not! I know this is an "everyday" thing (stay-at-home-job...at least for now) vs. "today" but today it really hit home. It might not always be this way and I'm so extremely grateful it has been. When my kids are sick, I don't have to stress about a boss getting upset with me not being at my desk. All I have to stress about is how I can make them feel better. Not every mom is in a position to do this. I have been for awhile and for that...g-r-a-t-e-f-u-l.

I'm Grateful from A-to-Z

Day Two of The Gratitude Challenge should be interesting. The "challenge" is to use the alphabet to come up with things I'm grateful for. Hmmmm....this may prove more of a brain bruiser than I first thought. I'm really going to try to come up with some solid things here! I've gone through items I'm obviously thankful for and so many start with the same letter! How'd that happen?!

I've never been accused of being the deepest person in the world, so my answers will be simple I'm sure. Kind of like me. Easy to read.

Regardless...I am grateful for...

A - The wonderfully fresh air we had today that allowed me to open the windows and let the swine flu germs out of the house!
B - This is easy...Ben! My sweet, honest, loving, sensitive and literal son.
C - The sound a cricket makes. Reminds me of when I was little and we slept with the windows open.
D - My husband, Doug. I gave him my heart long ago and that's where I intend for it to stay.
E - My ears. Yes, my ears. I am so thankful I can hear all the lovely noises going on around me.
F - Forgiveness. It's the most releasing and loving thing you can give or get.
G - Laugh, but guacamole is something that is high on my list of happy things!
H - Hands-down this has to be hugs. A real and true hug is unbeatable and makes my heart smile.
I - The way the Christmas lights illuminate the neighborhood streets in December (and even November, in some cases).
J - Joy and pain. It's like sunshine and rain. Yes...from a song, but true nonetheless.
K - The kindess in the world. It just doesn't make the headlines as much as the...well...'unkindness' does.
L - The emotion of love. It beats logic every time.
M - That God blessed me to be a mother.
N - The night-time sky. It's a beautiful wonder to get lost in, think about life and dream.
O - I was there to witness my kids first time to see the ocean.
P - Promises. From the beginning of time; He made them to us and we make them to each other.
Q - The great questions my kids ask. Latest hum-dinger: Does your tongue keep growing, momma?
R - Rain. The sound of it. The smell of it. How without it, we wouldn't be here. It's essential.
S - Another no-brainer...Shelby. My inquisitive, stubborn, beautiful and oh-so fashion-minded daughter.
T - That there is still time to be the person I want to be.
U - U-turns. In the street. In life. Thank goodness they are available.
V - That I'm trying to be more vulnerable and less of a control freak. I can honestly say I'm making progress.
W - Words, words, words. Wish I knew more of them, but am blown away at how others use them.
X - The xceptional (I know, kinda cheating) way God answers prayers.
Z - The fact I don't require as many zzzzzz's when my kids are sick as I usually do.

So that's it. It took a lot longer than I thought it would. Not at all because I don't have a lot to be grateful for. I have tons. I'm just trying to be more aware of all of it and really think about life going on around me. I'm sure some people look at this challenge as pointless as they are already grateful. It's not that I haven't been grateful, I just haven't made it a priority to focus on it in my daily life in such an intentional manner. It's all about growing and becoming a person I'm proud of. Who my family is proud of.

I'm by no means perfect...and never will be. I'm not closed-minded to the thought of this waking up that part of my brain that says, "I've so enjoyed the time I've spent with my daughter these past few days," that she's been sick with the swine flu. See...I insisted on looking at the silver lining. I'm all about expecting the unexpected. But just like my friend fate...you have to allow it to happen.

Here's to always insisting on the silver lining.

Every Time

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my Belle has been sick (swine flu...or as she refers to it...the "slime" flu). Today she turned a corner and started feeling better. We've basically had the last four days together just spending some quality mommy/daughter time with each other and she's gotten quite attached. We've been doing crafts, watching movies, basically whatever she wants... . You know when your little ones are sick, they just want to cuddle. I'm very thankful for that. When she's well, Shelby usually doesn't sit still long enough to let me hold her for very long. Ben has always been my long-term snuggle buddy.

So today, she was laying on the couch and I was beside her. I told her I'd be right back and she grabbed me and said, "Noooooooo. I'll miss you."

"I've just got to go put the sheets in the dryer, baby. I'll be right back."

Reluctantly she released me then got the biggest smile on her face. She had come up with a grand plan.

"Okay momma, you can go. BUT every time you leave me, you HAVE to give me a hug."

