I remember about six weeks ago I took Duke to the vet with the purpose of letting him go. At the time, neither Duke nor myself were ready. Our sweet vet said, "He's not ready and neither are you. When it's time, you'll know. You won't be able to get him here quick enough and end the pain." At the time, he wasn't in pain. And I really couldn't imagine thinking I couldn't get him there "quick enough". I loved him and couldn't imagine hurrying him away from me.
As it turns out, she was right.
When I called that morning, they gave me the option of coming in at 11am or wait until 5:30pm. I took the earlier time. Partly because I was feeling strong enough and knew that may change if I spent the whole day loving on him. But mainly because I knew. I just knew.
I wanted to do what was right by him.
Looking back on several things in my life I realize this is how I operate. It takes a long time for some things to make sense to me. For them to penetrate my stubborn nature that tells me I can do anything I work hard enough at. Obviously, that's not the case. Some things are out of our control.
But once it does settle into my belief system, there is no turning back. Once I "get it"...I get it. I guess my nature is since I finally get I can't change it, I don't just cope with it but also make the best of it.
The other choice is keep fighting a fight I can't win or curl up in the fetal position and be defeated. Not only are both of those options ridiculous, I obviously always have two little kids on my mind who I'm trying desperately to "teach" how to deal with life. The good and the bad. Yeah, yeah...I've talked about that before.
But this past week, I took the kids to the apartment complex that would be our new home. I had been talking about the possibility of living in an apartment for a little while to plant the seed. They've had enough surprises lately and I didn't want to blindside them. And while I'm a marketer by nature and touched on various benefits, I was careful to actually undersell it a little. I didn't want to be there two weeks and have them go, "Hey...this isn't what you said it would be!"
So how did my team members react? They could have complained about the space. The smaller rooms. The no yard. Instead they embraced it. They understand why we are doing it and are actually excited about helping pack, move, you name it. They were actually impressed I went and got us a new home. "You mean you got it for us? It's a done deal?" Yep. I did that. For us.
And my Belle? Turns out she has more of me in her than I thought. I went upstairs the other night to this...
As it turns out, she was right.
When I called that morning, they gave me the option of coming in at 11am or wait until 5:30pm. I took the earlier time. Partly because I was feeling strong enough and knew that may change if I spent the whole day loving on him. But mainly because I knew. I just knew.
I wanted to do what was right by him.
Looking back on several things in my life I realize this is how I operate. It takes a long time for some things to make sense to me. For them to penetrate my stubborn nature that tells me I can do anything I work hard enough at. Obviously, that's not the case. Some things are out of our control.
But once it does settle into my belief system, there is no turning back. Once I "get it"...I get it. I guess my nature is since I finally get I can't change it, I don't just cope with it but also make the best of it.
The other choice is keep fighting a fight I can't win or curl up in the fetal position and be defeated. Not only are both of those options ridiculous, I obviously always have two little kids on my mind who I'm trying desperately to "teach" how to deal with life. The good and the bad. Yeah, yeah...I've talked about that before.
But this past week, I took the kids to the apartment complex that would be our new home. I had been talking about the possibility of living in an apartment for a little while to plant the seed. They've had enough surprises lately and I didn't want to blindside them. And while I'm a marketer by nature and touched on various benefits, I was careful to actually undersell it a little. I didn't want to be there two weeks and have them go, "Hey...this isn't what you said it would be!"
So how did my team members react? They could have complained about the space. The smaller rooms. The no yard. Instead they embraced it. They understand why we are doing it and are actually excited about helping pack, move, you name it. They were actually impressed I went and got us a new home. "You mean you got it for us? It's a done deal?" Yep. I did that. For us.
And my Belle? Turns out she has more of me in her than I thought. I went upstairs the other night to this...
 |
| No looking back. |
She packed. Or more accurately, moved all her stuff from her room to the game room. We aren't moving for 2 months. But like her momma...when it makes sense to her, she acts on it. Immediately.
So here we go. Boxes galore in the garage. Who knew "dumpster diving" outside the new town homes I was actually hoping to move us in to (way out of my price range right now) would prove to be an adventure in and of itself? "Score mom! Today must be our lucky day!"
Indeed. Two kids eager to help. Smiles on their faces. Encouraging words. "Wow Mom...you're doing all this by yourself! You're pretty awesome."
:::gulp:::
And while I'm not doing it all by myself since I have the two best kids in the world...Somehow. Some way. I must be doing something right.
So here we go. Boxes galore in the garage. Who knew "dumpster diving" outside the new town homes I was actually hoping to move us in to (way out of my price range right now) would prove to be an adventure in and of itself? "Score mom! Today must be our lucky day!"
Indeed. Two kids eager to help. Smiles on their faces. Encouraging words. "Wow Mom...you're doing all this by yourself! You're pretty awesome."
:::gulp:::
And while I'm not doing it all by myself since I have the two best kids in the world...Somehow. Some way. I must be doing something right.
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