FINDING THE DEEP IN THE STEEP

I went and looked at the place me and the kids will be calling 'home' in two short weeks. And all the feelings of 'how did it come to this' rushed back.

I haven't written in a week, even though I tried to hold myself accountable last Sunday night by saying I would 'write more' tomorrow. I didn't.

So I went and looked back at what I was going to write about. All the scribble on my church bulletin. It was full of everything I need to keep reminding myself of, especially when I get overwhelmed with the emotion I felt today. Especially then.

When I first got to to church, I let a friend know I was there and she replied, "God's going to tell you something today. Be ready!". And she was right. He hit me smack in the face with it. I looked in the bulletin and the name of the sermon was "First Things First: Life is Too Steep".

He started off by talking about times in our lives that are like mountains. Times we think we can never overcome. Times that pretty much just scare us into submission. He said mountains can be both breathtaking and breath-taking. No doubt. It all depends on your perspective.

Can we overcome these mountains? Of course. But it has to do with how prepared we are and the precautions we take. And again...our perspective. The steep has us missing out on all the deep. I may not be able to see all that deep right now, but it's there.

I'm definitely not at my best when my worries smother my focus. There are no quick fixes in life. It's one step at a time. That's the only way to get over the mountain.

So while I walked in church that morning and felt very alone, near the end of the service I looked around. There were people...friends...I knew all around me. Not necessarily 'close' friends, but people I knew. I wasn't alone. Just as with many things in my life right now, a new kind of 'together'. More importantly, the kids were thrilled to be back. Even auditioned later on that day for roles in the upcoming Christmas Pageant (and both got roles).

I have got to keep reminding myself that while I'm down-sizing my kids home, I'm doing it from a very loving place. It keeps us where we need to be for now. It's temporary. It's walls, a ceiling, floors and it's safe. And even though it's very small, it will be full of love and one day when we move on, it will be full of memories.

And I'll look back at that particular mountain and say, "Yeah...I did that. I made it to the other side."