FENG SHUI-ING MY LIFE

Maybe it's just me.

Maybe everyone else has their lives on auto-pilot and they just keep cruising along. I watch and listen to my friends. The ends and outs of their days. Their responsibilities. Their extracurricular activities. Those they choose to have in their lives (as well as those they chose not to have in their lives, as the case may be).

So maybe it is just me who feels like they're sometimes the equivalent of a hamster. Sleep. Eat. Run around on wheel. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. And then...what the hell is all this mess around me doing here?!

Sometimes I'm completely overwhelmed at the tidal wave of life I have coming at me. Other times I think, "Man...I've got it pretty damn good."

And in all honesty I do. Have it pretty damn good, that is.

I took a little time last night to reflect back on the past six months of my life and I noticed something of a pattern. Or at least a theme.

I seem to be minimizing things. Cleaning out my cage.

I'm cutting back on things. Resources. People. (And unfortunately, exercise. This is unacceptable.)

It's strange, as this has been oddly unintentional. I guess my subconscious saw a need to simplify and just started without my prior consent. From friends who are more fair-weathered than just plain fair; to love-interests whom I...come to find out...don't have as much in common with as I initially believed; to THINGS. I have a wild desire to get rid of so many things.

My mind seems to be wanting to let in the simple, uncomplicated things and people. For now, I can't handle the opposite.

If you cause me pain, confusion, instability...if I'm here for you anytime, but you're here for me when it's just convenient...if you cost me money and I'm not getting a return on my investment...if I haven't worn you in a long time, but you're still hanging in my closet...You're being, or already have been, released to spread your wings.

Is it even possible for you to purge your life and go through some type of equisential cleansing without even so much as pre-planning it?

The answer is Yes.

I love my job. I love my kids.

Now I'm working on loving me.

And apparently, I need things to be a bit more uncluttered around me for this to happen.