I WANT...

Tomorrow is October 1st and tonight at the dinner table, Shelby started making her Christmas list. It went something like this: "I want... . And I also want... ." Ben sat across from her as we ate dinner and looked at her like, "Are you kidding me?"

He started to tell her...once again...the true meaning of Christmas and how it doesn't start with, "I want..." and I just laughed.

Ben: Why are you laughing? She's being kinda selfish.

Me: Ben...you have to remember that not only is she just nine, everyone is different. Some of the best people in this world made Christmas lists beginning with 'I want' when they were little. It doesn't mean they don't get what Christmas is about. It doesn't mean they are eternally selfish. I'm grateful you and Shelby are different. I'm thankful for the distinct qualities in each of you. It's natural for her to be different. Say different things. Do things you wouldn't. None of us are perfect and there's not a person in this world who can say they've never uttered the words 'I want'. You just have to be conscious not to make them a constant part of your vocabulary. God is smiling at her and knows it comes from an innocent place. He's not that rigid. He, thankfully, gets kids and knows it's not coming from a place of pure selfishness. She's just excited. She does plenty of things for others you know nothing about and would actually be very proud of her for doing.

Ben: True. True. I get it. Still, she could be a little less about her.

Me: ::::sigh::::


Everyone I know...everyone...has an "I Want" list. And if you say you don't, you're lying. L.Y.I.N.G. There's nothing wrong with it. Let's face it, it's all semantics. Goals. Wants. Wishes. Desires. Blah blah blah... .

In the spirit of pure selfishness...errrr...I mean goals, allow me to start:

I want...

• To make more money.
• To make more time for myself.
• To be healthy forever (I mean, as long as I'm wanting and all...why not?).
• For my kids to grow up grateful for both what they do have, as well as what they don't have.
• For my kids to grow up with a continual thirst for knowledge.
• For them to never put up with anyone or anything who/that treats them poorly or doesn't prove to be a benefit to their well-being.
• To get out of this apartment after my next lease is up.
• To get in shape!
• To be less concerned with others.
• To be able to meet a man who is honest, independent, lovable, financially secure (note I didn't say 'wealthy' as there's a huge difference) and who is steady and consistent.
• A new rug in my living room.
• A healthier diet.
• To start kickboxing again (on the short list already) and running. Again.
• To be more tolerant of others, but still not put up with crap.
• To take a vacation.
• To be courted.
• To watch karma happen. Or at least hear of it happening.
• For my left eye to get better vs. what it seems to be doing now.
• Win the lottery. (again...it's a wish list, right?!).
• To lose this insomnia.
• For the IRS to get it together.
• For Ben to lose his fascination for video games.
• For Shelby to gain a new appreciation for reading.
• For me to let you know most of the above really doesn't matter and I am thankful to have and remain fully committed to the two most precious gifts God gave me.
• To never lose sight of that.