STOP FLYING ALREADY

By the end of this week, I will have a 3rd grader and a (this part sends me into panic) a 6th grader.

Someone please tell me how in the world THAT happened.

Ben and I were talking about it the other night and at some point in the conversation I said, "I just can't believe how time flies."

So in his nightly 'I don't want to sleep so what deep thought can I conjure up to stay awake' routine, he sleepily swaggers into my room, rubbing his eyes and asks, "Mom...how DOES time fly and WHY does it go so fast?"

Don't we all wish we could answer that question?!

At his age, I was ready for it to hurry the heck up. Shelby is the exact same way. But Ben...he enjoys each day. He never wants to see it come to an end. And if he's said it once, he's said it about a million times, "THIS was the best day EVER!". It could've been we went and got ice cream at a new place, but Ben loves life.

I wish GNC would sell that in a bottle. I'd take it every day. Not that I don't appreciate every day, because I most certainly do. I just wish I had the enthusiasm for darn near everything, as he does.

I'm constantly amazed where me and my two kids are in life. It's not at all what I pictured or what I planned. My "Message from God" today on Facebook told me: "On this day, God wants you to know that all is well. All is going according to plan. Trust that there is a bigger picture. Trust that life is unfolding as it should."

My response? If You say so....

However, despite the curveballs and chaos I have come to a conclusion...I am happy. Because I CHOOSE to be happy.

It didn't happen overnight and it certainly wasn't obtained on my own. I've been blessed with friends and family who want me to be happy too. I've taken some shots at close range from people I would have never expected would want me and therefore my kids to be anything other than happy, but it just goes to show you...never assume.

People change all the time. Some because they have to. Some because they choose to. Others don't even recognize they are changing.

Like watching a ship sail off in the distance, I've watched some of my closest friends grow distant, as well. And I understand it's not even by choice. I know the demands of being a parent with kids our age...busy, busy, busy. Add into it work, keeping up the house, errands, etc... . Though I jokingly told one friend today, "I'm starting to think y'all think I have Divorce Cooties!" :-)

In reality, I know they don't. It's just so tough to make time to do everything we want to do because everything we have to do takes precedence.

And while I watch friends and their families get together on occassions my family used to be included in on, I know why it happens. People change. Dynamics change. I never feel uncomfortable being somewhere alone, but I now understand others may. They may feel like I need to be entertained or that I represent something they don't want to happen in their lives. And that's a very subconscious thought shared to me by a friend. Something I don't think I ever would have thought of, but nonetheless...it's there. But it's okay, as I've become capable of finding those who are in similar boats as myself and am having fun, taking life day-by-day. And every once in awhile, I garner the Ben-enthusiasm and have found myself saying, "That was the best day EVER!".

Friends...true friends...come so few-and-far-between. Grab onto the true ones with both hands and never let go.
Always remember and never forget: "God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who walks away, who you let stay and who you refuse to let go."