I know, I know...tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I'm writing about Christmas. Why? It's not that I'm overlooking Turkey Day. I love it. I have many wonderful memories of Thanksgiving and look forward to many more. In fact, Thanksgiving holds a place near-and-dear to my heart for many reasons, but I won't get into that right now. Thanksgiving Day deserves its own post.
You see, I've got lots of Christmas decorations. This decorate-all-out theory was passed down to me and I am grateful for it. Seems I've already passed this down to my Belle. She is whipping me about getting all the decorations out NOW. Because I have so many decorations, I try to start getting them out the week of Thanksgiving. Otherwise, I feel like I barely get them out before I have to pack them away again for another year. Plus, I think it makes the house look festive and a little brighter. Twinkling lights have a way of doing that, don't they?
But I digress...
The reason for my premature holiday excitement...my Mom. She passed away right before the holidays and being that it was her favorite time of year, I wasn't too excited about that first Christmas without her. It was too soon. It had only been a little over a month. I wondered how this time of year would ever be the same. Initially, my heart was heavy and I couldn't imagine doing any of those things we'd made into tradition without her. Remarkably (I say that sarcastically...I know Who clued me in), it didn't take too terribly long for me to get the message. And normally I have to be hit over the head with a hammer.
It was up to me to carry on the tradition. Even though it was my first Christmas without her, I channeled my inner-elf and opened the cardboard boxes lined with masking tape and got to business. I started with the reindeer. I got them out of the box, pushed their little feet in the styrofoam, made sure Rudolph was front-and-center, put Santa in his sleigh along with the worn-out, red cotton bag with the presents inside and sprinkled it with the fake snow. All of this was placed with care on top of her piano. Where it went every year. Where it would go every year thereafter, for as long as I had her piano.
I hung the green glass, big bulb lights around the front door. She loved green lights outside and blue lights on the tree.
Once I did just those few things, the tide began to turn. I started realizing that instead of being overwhelmed with the sadness of her much-too-young dismissal from this world, I would choose to celebrate her favorite time of year the way she would want it done. The way she taught me to. I think it would disappoint her to think that a time of year - a time of year she had always shared with me snuggled up on the couch watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, decorating and baking - a time that had always been so full of joy and hope was now full of sadness. In fact, I think it might have even ticked her off! "I passed on all I know. All my Christmas love and 'skills' and you're not going to use them? Why on earth do you think I shared them with you in the first place?!"
This time of year is about celebrating. Coming together and spending time with family...like it or not! The kids are out of school, our work days are cut short, guests and family come in from out-of-town to visit...everyone should be so lucky. Yes. I said lucky.
It does not escape me that there are so many people, many of whom are right under our noses, who aren't as lucky. Their holidays are spent alone, with their child in the hospital receiving chemo, or just choosing to be unhappy and Scrooge-like.
So, as I clear places in the house for all our Christmas decorations before the calendar has even turned to December, it is with great love I remember my mom and know that she'd be doing the same. Humming Christmas carols to herself, visualizing where specific things should go and preparing to share her heart with her family.
Especially now that I have kids, I'm always tickled to be able to see it all through their eyes. I often miss the things they are looking at because I'm too busy looking at their reactions to whatever is taking place. It's a wonderment I adore sharing with them now. It's like I get to re-live childhood all over again, but now with the appreciation that there's more meaning in everything going on around me. And I want them to remember this time of year as one when great memories of their childhood were made. When their family and loved ones came together and recalled past holidays. When stories were shared. Food was eaten from recipes passed down from generations. That certain smell fills the air that only comes this time of year. We snuggle a little more. We are a little more thankful for what we have instead of what we don't have or what we 'want'. We realize we are all connected.
The song "All I Want for Christmas is You" by Mariah Carey came on the other day and Belle questioned why this person wasn't asking for presents. I mean c'mon...she's six. She knows it's Jesus' birthday and that He is the Reason for the Season, but I also get kids love opening presents! We teach them to write letters to Santa, for cryin' out loud. I explained to her that as you get older, you start realizing what's really important to have in your life. You 'want' things you can't buy. You desire happiness, love, family, good health, a bright future. That becomes what is important. That becomes your heart. Your superficial desires change and you understand those you love are what encompasses the purpose of your life. For me, these kids we brought into the world are IT. These little souls could have gone to anyone and WE got them. You can't get much more thankful. I mean really. What else could you ask for?
My life isn't just MY life. And I know now not to live it as such. We are all connected. My words, actions, everything...affect others. If you want to live a life that isn't connected to others...good luck. But why anyone would want to do that is beyond me. Bad times change to good. You just sometimes have to channel your inner-elf to make it happen.
So yes...I love (LOVE) this time of year. I tend to want to jump to it right after Halloween (NOT before...that is something that irks me). It just seems to go by so fast. My apologies to those who are not quite ready for all the merriment. It's just who I am. It makes me happy. It reminds me of what is important in life. It makes me want to celebrate life. Even though the one who taught me how to celebrate this season is no longer on this earth. In fact...BECAUSE of it. She taught me to celebrate and love this time of year. So celebrate and love it with my family I will.
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