What does a divorced, single-mom of two, foster mom to a Boxer named Rosie who is enduring heart worm treatment, living in a small apartment and constantly telling your kids, "Shhhhh! Don't stomp! People live below us!", solely dealing with the IRS for a debt that isn't yours, counseling your 9 year old daughter on particular people/relationships she's having a tough time understanding, trying to have real friends in your life who are there for you and not just asking for your help with they need something, living in 110+ degree Texas heat (::::::deep breath:::::::) AND on top of everything else, you lose your job?
You go swimming.
Shelby has been asking all week to go swimming. Simple request. Right?
But when you are juggling all the said things above, it's tough to reason it's okay to do that because I know all I need to do right now is find a job.
But that face. Her recent empty feeling of importance with others. The amazingly mature conversations we've been having, always with the preface of, "This is between me and you...right momma?"
You and I. Yes baby. I promise.
Today I closed my laptop. Left my phone behind. Pulled our hair up in ponytails. Made big cups of ice water. And we set out.
Hot doesn't even begin to describe the temperature outside today. We set a record-high in DFW today. Officially I think they said it was 108, but it was well over 110 here. (Did you know they take the official temp in the shade? Just FYI.)
After doing 342 flips. Jumping off my shoulders (my knees, my hands, my stomach...ouch) 231 times and over my knees and arms 154 times (this required me holding my legs and arms horizontal so I went ahead and counted it as a workout)...we headed back. Once home, I got a huge dose of reality and a reminder of the simple act a child needs. Individual attention.
I know. I know. We are all busy. Trying to do everything and then some. And even though I spend a great deal of one-on-one time with both of my kids, it's nice to know they notice when all is purposely set aside just for them. Looking back: very little time actually sacrificed to make a big impression.
Momma...thank you so much for making time for me.
Honey. Of course. Do I not make enough time for you?
Yes. You do. But thank you for doing it today when I asked. I asked because I needed you.
You don't always need me? Is that what you're saying? What's this?! (we laugh...'what's this' is one of our favorite lines from a Looney Toons show).
Of course I do! You know what I mean. I always know you love me. And that's a good feeling.
Again, I know it's not always the easiest task to just stop what you're doing when you're plate is full of work, responsibilities, etc... . Especially when there's one of you and two kiddos. But we do our best. Juggle with the skill of a one-armed person with two fingers. We get creative.
You smile when they ask to go out to eat and you can't afford it. Then employ their help in the kitchen, make it entertainment (as well as dinner) and dub them as your sous chefs.
I've (we've) been handed a ton of challenges these past few years. I know I have done everything to make lemonade out of lemons. Still, it's comical almost at the poop-on-a-stick things that keep rolling our way. I honestly believe some friends (as right now I use that word loosely) are probably thinking one person can't possible have these many crisis balls in the air without somehow inviting them to come one over. I promise you, that is not the case. This is simply my very, long, uphill climb on this rollercoaster of life. I know the downhill portion is around the bend. Somewhere!
I'm there for my friends when they need me. This I know. Whether it's updating their resume, doing graphics work (always for free), lending money if I have any, just listening when they feel like crying, or meeting them to have a drink when they need to vent. I'm there.
Like Shelby, I notice when the effort is reciprocated.
And also like her, I notice when it's not.
Always remember and never forget: Sacrifice is one of the purest and most selfless ways to show someone you care about them. Practice it daily.
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