Can I Just Get a Shot?

My Belle is sick and I absolutely hate it. She is passed out next to me, wanting to stick close, as my kiddos usually do when they're sick, and I can feel the heat radiating off her even though I'm not touching her.

Tested her for flu. Negative. Though he said we could've tested too early. If her symptoms continue (they are...and getting worse), told us to test her again. Going tomorrow. I desperately want my baby to feel better. That's what we're supposed to do as moms - make it all better. And fast. Right?

She asked me earlier if there was just some shot or something she could get that would make her feel better quicker. Wow. You DO feel bad, asking for a shot. "No baby...unfortunately we may have to wait this one out."

I'm not good at that either. Waiting. Patience. But trying hard to get better at it.

Those quick-fix days are far and few between as adults. I don't know if it's God's way of saying, "I gave you the gift of life. I never said it would be easy.". I feel as if He's constantly trying to teach me something and I'm constantly not getting it. Gee...patience maybe?! Where's my shot? I'll take one of those, please. Umm...He said, No. That I heard loud and clear, thank you.

No, that's not going to happen. This is "roll up yer sleeves" time. Get down and dirty. Don't be afraid to fight. I've applied for all kinds of jobs in the last few months. Few left me with any excitement of anything I'd really love to do, but like I said...it's time to get down to it. My family comes first and that is an unwavering commitment for me. I believe I've made as much money as I can make consulting from home, designing printing items, and those ever-popular bottlecap necklaces. Of course, I'm either over-qualified for jobs I KNOW I could do or the jobs in my field just aren't there. Will I ever get to write that book I have always wanted to write?

This economy has been horrible for so many. For instance, if you are self-employed, health insurance is now a big fat luxury. At least GOOD health insurance is. You know, the kind with co-pays and Rx coverage. Yeah - that kind. I won't get political at this point. Not what this post is about.

And, then if I DO get a job out of the house, there's childcare to think about. Will the kids like that? Not at first. But we'll find a way to make it fun. I'll keep telling myself that anyway. Do any of their friends go to childcare? Not that I know of. They'll make some new friends. No quick fix here either.

My sweet little girl is laying next to me so sick and my heart hurts for her. She's talking in her sleep and disoriented because of her high fever (yes...of course, I'm giving her medicine) but it won't bring it down below 101. I want a quick fix for her. There's nothing worse than your babies being in pain or feeling awful and looking to their Mommy for help and I can't take it all away at the snap of my fingers. Thankfully I take enough away with medicine, cold washcloths, cold drinks (WITH fresh ice, please!) and lots and lots of loving that they do think I'm magical to some degree. Whew. I know the powers of my magic wand will become quite limited as my kids continue to grow up, but I hope they always feel like they can come to me and expect unfaltering love.

As an adult I understand that everything worth having is worth putting effort into. And I'm willing to do that. Sometimes the "effort" is fun and sometimes it's the kind you work at. I obviously want my kiddos to understand all this, too. There is absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for them, including trying my best to be a good role model for them. That includes showing them how to handle the twists and turns of life. I'm not perfect and I point that out to them regularly. "Hey look guys. I learned something new today when I made that mistake," is something I say a lot to them. Even as parents, we aren't supposed to be perfect, but kids don't get that. And I'm not flashy in the way I do things - that I'm sure of - but I don't give up. So when those twists and turns come at me, I want them to know I did my best to push through and ride them as best I could when there was no 'shot' available. When the wind gets rough, I do my best to lean into it. I want them to SEE all of this. There's no room to talk-the-talk here. Kids know. You have to walk-the-walk when it comes to them. While some things in life may take work, it is worth the ride and they will be so proud of themselves. Life, love, careers, relationships, you name it...all takes work. All worth it. And...No shot available. And you know what...that's okay. We shouldn't be afraid or scared of the effort. When I'll be scared is when my kids start to look for the easy or "flashy" way out of things. Those are usually the "too good to be true" things in life. No thank you.

No, I can't make their fevers magically go away. I've never been a good magician anyway. BUT, I'm good at the real stuff. I can let them know I'm here, I'm helping, I love them and I'm not going anywhere. Now - it's time to flip Belle's wet rag over to the cool side. That's what mommy's do. And this job...I LOVE. I applied for it along time ago and am thrilled He hired me and put His trust in me to try and do right by them. These benefits are incalculable. Family is IT in my book. It's a gift not everyone is blessed with and I get that. And I soak up every day I'm blessed to be with mine. If it wasn't clear enough already, circumstances of recent months have made it crystal clear to me.

So while we may not get to offer quick-fixes to our kids, I remind myself that's okay. That's not the lesson they need to learn. And time spent with my little ones is precious and goes by so quick. There are so many things already I'd do different, given the chance. And then I remember, we can't move toward the future walking backward. I was given the stumbles to learn to work through them. Not get a shot for them. I've just got to do my best. Material things come and go. Family is forever and is the only thing in this great world we can't replace. Embrace it:



One final note: As I gave Belle a fresh washcloth, I asked if she was ready for me to put her in bed and she answered, "NO! The Cowboys are on! Momma...I gotta watch 'em." Then she turned and went to sleep. LOVE the early emergent loyalty, baby girl!