No problem there. I'll always be available for that.

Quest for an Attitude of Gratitude: Day One

Well here I am at the starting line of this 21-day marathon called The Gratitude Challenge. It was brought to my attention by a friend, who also admitted normally deleting this type of message. 'Something' called to her the same way it did me.

On this first day, I'm to sign the contract commiting to take note and give thanks for the next 21 days. As well as look at why I accepted this challenge and what I hope to achieve from it.

And on that note, I'm afraid my answers will be fairly broad.

I accepted it because I believe in fate. Yes, fate. I believe it comes to us in many forms, you just have to be open to it. Like many people in the world, I've had a lot of stressful events happen in my life this past year. When they happen back-to-back-to-back, you can't help but notice, "Hey there's a trend going on here. And it ain't a good one. Why? What did I do to deserve this?" That's right. Otherwise known as the Pity Party. When I point out that I KNOW there are people who are so worse off than me, my friends sweetly respond that yes, there are people going through worse circumstances but these are MY circumstances. This is MY world and my issues are very real.

While I can't argue that, I can't allow it bog me down either. I can't be waiting for the next shoe to drop. What if it never does and I've spent all this energy waiting for the 'bad'? We need to exercise faith a lot more than we do. I saw it as fate because this challenge came to me as I was watching my sweet little girl fight back a high fever from the swine flu she contracted and I thought, "When are we gonna catch a break?" She's going to be fine, by the way. No, her being sick was not the worst thing in the world (though I hate when my babies are sick). It just seemed like another dark cloud in a long line of tropical depressions that have blown over our lives. So I saw this challenge as somewhat of a gift from my good friend 'Fate'. Choosing to see the silver lining, as the video mentioned. Who can't use that? So in part, my answer to 'why' I'm doing this is more an answer of, 'why not'. What have I got to lose?(except some anxiety!).

I'm hoping to achieve many things out of this. Less stress, a happier heart, my kids watching me "walk-the-walk" of how both the choices we make and the way we view life affects others. To be able to look at the tough times that come at us as learning curves. We are destined to repeat or get caught in these tough times if we don't face them head-on and deal with them. I want to deal with them positively. I don't want to bury my head in the sand and hope they will go away or be upset for too long that life has thrown me yet another curve ball. I want my kids to see they can face their obstacles with courage and dignity and still know they have more to be grateful for than to be upset about. Tough times are a part of life. Everyone's life. How we deal with them is our choice.

Getting caught up in all the negativity going on in our lives (and the world) is such an easy thing to do. It can be difficult to get out from under the shadow of it once it's smothered us in its suffocating grip. This negative attitude can become a habit. A bad habit. It can happen to anyone. Some people don't even realize they're in the middle of it. Some blame it on others. Still others aren't sure where to point the finger or which way to go from here. I know where my responsibilities lie in the ups and downs of my life. I want to know I've tackled them in a positive manner and hope my kids will learn to do the same when faced with their own challenges. I want to look at all the great things going on around me and my family and pay tribute to them. Call them out. Celebrate them. I want an Attitude of Gratitude and I want to pass it on.

I know this is going to require some effort and dedication -- and I'm ready. This life I was generously given as a gift is not something I take lightly. There is too much good going on right under our noses to focus on the bad. I'm sincerely grateful for my life and my fantastic family. I want everyone to know that - especially them. It's something I'm very proud to say. I can replace a television or a car. I can't replace my family. Therefore, I want to go through this life with them focusing on all the good. I'm excited to do this and am looking forward to discovering all the things, big and small, I am grateful for out there that I haven't even thought of before.

The Gratitude Challenge

A friend of mine sent out a challenge and due to my competitive nature, I took time to read it. It also came with a brief video and I watched that as well (it's at the bottom of this post). It didn't take long for me to think...why not. This is worth my time. It certainly can't hurt.

Therefore, I'm challenging YOU to do it too. It's called The Gratitude Challenge.

Basically, you commit to 21 days of choosing to look at the brighter side of life. It gives you a calendar by which you go about doing so. It looks interesting and I'm all about being thankful for things in my life, looking for the good, so...here's a great way to focus on what's really important.

Tomorrow will be my day one. Here's my instructions: Today you start The Gratitude Challenge. Sign the contract and make a commitment to take note and give thanks for the next 21 days. Express why you accepted this challenge and what you hope to achieve from it.

It's so easy to get pulled down in the negatives in our life. I want to focus on the positive. What better way than to dedicate to doing so each day?

