OH NO HE DI'INT

I've always prided myself on being a low-maintenance woman.

My wardrobe generally comes from Target, not Macy's or some boutique. Manicures lose out every time to field trip funds. My tan comes by virtue of finding time by the apartment pool or my Neutrogena spray tan in a bottle.

So today when a man called me 'high maintenance', I almost spit my drink all over him.

Excuse me? What did you say?

   You are, Terri. You're high maintenance.

Are you kidding me? I mean, you've got to be joking right now. You are joking, right?

   No, I'm not. From everything you've just said - High Maintenance. And he just laughed as if he had just told me the sun rises every day in the east and sets every day in the west and how could I not know this obvious information.


Let's backtrack, shall we?

We were having lunch, talking about what I expect from a man. From a partner. Actually the word I used was a "gentleman".

I stated that I have raised the bar in certain areas of my life. The way the person I'm in a relationship with treats me and the way I treat them was one of them. Why start off low THEN raise the bar and expect the person to do or say things they never did in the past when you first started out. I mean, where's this coming from? You were okay with it for the first six months!

Case in point: Opening the door for a woman. I think (now) that it is simply the right thing to do. It's being a gentleman.

I got met with, "Yeah sure, if it's a special date night, but if not...why can't you just open the door by yourself?"

That's not the point. The point is I appreciate being treated that way. Like, 'Here...you go first.'

    And that's where you become high maintenance.

How? How is that high maintenance?! I'm NOT high maintenance. You're just wrong. I don't expect everything to be done for me.

    Again that's it...high maintenance. You just said earlier you can get your own oil changed in your car, etc (yes, yes I had named several things earlier in the conversation I can do all-by-myself)  ...so how does that equal out? I mean how is a man supposed to know where one line ends and another begins as far as your independence? Should I do this? Will it offend her or does she in fact expect me to do it?  (And here's where the big, giant, stadium-sized light in my head illuminated with the intensity of a thousand suns). Terri...it's not the big things, or the obvious things that make you high maintenance. You're not that kind of high maintenance. It's the little things. The shades of gray.

Holy crap and crap. Could he actually be right? I can see where that would be confusing. And so I had to state the obvious.

Oooohhhh. I see where you're coming from. I never thought of it that way. But I can still drive my own damn car up to Jiffy Lube. And I still want the door opened for me.

    I'd make you open it yourself.

Then someone like you wouldn't make the cut.

    You got that right.

And I'm still not the kind of 'high maintenance' most people are talking about with that term.

    Oh my gosh.......stop.

So, yeah. I can maybe, kinda see where he MAY have been coming from on all this.



Always remember and never forget: Women are not moody. We simply have days when we are less inclined to put up with you.