Today is my birthday! Am I one of the few 'older' women who actually still enjoy having birthdays? I like getting the phone calls, emails, text messages, cards, hugs and all the other well wishes that come with a day dedicated especially to me. I'm an otherwise non-limelight kinda girl, but I do believe birthdays are a big deal. At least I believe they should be treated that way.
As Ben put it this morning, "If you didn't have a birthday, me and Shelby wouldn't be here." True...so true.
As we get...uh-hum...'older'...I think it's only natural to look back over our lives and do some evaluating. Some inventory control. Some investigating. "Am I making the most of my life?"
Or better yet, "Am I doing what God wants me to be doing with my life?"
Well, let's see. Is that a can of worms I really want to open?
I guess I have to judge both questions based on the day-to-day (to day-to-day-to-day). So many times, we look back at our lives in terms of big moments or events. I know that's how I've done it. At least in the past.
::::I graduated high school. I graduated college. I got a job. I got married. I got a better job. Went through lots of infertility issues. I had a kid. I quit that better job. I had another kid. I started my own business. And so on.::::
However, if this past year has taught me anything, it's emphasized the importance of stopping to smell the roses because we aren't guaranteed tomorrow. When my number has flipped for the final time, I want to know I'm looking back on not just the big things, but more importantly remembering the little ones. Because they are what lead up to all the 'big' ones.
The things that happen in the middle of those big events are the really important ones. Without them, those events defined as 'monumental' would be non-existent (to steal Ben's philosophy). And he is right.
Take the events of my birthday today, as a way of proving my point. When asked earlier by a friend if I'm having a good birthday, I could already say, "Yes!" even though it was only 11:30 a.m. Why? Because last night I went out with a dear friend who was sweet enough to think of me ahead of time and bought tickets for us to an event she knew I'd like. Then I came home and kissed my already-in-bed (but not asleep) kids goodnight who went on to compete to see who could compliment me the most ("You smell good." "You are so pretty." "I like that shirt on you." You get the drift...).
This morning I woke up to happy birthday wishes on my computer, my phone, from my kids, from my husband. Cards were ready for me to open and sweet messages were inside. It has already been explained to me that a cake will be purchased FOR me...I will NOT, under any circumstances, be purchasing it myself. And finally, D has already arranged for us to have a night out tonight. That's right! HE arranged the sitter.
Did anything truly monumental happen? Probably not in most people's eyes or by most people's definition of 'monumental'. I guess my definition is just different. Imagine that...me...thinking differently than everyone else.
See...It's the little things that happen along the way that matter to me. That make me feel loved and appreciated. It's the small dots that connect to the big dots that end up making a complete picture when you stand back and look at it. A complete life. Some of the day-to-day events in my life are probably mundane to some. Maybe even monotonous. But I see consistency. I see a pattern of connecting my dots every day and showing my kids this is what you do. Big events come and go. Every day things happen...well...every day! It's not just about connecting those dots that are easy to find. Anyone can do that. It's about being patient and searching, working, then connecting those that are difficult to get to, also. ("When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."~ Unknown). I love quotes. The words I want to say, but have a hard time getting on paper...
So it's the dots/moments when my 6-going-on-16 year old daughter screams, "You just don't understand me! No one gets me!" and we laugh hysterically (and one day, she will too). It's the times when my son takes yet another school picture that looks as if he's trying to turn the camera to stone (He smiles a million times a day! Why can't he smile for a posed shot?!). It's the times when people love me enough to do the 'little things' that make my birthday feel like a big deal.
And when all those dots connect....it's beautiful. And I feel extremely loved. And grateful. And when I look at them from a distance, they are looking more and more like a complete picture. The dot by itself isn't so impressive. But together...with all the other dots connected ~ it's huge and to me: even miraculous. So often, people don't think of the end result. Every moment/dot counts. It all adds up. Even our kids get it.
Sometimes dots get neglected or we get frustrated about finding them and just feel like moving on to the next. Eventually we realize we have to come back and connect them. Every single one is part of the picture. Part of learning. Part of living. Part of putting the picture together and making it complete. It's when we care enough to go back and make the connection is when our picture starts really coming together. No one said it had to be perfect; that's not expected actually. How boring would that be? I feel much more accomplishment knowing I found the difficult ones.
The little dots in the complete picture of our lives are vital. Not every one of them is exciting. If they were ALL exciting they would lose their fizzle quickly and our definition of 'exciting' would soon change to 'monotonous'.) But without those little dots, we can't move on to the next and complete the picture. And the next dot could be one of those big events just waiting to happen!
So here's to connecting all the dots of our lives and making sure we pass on the joy and responsibility in doing so to our kids. More than anything I pray my kids feel as though I've contributed to giving them and showing them by example how to have a complete life and that in the future, their hearts overflow by connecting their own dots with their little ones.
I'll end with a quote from Albert Einstein about life because I love what he has to say here:
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
And it's all miraculous.
No comments:
Post a Comment