Life Done Right

I had a conversation yesterday that reminded me of my parents. More precisely, of the way they lived their lives.

We lived in Wichita Falls and after a Spring chocked full of tornadoes, Summer would usher in raging hot temperatures. Once the sun went down, you could almost always find my parents sitting in the back yard in their fold-out lawn chairs, just hanging out, looking at the stars, maybe having a beer and spending time together. The smell of distant cook-outs, bug spray, and courtesy of me...suntan lotion. It all came together forming one perfect summer fragrance.

There are definitely other things they could have done. Other places they could have been. I recently asked my dad about this because I wanted to make sure the memories I had were right. They were.

He said spending money, impressing others, was just never their style. They made the choice to re-connect at night. It wasn't every night, but it was often and where they had their conversations, reflections and talked about future plans. The stars in the Texas sky have a way of doing that to you. Bringing out the dreamer. On particular nights, I remember, the stars seemed so close I almost felt like if I was sneaky enough, I could grab one.

These days the television takes away the opportunity to have conversations. To even have a chance to reconnect. Add in the internet, texting, telephones ringing, XBox, Wii's and any other number of electronics and you see what I mean. Our busy, busy lives take over and we get lazy. My parents could have made the choice to plop themselves on the couch and have been glued to the tv (not to say they didn't make it inside by time Johnny Carson came on!), but they didn't. Instead, they put effort into themselves. Into life. Into dreaming. Talking. Relaxing.

They preferred the simple life. They often referred to others who were continuously purchasing new cars, bigger houses, going on numerous and often extravagant vacations as "The Jones". And they were not the least bit interested in keeping up with them. For example, if they ever did get something new, it was for us (or them!). They didn't call anyone to tell them. They didn't want it to seem as if they were bragging. They were just happy and proud for having it. Because they worked for it. Whatever 'it' may have been.

Instead, you would often hear them say, once reclined in their lawn chairs, "Ahhhhhhhh...I wonder what the poor folk are doing right now?!" And every time...they'd laugh. Their definition of "rich" never had anything to do with money. They had no idea at the time what the future would bring. Their time together would be cut short due to the cancer growing unknowingly in my mom's body. Thankfully, what they did know is what life was all about and they relished it and put effort into it. They had fun. Even just by sitting in the back yard.

Our summer vacations were never at 5-star locations, but they were always 5-star fun. They set the bar high as far as how I envisioned how a family should be, the commitment it took and just what "the good life" really meant. As simple as it was, my dad tells me it took work on their part not to give into others around them who encouraged a more extravagant lifestyle. He also told me he never expected it to be zero work. "Terri, that's just not how life is. You don't appreciate the good if you don't have the bad. Therefore you can't appreciate the 'easy' times without having to put in some hard work." My dad the philosopher. :-)

Today, as I look at my family, there are tons of things I'd do different. Who wouldn't? But since I can never seem to find the gear for "reverse my life, please", I instead am extremely grateful to have the "here and now" button available. I can learn from mistakes I made in the past and choose to live my life with eyes wide open so I don't repeat those mistakes.

I can aim for goals I know will benefit me and those around me and not live in fear of the unknown.

I can rest assured knowing if I give everything I have and then some, I'm more likely to reach these goals than if I never tried. It doesn't mean it's going to be easy. Nothing worth having is. On top of that, it shows my kids how to strive for these things too. It's how I hope they live their lives (both now and in the future) and what I hope they put work into.

Yep...my parents did it right. It never occurred to me that I'd be looking back on them one day saying, "I hope my life falls along a similar path." But here I am doing just that.

Longing for some folding chairs and a star-filled sky.

Always remember and never forget: Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies. ~ Ann Landers