Here's a few quotes from the video that got me interested in focusing on choosing to look for the good:

Especially when adversity strikes, gratitude has the power to help you thrive.

I choose to believe.

Dare to live on the brighter side of life.

Insist on seeing the silver lining.

If you are interested in doing this, please join me! How could it possible hurt? God wants us to be anxious for nothing! I'm horrible at this and hoping this little exercise will help.

Here's the website if you are up to the challenge: http://www.gratitudechallenge.com/

So, here I go. I'll keep bloggin' about day-to-day life also, but want to share my challenge progress here. Let's get to it!

Can I Just Get a Shot?

My Belle is sick and I absolutely hate it. She is passed out next to me, wanting to stick close, as my kiddos usually do when they're sick, and I can feel the heat radiating off her even though I'm not touching her.

Tested her for flu. Negative. Though he said we could've tested too early. If her symptoms continue (they are...and getting worse), told us to test her again. Going tomorrow. I desperately want my baby to feel better. That's what we're supposed to do as moms - make it all better. And fast. Right?

She asked me earlier if there was just some shot or something she could get that would make her feel better quicker. Wow. You DO feel bad, asking for a shot. "No baby...unfortunately we may have to wait this one out."

I'm not good at that either. Waiting. Patience. But trying hard to get better at it.

Those quick-fix days are far and few between as adults. I don't know if it's God's way of saying, "I gave you the gift of life. I never said it would be easy.". I feel as if He's constantly trying to teach me something and I'm constantly not getting it. Gee...patience maybe?! Where's my shot? I'll take one of those, please. Umm...He said, No. That I heard loud and clear, thank you.

No, that's not going to happen. This is "roll up yer sleeves" time. Get down and dirty. Don't be afraid to fight. I've applied for all kinds of jobs in the last few months. Few left me with any excitement of anything I'd really love to do, but like I said...it's time to get down to it. My family comes first and that is an unwavering commitment for me. I believe I've made as much money as I can make consulting from home, designing printing items, and those ever-popular bottlecap necklaces. Of course, I'm either over-qualified for jobs I KNOW I could do or the jobs in my field just aren't there. Will I ever get to write that book I have always wanted to write?

This economy has been horrible for so many. For instance, if you are self-employed, health insurance is now a big fat luxury. At least GOOD health insurance is. You know, the kind with co-pays and Rx coverage. Yeah - that kind. I won't get political at this point. Not what this post is about.

And, then if I DO get a job out of the house, there's childcare to think about. Will the kids like that? Not at first. But we'll find a way to make it fun. I'll keep telling myself that anyway. Do any of their friends go to childcare? Not that I know of. They'll make some new friends. No quick fix here either.

My sweet little girl is laying next to me so sick and my heart hurts for her. She's talking in her sleep and disoriented because of her high fever (yes...of course, I'm giving her medicine) but it won't bring it down below 101. I want a quick fix for her. There's nothing worse than your babies being in pain or feeling awful and looking to their Mommy for help and I can't take it all away at the snap of my fingers. Thankfully I take enough away with medicine, cold washcloths, cold drinks (WITH fresh ice, please!) and lots and lots of loving that they do think I'm magical to some degree. Whew. I know the powers of my magic wand will become quite limited as my kids continue to grow up, but I hope they always feel like they can come to me and expect unfaltering love.

As an adult I understand that everything worth having is worth putting effort into. And I'm willing to do that. Sometimes the "effort" is fun and sometimes it's the kind you work at. I obviously want my kiddos to understand all this, too. There is absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for them, including trying my best to be a good role model for them. That includes showing them how to handle the twists and turns of life. I'm not perfect and I point that out to them regularly. "Hey look guys. I learned something new today when I made that mistake," is something I say a lot to them. Even as parents, we aren't supposed to be perfect, but kids don't get that. And I'm not flashy in the way I do things - that I'm sure of - but I don't give up. So when those twists and turns come at me, I want them to know I did my best to push through and ride them as best I could when there was no 'shot' available. When the wind gets rough, I do my best to lean into it. I want them to SEE all of this. There's no room to talk-the-talk here. Kids know. You have to walk-the-walk when it comes to them. While some things in life may take work, it is worth the ride and they will be so proud of themselves. Life, love, careers, relationships, you name it...all takes work. All worth it. And...No shot available. And you know what...that's okay. We shouldn't be afraid or scared of the effort. When I'll be scared is when my kids start to look for the easy or "flashy" way out of things. Those are usually the "too good to be true" things in life. No thank you.

