It's a Fine Line...But Momma Bears Draw It

As I'm attempting to comb through all the knotted-up nests in Shelby's hair the other night after her shower, I notice a small bruise on her back. Up by her left shoulder. Given I still recognize every new mark on my kids and this one I had not seen before, I ask where it came from. She stiffens up and says, very unbelieveably, "I don't know."

After a little prodding, she breaks down and tells me one of the girls in school did it. She was afraid to tell me because she had gotten in trouble the week before and I had grounded her. She was disrespectful and in this house, that's a no-no and gets a consequence. But she didn't want to get in trouble again. "For what? She hit you...right?"

Thing is, she was afraid to tell me because after the girl hit her ('clawed' her as Shelby put it and being that there was also a little cut in the middle of the bruise, I tend to believe it) Belle didn't take too kindly to that and kicked the other little girl. She had attended a couple karate/self-defense classes recently and apparently decided she would incorporate that knowledge into, well, defending herself.

Through her tears she claimed, "You told me it was okay to hit someone if they hit me!". Ummmmm. I thought about this. Doesn't sound like my exact words, but does sound like something I believe. I reminded her that what I actually said was the only time it was okay to be physical with someone is when you are defending yourself. "That's what I was doing." Indeed it was.

Nonetheless, being the guilt-ridden mom I am, I felt horrible my daughter felt she couldn't come to me. Actually, the first thing I felt was, "Is this really the way it all went down? What did you do?" and after some research, I'm convinced it IS in fact the way it went down.

Thing is, school/district policy is that no matter who starts it, if you get physical...both parties get punished. I understand there has to be rules. D and I both support our kids if they feel they ever have to defend themselves. **Especially** if someone is hitting them. On school grounds or not. I realize it's a fine line. I would never encourage my kids to 'fight'. But defending themselves is a whole other matter. She had a bruise for cryin' out loud! So in this case, this Momma Bear says, "I don't think so! You let her know you are NOT a punching bag!"

I informed certain administrators at school that if our kids are attacked physically, we support them defending themselves. We don't encourage them to fight, let's get that straight.

So if you see my blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl sitting in the prinicipals office anytime...know she's one little girl who isn't going to sit there and 'take it' (if that is in fact why she's there! hahaha!). And I say, good for her. Likewise, we have reminded them, if you ever start something...expect the other person to come back atcha! I wouldn't expect any less of them.