My Little Man

We went to the pool today to have a little "reunion" with some of the kids friends. As soon as we got there, it was apparent there were more of Ben's friends than Shelby's. I thought...oh boy. Shelby's gonna pout while Ben runs off and plays.

What happened next both shocked me and made my heart feel as if someone was crumpling it like a piece of paper.

Instead of going to play with his friends, Ben stuck by me.

"What are you doing?"

"I'll just stay with you until you go in."

"Why?"

He *loves* playing with his friends. Always has. Actually, this kid is known for introducing himself to kids he doesn't know and has always become fast friends with everyone he meets.

"I don't know... . Do you not want me with you?"

"Honey...of course I do. But we came so you could see your friends. What's stopping you?"

I never could get a straight answer. I have suspicions of why. Part of it involves the kids were already playing and maybe he felt a little left out (though this is just NOT Ben) to he feels very protective over me lately. Maybe he thought I'd be sitting alone and didn't want me to be. But even when I sat by the other moms...he stayed there with me.

Could be he was just out of sorts a little. He warmed up later on and did play with them some. But the way the day started off hurt my heart in a profound way. He's always been such a happy, care-free kid and while I KNOW he's going to grow up...I don't want him to lose that happiness in him that's always been there.

Watching them get older is both thrilling and painful. Especially my sweet boy who wants to take on so much. He wants to "be the man". Which I suppose I should appreciate to a degree, but all I want him to do is be a 10 years old. He will have to be a man soon enough and I know he will relish the role.

But for now, I'm going to have to try and emphasize...somehow...of just how great of a 10 year old he is. And *that* is precisely what I need him to be. My little boy for just awhile longer.