No, I can't make their fevers magically go away. I've never been a good magician anyway. BUT, I'm good at the real stuff. I can let them know I'm here, I'm helping, I love them and I'm not going anywhere. Now - it's time to flip Belle's wet rag over to the cool side. That's what mommy's do. And this job...I LOVE. I applied for it along time ago and am thrilled He hired me and put His trust in me to try and do right by them. These benefits are incalculable. Family is IT in my book. It's a gift not everyone is blessed with and I get that. And I soak up every day I'm blessed to be with mine. If it wasn't clear enough already, circumstances of recent months have made it crystal clear to me.

So while we may not get to offer quick-fixes to our kids, I remind myself that's okay. That's not the lesson they need to learn. And time spent with my little ones is precious and goes by so quick. There are so many things already I'd do different, given the chance. And then I remember, we can't move toward the future walking backward. I was given the stumbles to learn to work through them. Not get a shot for them. I've just got to do my best. Material things come and go. Family is forever and is the only thing in this great world we can't replace. Embrace it:



One final note: As I gave Belle a fresh washcloth, I asked if she was ready for me to put her in bed and she answered, "NO! The Cowboys are on! Momma...I gotta watch 'em." Then she turned and went to sleep. LOVE the early emergent loyalty, baby girl!

Maroon AND Orange

It was Reading with the Eagles today at the kids school school. This is the day the Allen High School football team, cheerleaders and coaches come to the school to promote literacy. They bring their huge, blown-up Eagle head that all the kids walk through in order to get into school and pretty much just make a big ole deal about it. The kids love it.

You are also supposed to wear your favorite team jersey, which left us as somewhat of a divided house this morning in terms of NCAA football.

It's a little blurry, but you get the idea of the smack talk that went on before school.

The Little Things

It doesn't take much for an 9 year old boy and a 6 year old little girl to have their day made. Today, it took a surprise trip Mommy made to Target.

For Ben - the new Mega Blocks Halo 2 Collectors Edition finally hit the shelves and I have to admit...I couldn't wait to get home and show it to him. His reaction was more than I'd hoped for. I think I've heard, "Thank you! I love you!" a million times already.

For Belle - a full length mirror. You know, the cheapo kind you can hang on the back of a door (but she's chosen to go on her wall). She's been wanting to see her "whole self" as she puts it, for awhile now and tonight she can. And I'm thrilled for her. I can hear her dancing around upstairs right now.

Obviously it doesn't take much for a mommy's day to be made either. Precious moments.

I haven't forgotten about the dogs. They're getting ready to get some wet food mixed in with their dry food. Unfortunately, wet will be the theme once again as they go outside. Yep, the tropical depression that's been hanging around for about 4 days now and then graciously went away yesterday is now back. The dogs HATE the rain!

Oh well...at least I've got two content kids. For now.

Gettin' What You Give

As we sat with Ben last night trying to help him with his homework, it became quickly apparent we waited TOO LATE in the evening to do it. Poor kid was exhausted and therefore - you guessed it - quick to lose his patience in the learning process. Just couldn't contain any info. And normally this is my photographic memory kid.

However, as he starts 4th grade this year, he's beginning to get a clear picture that things aren't always going to be like they have in the past when it comes to learning. It's going to require true effort. Physically showing up at school is no longer all it takes. He needs to mentally check-in also. Really show up.

And homework is no longer a 5 minute speed drill. Instead, learning 25 definitions for Social Studies (for instance) is going to take a little more time. As is the time he has to spend reading each night, learning spelling and vocabulary words, scientific method, etc... . Up to one hour a night can be dedicated to homework at times. Not really so bad. But to an 9 year old...it totally stinks. Especially when you actually have to spend the TIME to LEARN. Well...that's just boring.

We tried explaining to him about how - as is with all things in life: you get what you give. He was, of course, so tired - it went in one ear and out the other. I can't blame him. It's a boring lecture to hear, but one that we continue to learn even into adulthood.

It's so easy to give this lecture, isn't it? Obviously, we know as adults we have to give the effort to get the "reward". If we only give a percentage, we will only receive a percentage. Sometimes we just show up and count that as our effort knowing full well, that's not how it's to be done OR how we really want to do it. Yes, even as adults, we sometimes fail miserably at the effort even though we desperately seek the full reward.

I've spent a lot of my adult life taking things for granted. Not really showing up. Obviously not on purpose, but boy did I do it and I'm sure, still do from time-to-time. But, once your eyes open and you realize how, in the blink of an eye it can all go away, is when you start realizing...damn...I may have to actually TRY here.

