As my Belle left the living room after school yesterday, with the TV on (thank you very much), I decided to see if the weather was on yet and put it on a local channel without checking the guide.
Dr. Phil was on. Wasn't his show cancelled? Guess not.
Now, normally, you wouldn't catch me ever watching Dr. Phil. Don't know why. It's not like I hate the guy. I think other people's turmoil just makes me uncomfortable and I look for the uplifting/entertainment. Or the weather, in this case.
But almost exactly as I put it on the channel yesterday, he was talking to two parents and said something that has stuck with me and I agree with.
He said children have two types of people in their lives. Primary and secondary role models. As parents, we are obviously primary. He added that being a parent has two characteristics. Responsibility: which we must acknowledge. Meaning, sometimes we don't put our needs/wants first. In other words, I may not get to go do as many "me" things as I would if I weren't a parent because I put the needs of my child/family first. The other is Priveledge - which we should *always* consider as the ultimate characteristic. Because it is an extreme priveledge to be a parent.
So many people out there are fighting for the chance to be a parent. A mommy. A daddy. To be able to smell that soft little head of fuzzy hair as we rock them to sleep. Watch the multitude of firsts in their lives. Wipe away all the debris that seems to form in all their little crevices! I know we worked deligently at it. And eventually we got what we worked so hard for. Two precious children.
I spoke with a friend yesterday who is unfortunately going through the ups and downs of trying to be a parent. She called me because she's had another miscarraige and knows I've gone through my share of them, to say the least. She just wanted an ear and I took the opportunity to give her some advice.
I told her to not lose sight of the fact they are trying to have a 'family', not just a baby. It's so, so easy to do that. I got lost in that. It becomes so medical and when you have the personality of someone who is used to accomplishing things they work hard for, it becomes even that much easier to get lost in something else and actually drift further from what you initially set-out to do. Create a family.
Thankfully the tide turned and I know my family is the most important thing in the world. The only thing I can't replace.
Family is more than just people living under the same roof. It's connecting. It's doing things together. It's sometimes sacrifice. It should always be supporting. It's laughing. Crying. Loving. Hurting. Comforting. Enjoying. All rolled into one. You never know what each day will bring, but you know for sure your family will be there with you to experience it all. It's just part of the deal.
So, Dr. Phil...on this occassion at least, I agree with you. Kudos for your advice to those parents who lost track of their roles. We could all use to be reminded of that every now and then.
Go hug your little miracles.
No comments:
Post a Comment