It’s something I don’t think I’ve ever been able to do…turn
off my brain. Whether it’s trying to sleep at night or just having a quiet
dinner alone, my thoughts keep turning.
This has proven to be both good and bad.
I’ve been desperately trying to redirect my thoughts when I start focusing on negative things. Like bills that keep coming in (the latest: the $200 I’ll spend today getting my ignition switch rebuilt and reinstalled into the steering column it fell out of this weekend). My kids: Am I being the best mom I can be? Is there something I could be doing different? Better? This one is recurring thought. My friends: Does everyone have “I’m here for you because you’re always here for me friends” as well as “I’m here for you when I need something, but when you do then I’m too busy” types of friends? I already know the answer to that one. My living situation: Is it true the townhomes I was planning on moving into are now switching into a different school zone that won’t enable my children to attend the schools they are attending now?
See? Always turning.
So I redirect my thoughts. And not just redirect them, but hand them over to someone who is always ready and willing to listen. Someone who is always there, even though I don’t necessarily make time for him as I should. He always answers when I call. Is never, ever too busy to let me bounce ideas off him or just get his opinion. He knows sometimes it’s just me and two kids so I need ‘adult’ conversation. I don’t want to bother him with petty things, but the thing is…he never thinks anything is petty. I’m eternally grateful for his presence in my life.
Thank you, God, for showing me the true meaning of friendship, of a relationship, of love, of compromise, of forgiveness, of gratitude, of selflessness, of when it’s time to release people and situations from your life that no longer provide a mutually beneficial presence and when to tie a knot (or 20) at the end of the rope and keep hanging on. And for countless more things.
When I direct my thoughts to Him and ask what He would do or what type of person/ friend would He be in a particular instance, I find peace. Every. Single. Time.
I’m trying my best to me a blessing in this life. To my kids. My friends. Strangers. And even to myself. And that one seems to be the toughest one of all.
This has proven to be both good and bad.
I’ve been desperately trying to redirect my thoughts when I start focusing on negative things. Like bills that keep coming in (the latest: the $200 I’ll spend today getting my ignition switch rebuilt and reinstalled into the steering column it fell out of this weekend). My kids: Am I being the best mom I can be? Is there something I could be doing different? Better? This one is recurring thought. My friends: Does everyone have “I’m here for you because you’re always here for me friends” as well as “I’m here for you when I need something, but when you do then I’m too busy” types of friends? I already know the answer to that one. My living situation: Is it true the townhomes I was planning on moving into are now switching into a different school zone that won’t enable my children to attend the schools they are attending now?
See? Always turning.
So I redirect my thoughts. And not just redirect them, but hand them over to someone who is always ready and willing to listen. Someone who is always there, even though I don’t necessarily make time for him as I should. He always answers when I call. Is never, ever too busy to let me bounce ideas off him or just get his opinion. He knows sometimes it’s just me and two kids so I need ‘adult’ conversation. I don’t want to bother him with petty things, but the thing is…he never thinks anything is petty. I’m eternally grateful for his presence in my life.
Thank you, God, for showing me the true meaning of friendship, of a relationship, of love, of compromise, of forgiveness, of gratitude, of selflessness, of when it’s time to release people and situations from your life that no longer provide a mutually beneficial presence and when to tie a knot (or 20) at the end of the rope and keep hanging on. And for countless more things.
When I direct my thoughts to Him and ask what He would do or what type of person/ friend would He be in a particular instance, I find peace. Every. Single. Time.
I’m trying my best to me a blessing in this life. To my kids. My friends. Strangers. And even to myself. And that one seems to be the toughest one of all.
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