And really, what's so bad about doing that AND why wasn't I doing it in the first place? Umm..absolutely nothing AND I have no idea. It's just when you are used to being lazy and unaware...the lackadaisical attitude takes over what is otherwise a completely functional and good-intentioned person. Not trying to say we don't have control over this attitude. We do. When we are aware of it, that is. Lesson here: Be Aware.

My poor, sweet son is paying the price today for his lackadaisical attitude since he left his homework at school and now doesn't get to go play with one of his best friends outside. Granted this was probably more of an oversight on his account, though I'm hoping this decreases the chances of it happening again. Also, I might add it's been raining here for about a week and is supposed to rain again tomorrow so the outside time would be very much enjoyed by him! As hard as it is seeing him upset with this consequence when he really is a good kid, it would break my heart even more if we didn't set rules in place and stick to them, then have him think, "I can give little effort and still get the reward. Life's great." And let's face it, at this time in his life, the honor roll isn't his chief concern. Well...Until it gets posted at the end of each six weeks by the cafeteria and he checks to make sure his name is on it, that is! It's our job to teach the lessons to our kids and it doesn't hurt to listen to our own lectures sometimes either.

I'm hoping these little "life lessons" we try and teach him will payoff in his adulthood. I know I wish I could have a do-over on a lot of things in my adulthood, but c'est la vie that is not to be.

Here comes the good news that I shared with Ben. We can LEARN from these regrets and move forward. Don't spend too much time on the "regret" part. Spend more time on the "what I'm gonna do from here on out" part. And most importantly...DO IT.

Something else Ben said applies here. Earlier this morning before school he was talking about the ocean and basically all the "dangerous" stuff about it. I was quick to point out all the fun you can also have in the ocean. "You can't live life being afraid, Ben. You are more likely to get hurt at school than if you were in the ocean." He's very cautious and to a degree, that's good. However, I don't want him to hesitate going for things he really wants just because it may be scary or difficult.

As long as you aren't hurting anyone else, sometimes you need put on your 'big girl panties' (big boy boxers for the men!) and take the advice of Coach Lombardi: "The real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back. That's real glory. That's the essence of it." Don't be afraid to fall. You can always get up. Do what is right and you will lead a quality life. Simple...no? Simple to say anyway.

If you only give it a percentage of what you truly can, don't expect to get the full 100% in return. It just doesn't work that way. Nor should it. Jump in, go for it, leave no stone unturned in your quest for whatever it is you are dreaming of doing. Just because you physically show up, doesn't mean you're there. Physically there doesn't equal mentally there. Trust me. I know. And right now, sweet Ben's finding out the hard way. This fairly simplistic way of looking at it applies to most things in life, so hopefully he will start picking it up now. He's bright. I'm sure he will show up in both ways. He's going to be a great man one day. He's a great little man today.

"Learning lessons stinks!" he said about 15 minutes ago. You said a mouthful there buddy. Couldn't agree with you more. However, I'm so glad we get the chance for do-overs and lesson-learned occasions in life. I for one don't know where I'd be without them.

Here's to you always showing up, Ben. I have no doubt you always will.

Such a Sucker for Words

I have to admit, I don't watch as much TV as I once used to. And that's a good thing. There's a whole lot of cr*p on these days.

But there are certain lines or moments from particular movies that always get my goat. Steel Magnolias, Doc Hollywood, Family Man and now that I've finally seen it...Casablanca.

On the TV front, there aren't as many lines that stay with me for too long. Until tonight.

I used to watch Grey's Anatomy religiously. Granted I had to TiVo it, but I watched it. I haven't seen this past season, though saw things here and there that led me to believe one of the main characters was leaving the show.

Tonight, what must have been one of the last episodes of this past season came on and due to the thunderstorm we were receiving having chosen numerous channels to knock out, I stopped there.

The show ended with a surprise wedding in which the words below were said and, of course, made me bawl like a baby. Okay, granted I am known to even cry at commercials, but I thought this was so sweet.

Today is the day my life begins, all my life I’ve just been me, a smart mouth kid, today I become a man, today I become a husband, today I become accountable to someone other than myself, today I become accountable to you, our future, to all the possibilities our marriage has to offer, together no matter what happens, I’ll be ready, for anything, for everything, to take on life, to take on love, to take on possibility responsibility, today our life together begins, and I for one can’t wait.

Umm...wow. A dramatic show on tv? Yes. But a tear-jerker nonetheless. I'm such a sucker for words. I admit it.

