Ahhhhhhhh New Year's Eve 2010.
In just a few hours it will be a new year. A chance at a fresh start. Well...that part isn't really true, now is it? Every day is a chance at a fresh start.
Every day we have the opportunity to make things better. Say, "I love you" or "I'm sorry". Forgive someone. Ask to be forgiven. Make better choices. Be healthier. Anything really.
In reading everyone's comments on Facebook earlier, I saw a lot of "I'm so ready for 2010 to end...". A friend of mine today told me she received eight change of address notices from Christmas cards this year due to divorce alone. It's been a rough year for a lot of people.
And while I'm looking forward to a new year, I can't help wishing I could change the past. From years ago to just yesterday. Take back things I've said. I've done. Do things I didn't.
But I can't.
I've made my share of mistakes. Acted a fool. You name it. No one is perfect and this year has definitely brought out a 'me' I've been embarrassed to be when weak, proud to be when strong, mad to be when I got weak again or needy, and now...I remember it's a roller coaster ride and to not be so hard on myself. My real friends know the REAL me. I'm strong. Nurturing. Loyal. Honest. And sometimes...a little too vulnerable. It's taken me a long time to name my positive attributes. I'm glad I can do it now and know it's not being conceited. It's being proud of certain aspects and knowing I have a ton more to work on.
I CAN make a choice every day to do this though. And while I don't believe in New Year's resolutions (again...because we have the resolve to change every day), I am looking forward to tomorrow being the start of a better year.
People may not understand my choices this past year and frankly they don't have to. I've been told I'm too nice and have alternatively been falsely accused of ridiculous things. I've been fronted out by friends who saw me straying away from being the strong person I've become and lately have been the recipient of anonymous emails from someone "warning" me about someone in my life. I mean really?! If you really want to 'warn' a person...be upfront. Otherwise, it loses its credibility. Plus...I have no idea who they are talking about! Doesn't help much.
From now on, these people who don't have me and my kids best interest at heart are simply not going to be able to be a part of our world. "Life's to damn short for lightweights..." said Guru Don! He also said, "Turn the page, push on the gas pedal and whoever hangs on is worth keeping." Love it.
For the record, my amazing friends and family who have been there for us in 2010...thank you from the very depths of my heart. I love you so much. I'm both eternally grateful for your compassion and sorry for the weak moments in my life. You never left me or let me wander too far. You allowed my down times with grace and understood completely. You celebrated my accomplishments with sincere joy. You are my lifeline and please know I will always be there for you.
I look forward to 2011! Blessings of hope, health and happiness to all. xoxoxo, Terri
Always remember and never forget:
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