What **should** I be doing? Working. But since I've been doing that and my brain is on overload, I'm taking a mental health break and writing. I figure if I get some stuff out of my head, maybe it will function properly. You know...like when you're trying to stir the creamer in a cup of coffee you got a little too full...it spills over and creates a mess. Am I the only one who does that?
Oh well...
The past 10 days, give or take, have been a blur. I slept two hours last night and have no real reason for it. I wasn't thinking of any one thing in particular. I was working on a logo that was (still is) giving me problems, but decided to put that aside. Had a nice conversation with a friend. Washed my face. Snuggled up under a goose down blanket. And waited.
Nothing.
It's not even like my mind was churning ideas, as it often does when I'm working on a creative project. I just honestly think I have so much on my plate right now, my mind is doing some sort of juggling act with everything I'm trying to get accomplished.
This morning, after I tell Ang I didn't sleep last night, she responds with a text saying simply: "Melatonin!!"
Yes, it is the wonder drug when it comes to sleeping, but if I don't take it by 11:00 at the latest, I am a little drowsy in the morning. Of course, it wasn't until around 1:00 a.m. when I had finally come to the conclusion I wasn't going to fall asleep.
So I started thinking of my newest venture I'm so excited about. And the conversation I had about it today made it even more exciting.
DF told me some good news about it and the conversation went a little something like this (omitting a few things I'm not at liberty to talk about yet!):
DF: You aren't gonna believe the email I just got (then tells me about it).
Me: Really?! That's awesome!. You guys are going to have a great time.
DF: It's going to be fun. But a lot of hard work. The most exciting thing is ** said ..."if it's not something we can show to a church congregation, then I don't want any part of it". I told **, sounds like we're all gonna get along just fine.
Me: Absolutely!
It's so easy to fall into a lazy way of doing things. Or even a way that you think, "This makes me look cool" when everyone else is going...."Ummmm...really?!". It's more important to me, and as a way to show my kids, even though the non-traditional route may take longer...it's worth it in the end. Hard work pays off. Effort pays off. Choosing the high road is never a bad choice. In the end, you have something to be proud of. You are able to look back and say, "Yeah...I did that. And you can be proud to say your mom was a part of it."
It would be easy to write a blog, or anything for that matter, about trashy things. About negative things. About sleaze. Those words and topics come easily to the weak-minded and weak-at-heart. While some may think it's funny, and I get it has its place, I've seen the ugly side of it and what it can cause.
I'm so proud to be heading down a road alongside people whom I'm honored to be associated with. Their decisions are grounded and come from a place of conviction and dedication. They keep me on my toes and excited about new possibilities. They make me want to work hard at not only being the best example I can be, but being a Mom my kids can be proud of. They remind me I can do this. Tell me I'm not just capable, but if I didn't do it...well that would just be stupid! :-)
So my head is swimming and swirling and things are spilling over a bit right now, but it's okay. Because it's all good. What little negative I do have is being overshadowed right now and I have no doubt where that bright light is coming from.
Always remember and never forget: Don't be surprised when you get dirty walking through the middle of a mud puddle.
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