WHITE FLAG THROWN

We teach our kids to be nice. Thoughtful. Careful. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Pretty much we want them to live by the Golden Rule.

As adults, most of us try to do the same thing. We learn to treat others the way we would like to be treated. Unfortunately, as we get older...there's a great deal of gray area here. Through the individual journeys that each brought us to where we are now, we understandably respond in different ways.

I would say I'm known as someone who considers others feelings. Yes...I feel very confident saying that. I would never intentionally hurt someone. In fact, I've taken on stress and pain when I shouldn't have. When I should have either fought back or been a lot more assertive.

So yesterday, as I got ready to go back to the hospital and be with a family member who had been through a tragic ordeal and almost died...I received a text.

The last time I received a text like this was on my birthday. Yes. My birthday. As I sat at an acute care clinic with my ill son.

I won't get into what it said. It isn't something I care to revisit. It was mean and very unnecessary. Of course, I think choosing to send a text for the sole purpose of tearing them down is always mean and unnecessary. But if the last word was what this person needed...consider it done. You win.

While some people say words can only hurt if you allow them to or if you agree with them, I disagree. To anyone who cares to listen, please hear this: Words cut deep. They create wounds that don't heal quickly, especially if they come from someone you've cared for. Once they are said, it takes time...but they can eventually be forgiven. However, they will probably never be forgotten, so choose what you want to say to someone (as well as *when* you choose to say it) very carefully.

I need to concentrate on my family. And I don't think that makes me selfish, disappointing or 'unbelievable'. I think it means my priorities are where they should be. There's someone lying in a hospital bed who isn't doing very well and needs me right now. There's my dad who is exhausted and in pain watching this happen to a loved one. There's my kids who are living their own, innocent lives and whom I'm trying to shield from all the little 'truths' going on around them. And then there are the people in my life who are praying for us and asking what they can do to help...these are the people I turn to. So I'll choose to listen to their words instead.


~And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. Luke 6:31