Another night of me being unable to turn off my brain led to yet another night of insomnia. To say I'm getting tired of it would be an understatement.
So, as usual, my brain starts unnecessarily scrutinizing my day and the activities that may, or may not have, occurred. It's ridiculous I do this. It isn't something I enjoy. I guess my "over-thinking" has become a bad habit I desperately need to break. Seems I have a few of those. Mainly in the category of "self-improvement", thankfully. I say thankfully because it could be worse. I could be addicted to drugs or alcohol or something, but trying to change certain aspects about your own life and personality are, well, difficult.
Regardless...mind turning, 1:00 a.m. and eventually my mind goes to The Bachelor and how one of the guys in the fraternity (Sigma Phi Epsilon...aka Animal House, as it turned out) I was a little sister to in college contacted me and said, "Terri...you do realize Brad was a Sig Ep at SWT, don't you?" My response was short and simple: "SHUT UP!". Obviously he was there after I was. Would like to think I would have noticed him. :-)
Anyway, one of the girls in the interview portion of the show talked about how she lost her fiance' in a plane crash and ever since then, she's been very generous in telling people she loves, "I love you" because you never know if you'll get another chance to do so. When she said it, I immediately thought, "I probably say 'I love you' more than most people." I wonder if people think I'm strange for doing that? Oh well. I don't care. I want them to know they are loved.
Then, as I thought thinking about what a great idea it really is, I realized I **really** do tell a lot of people I love them. I think it's a great thing to let someone know.
You always run the chance of someone making more out of it than it is. Of course, if they really know me...they hear me say it to others anyway, so they know I'm not proposing.
It doesn't mean "I'm head over heels IN-love with you and want to have your children". It doesn't mean "my life will not be complete without you"...though in most cases, the person I'm saying it to has certainly enhanced my life somehow. Obviously.
It does mean...you have a special place in my heart...I'm happy you are in my life...I pray for you and those you love...I want what is best for you and what makes you happy in this life...I'm always, always here for you...I'm probably going to hug you a lot :-)...I trust you.
Today as I sat at my desk eating lunch, I started wondering what Ang was doing today as I hadn't heard from her yet. Do you have certain friends you talk to every day...sometimes several times a day? Ang is one of those. It may be as simple as exchanging some texts, but we talk every day. So at precisely 12:29, as I'm thinking this exact thing, my phone goes off telling me I have a text message. I look at my phone and it says "Ang" on it. I open the message and it reads: "Having a good day? Hope so! Love you!" and I had to laugh...and of course immediately text her back how I was **just** thinking of her. I can't tell you how many times we have done something like that. The timing of two people who know each other so very well.
Last night as I was thinking of who all I say, "I love you" to on a regular basis the first was her. We literally tell each other almost every day. Weird? I don't think so. It's a great feeling to both say it and hear it. And to know someone cares enough about you to not be shy with words some people are so afraid to say.
"What will they think? Will they think I'm overly-emotional? Will they think I want to marry them? Will they laugh and say 'what?!' "
Someone at work told me "I love you" awhile back and I instantly returned it with an "Love you, too!". I couldn't have been happier to know someone else does that and we both understand the subtext of the words. It's what it is. Simple. Nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed to say. On the contrary, you should be ashamed if you don't say it.
In the same regard, I use the words "babe or baby...sweetie...honey" when talking to people close to me. It's a term of endearment that is somehow a softer or more caring way of saying their name.
So very obviously, my kids hear it a LOT. We are a family of "I love you" being said and meant numerous times a day. At any given time, if Ben walks in the room, the first thing out of his mouth is often, "Hey mom. I love you" and he just keeps walking. Or stops for a hug. Regardless, he's not shy about saying it because he's heard it so often.
Try it. You may discover just how much you enjoy letting people know they are loved. And you might start hearing in return just how much YOU are loved. And one day, you may realize just how important it was you said it.
Always remember and never forget: Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
No comments:
Post a Comment