Hugs = God's Medicine

It never fails. A hug from my kids always lightens my heart. No matter what may be going 'round in my head, when one of my 'babies' reaches for me...the world instantly becomes a better place.

Like I've mentioned before, I'm still one of the lucky ones whose kids aren't (yet) embarrassed to hold my hand or run to give me a hug when I pick them up from school. I'm totally and completely blessed I get to pick them up from school. I know it might not always be that way.

But, for today, I'm thankful I can. Belle's face lit up when she saw me waiting for her, ran for me and jumped in my arms to the sounds of moms standing around saying, "I remember when my kids used to do that." Then Ben came around the corner a few minutes later and ran right to me and gave me a huge hug saying, "Hi mom!! How was your day?" Nothing extraodinary that they did it today. They do it every day. Today I just soaked it in a little more.

A mom standing nearby commented, "Wow...you're lucky. My kids run right passed me."

Lucky doesn't even begin to describe it.

I love you guys. And by the way - thanks for loving me.

xoxoxoxoxo ~Mom

Hello Kitty vs. Ticonderoga

As I was digging around in unpacked boxes in our garage yesterday, desperately seeking my Macromedia Dreamweaver CD so I could reinstall it on my recently crashed computer...I came across a little unopened sleeve of the cutest "girly" pencils. I must have bought them in the $1 section at Target some time ago thinking they would be perfect for my Belle.

I put them inside on the kitchen counter and, of course, forgot about them. Until this morning.

I excitedly announced to Belle I had found something I previously bought for her and forgot about. Yea! I surprise! I always loved surprise purchases from my mom when I was little!

"Look Shelby! Pink, sparkly Hello Kitty pencils!"

A strange look comes across her face and she manages a small smile to try and be grateful.

"Umm, Momma...I'm in first grade now. We don't really like Hello Kitty anymore. They're kind of baby-ish."

WHAT'S THIS?!! I wanted to say, 'You are 6 years old! Who doesn't like Hello Kitty? I see the 6th graders with Hello Kitty stuff!'

Instead, I just answered with "Oh. Okay. I can use them. No problem." She apologized, feeling bad I had got her something and she was embarrassed to use it. I let her know it was really okay and I would enjoy using them because I still thought HK was cool.

Seriously though...6 years old. What kind of pencil IS cool to a 6 year old girl you might ask? Apparently for MY six year old, either a plain colored (sparkles optional) or the ole reliable yellow Ticonderoga pencil.

Maybe this is a sign she won't be a slave to trends. Nahhh....I've still got that comin'.

From the Same Cloth

We are just starting to realize the number of similarities between our Belle and her daddy. She may not look like him, as her big bro does, but oh my word does she show some crazy comparable traits.

Primping. Yes I said primping. D is a primper, just like Belle is. Both can look at themselves in the mirror for hours.
Shoes. A love to admire and purchase them, but not necessarily wear them.
Clothes. An extreme desire to NOT wear clothes.
Water. Both love, love, love it. Lake, ocean, pool, rain...you name it. They love it.
Music. Both adore it. Both are tone deaf (though I don't think D is; he does) and both can NOT get the lyrics correct.
Surf and Turf. These two are smitten with steak and shrimp. Shelby more of the popcorn shrimp variety, but you should see her tear into a ribeye. Keep your fingers out of the way!
Travel. Motorcycles, planes, cars, visiting new places, you name it. These two are crazy about going and doing.
Temperature. May have something to do with the preference for no clothes, as they are both warm natured.
Snoozin'. Both can fall asleep at the drop of a hat. Whether you're mid-sentence or their head barely touches the pillow - when they are ready to sleep, it's "And to all a good night..." as far as they're concerned.

I know there's more and D will no doubt say, "You forgot about...", but c'mon. Isn't this enough for now?

I'm a Twit

I've finally conceded to trying Twitter. My interest in it grew as I was thinking of subjects to blog about and realized, "Nah...not really much to write about that, but interesting/funny to think about!" So I thought I'd just tweet about my little moments of observation and it would post to the side of my blog.

If for nothing else, for me to look back on and remember, 'Oh yeah. That was the day that very strange guy sitting outside at Starbucks and wearing spandex from head-to-toe winked and nodded at me as he was listening to Purple Rain full blast on his iPod while I was going through the drive-through.' Ewwwww. Am I going to be able to keep my nonfat caramel machiatto down? Thanks a lot.

On second thought...maybe it's best not to remember everything.

Oh well. Guess I'll see soon enough.