GIMME THE TEXAS HILL COUNTRY

I can honestly say, the thought of moving has more than crossed my mind in the past few years. It's not just a random thought. Or a "wouldn't-that-be-nice-if..." inkling of imagination.

It's turning into a full-fledged "I've-got-to-do-this" declaration. Albeit in my head and not screaming from the rooftops as I do in my dreams.

This weekend, as we sat by the Trinity River in Fort Worth at a restaurant I've been wanting to visit for somewhere in the neighborhood of one and a half years (Woodshed Smokehouse), my river rat (Shelby) asked the question that often gets asked when we are around a body of water: "Mom, if you were offered a job, would we really move to New Braunfels?".

My answer is always the same.

"Probably. If I was offered a job I really loved and it paid good, then I'd have to really think about it."

Her face turns to a big smile (which I'm sure if I ever do decide to move, I'd probably hear, "But I don't want to leave my friends!").

In her mind right now, she's running away from something things I've tried to tell her, exist everywhere.

Things like cliques of girls.

Don't get me wrong. It's not like it's a big issue in her life. She's perfectly fine. But what girl hasn't experienced "those girls" in their adolescence? As well as in their adult life?

I've told her it still exists at my age and it exists in every single town, big and small, in the world. They teach us about adversity. About dealing with others who are different. Many, many things. Life is just one big, fat lesson isn't it?

This is a place we chose to live so long ago. A place where I've made plenty of mistakes. A place I just see differently now (not worse, just different). A place I saw as quaint. A place I saw as small-town America. A place I thought I'd want to raise my kids. I see it a different now.

Funny how circumstances and life events change our outlook. It's still a good place. It is. It's just not somewhere I necesarily feel comfortable living anymore.

So as much as moving would be an exit for my kids; it would be a beginning for me.

A new beginning. In many ways a reunion.

I miss living in the Texas Hill Country. It's a slower way of life. It is more real. It is beautiful and peaceful. And of course these are my thoughts. I'm sure there are very fast-paced, materialistic people there, too. But if you have ever lived there...not just visited...it's different.

You can give me your unsolicited two-cent opinion of how I'm trading old problems for new ones. Or any number of things you may think you've thought of, but I've somehow overlooked. But before you do... I know my heart and it's felt this way for a very, very long time.

And it's part of what is missing in my heart.

And I will love the day I get it back.