Memories and Dreams

There are those days when I feel like God knew exactly what He was doing when He gave me only two children. Then there are days when I wish I could have had more. Always though - I'm grateful for them and know His plan is perfect.

Today was a day I was reminded just what amazing gifts my two angels are. Simple, little things that made my heart tight, my eyes fill with tears and had me thinking I couldn't ask for anything more.

This morning on our way out the door, they climbed out of the car in the school parking lot drop-off line. But as Ben started to close the door, he hesitated, opened it back up and said, "By the way...you look great today, mom. Beautiful even! I hope you have an awesome day." The teacher who is out there everyday to help the kids looked at me, her eyes filled with tears and she leaned in the window and said, "You have the best son!". I responded, "No doubt." and of course, I got weapy.

I went to pick them up after school and noticed just how far the artist has come on the USA map she's been painting on the blacktop. Let me back up a minute here...the summer prior to Ben entering 2nd grade, he participated in a golf camp where he became acquainted with the sweetest boy - Spencer Squire. Spencer ended up suddenly passing away later that summer from an extremely rare and undetected (very fast growing) malignant brain tumor.


Spencer Squire

Since then, I have become friends with Spencer's mom, Anna. Simply put - she's amazing. But that's another story. The Squire family have become advocates for raising awareness of organ donation, not to mention childhood cancer and I have been honored to work with them on the PR of some of their endeavors. Through various fundraisers, part of the contributions go back to the school that Spencer loved so much (his little brother is now in 1st grade at the school).

This year, they commissioned an artist to paint a huge image of the map of the United States on the blacktop.

Donated by the Spencer Squire Family

This picture does NOT do it justice (plus it's not complete yet). It's gorgeous. Not to mention generous on the part of the Squires. If you look at the top left of the photo above, you'll see a grassy area that holds a playground donated two years ago to the school on behalf of the Squires. Now the kids have two playgrounds at recess.

At each top corner of the map are stars. The left side has Spencer's initials and the right.... Carson Richardson's.

Carson Richardson

 Carson was a friend of Shelby's in both kindergarten and first grade. He passed away this year from cancer. Again, a very rare form and he courageously fought it for years. And when I say courageous...this kid never once complained. I had the pleasure of being a permanent sub last year in PE at the school and you flat-out couldn't get him to stop. He wanted to play no matter what! I know his mom also and as you may guess, she's phenomenal as well.

As I stood there looking at that today, along with the initials of the two kids in the top corners I couldn't help but think, "Regardless of anything else...I'm extremely lucky." I get to take my kids to school every day. Pick them up after. Do homework with them. Get them to practices, playdates, tuck them in at night, etc... .

This evening as Belle finished her homework, I got one last reminder:
 

Making homework fun "her" way.

She had some reading to do and instead of just reading the book, she asked me for a clipboard, some paper and a pencil. "I want to write down all the facts and history about horses so I'll always remember." It's these little moments that have a way of whispering in my ear, "Soak it in, Terri. They'll be adults before you know it and you can't turn back time and make the most of it. All those prayers before they arrived led to this. Enjoy this moment in time."

So the times when I walk in Ben's room and literally can't see the floor because it's been re-carpeted with Legos...or the times when Belle sasses me or does her "Hmpph!" grunt at me...these are the times I need to remember it's just all part of childhood. And it's my job to correct this behavior, too. It's my awesome privilege I was entrusted with.

How lucky am I to be a part of their lives? Watch them grow. Watch them learn. It's happening before my eyes and I ache for them to stay young, knowing all the while tomorrow will bring a new memory. I know I can't keep them from getting older and I will always cherish the memories of them being my little ones, but I know I'm so incredibly blessed to hold them, kiss them, smell them and yes, even discipline them... every single day.

Always remember and never forget: Don't make your memories larger than your dreams.