Really? Dr. Phil? Who'da Thunk It...

As my Belle left the living room after school yesterday, with the TV on (thank you very much), I decided to see if the weather was on yet and put it on a local channel without checking the guide.

Dr. Phil was on. Wasn't his show cancelled? Guess not.

Now, normally, you wouldn't catch me ever watching Dr. Phil. Don't know why. It's not like I hate the guy. I think other people's turmoil just makes me uncomfortable and I look for the uplifting/entertainment. Or the weather, in this case.

But almost exactly as I put it on the channel yesterday, he was talking to two parents and said something that has stuck with me and I agree with.

He said children have two types of people in their lives. Primary and secondary role models. As parents, we are obviously primary. He added that being a parent has two characteristics. Responsibility: which we must acknowledge. Meaning, sometimes we don't put our needs/wants first. In other words, I may not get to go do as many "me" things as I would if I weren't a parent because I put the needs of my child/family first. The other is Priveledge - which we should *always* consider as the ultimate characteristic. Because it is an extreme priveledge to be a parent.

So many people out there are fighting for the chance to be a parent. A mommy. A daddy. To be able to smell that soft little head of fuzzy hair as we rock them to sleep. Watch the multitude of firsts in their lives. Wipe away all the debris that seems to form in all their little crevices! I know we worked deligently at it. And eventually we got what we worked so hard for. Two precious children.

I spoke with a friend yesterday who is unfortunately going through the ups and downs of trying to be a parent. She called me because she's had another miscarraige and knows I've gone through my share of them, to say the least. She just wanted an ear and I took the opportunity to give her some advice.

I told her to not lose sight of the fact they are trying to have a 'family', not just a baby. It's so, so easy to do that. I got lost in that. It becomes so medical and when you have the personality of someone who is used to accomplishing things they work hard for, it becomes even that much easier to get lost in something else and actually drift further from what you initially set-out to do. Create a family.

Thankfully the tide turned and I know my family is the most important thing in the world. The only thing I can't replace.

Family is more than just people living under the same roof. It's connecting. It's doing things together. It's sometimes sacrifice. It should always be supporting. It's laughing. Crying. Loving. Hurting. Comforting. Enjoying. All rolled into one. You never know what each day will bring, but you know for sure your family will be there with you to experience it all. It's just part of the deal.

So, Dr. Phil...on this occassion at least, I agree with you. Kudos for your advice to those parents who lost track of their roles. We could all use to be reminded of that every now and then.

Go hug your little miracles.

Sweet Replies

Have I mentioned I know the sweetest boy in the world? AND did I also mention he just happens to be my son? Well...yes...I may be a bit biased, but he raises my happy level all the time and has been known to genuinely give me the giggles for the 'littlest' things.

He's also been know to touch my heart so that he already knows the water works are impending. "That's gonna make you cry, isn't it mom?". Yep. Pretty much.

This weekend, he and D were playing video games in our bedroom and I walked through the room to put something up in the bathroom. Ben always, *always* acknowledges me when I walk through a room. This time was no different.

"'Sup mom?"

"Not much Ben, just putting some things away. Whatcha doin?" (knowing full well he's playing video games with his dad).

But his reply was not what I was expecting and everything I wanted to hear all at the same time, "Not much. Just hangin out with my best friend."

Awwwwwwww! GOD he loves his daddy. Idolizes him. Watches every move. Every word. Memorizes him.

Later while we were sitting on the couch talking with D's mom, Ben snuggled up between us and I kept playing with his hair while Nana just rubbed his feet.

"Why are y'all rubbing all over me?" he asked laughing.

"Because you are finally sitting still with us instead of playing video games or somewhere else in the house!" I answered.

D's mom went on to tell us a story where at one point in D's life, he asked her to kind of keep her distance from him in public so he wouldn't be embarrassed being seen with his mom. :-) Nothing too unfamiliar for a youngster, right?

Ben looked shocked, but with a smile on his face. She told him she was just warning me in case Ben ever did that to me, though we both doubted he ever would (trying to convince him not to!).

Once again, a reply he whispered in my ear that I will always keep in my heart..."You're my mom! I love you and will always want to be with you. I'll always have your back, too, mom." then winked at me.

Same to you, sweet Ben. xoxoxoxoxo

Experience Amputation?

Awhile back, a friend of mine told me she was going to have a "Spa Day" at her house. Not just your ordinary spa day, mind you. No, this one would come complete with a medical aesthetician and the opportunity to have Botox or Juvederm injections and even EPI Dermal Blading (what the what is THAT?!).

After she told me about this, I pulled out my handy makeup mirror that magnifies everything by 78 million percent and took a good, long look.

Ooooooooooooh.

I needed work. I wanted work. I want to look good. I want to look closer to the age I feel.

Time and stress have stomped all over my face and it shows.

So I recruited advice from D and he replied, "It's your face. If you want it, do it." followed closely by, "But you don't need it...you look good". Hmmmmm...what to do?

So, after weighing the pros-and-cons, I've come to a decision.

It's not my time for this treatment for many reasons. Namely I could be spending that money on so many other things right now. The ones who love me know the roadmap on my face comes from life experiences and those experiences are what has made me into the me I am today. Hopefully, the little lines and wrinkles don't stand out as significantly as they seem to, to anyone but me. Plus, with my luck..I'd have some reaction to it and end up spending MORE money going to my dermatologist and getting chewed out for doing it in the first place (and believe me...if you knew my dermatologist, she would ream me up one side and down the other).

Regardless, I'll just have to keep working on other parts of me for now. The really important parts. The ones that don't always show, but that is hopefully noticed by those close to me.

The removal of my experiences will have to wait for now... .

Gimme a Break

This past week was a whirlwind of...well...not a whole lot. It was Spring Break 2010 (woohoo!). I remember when that week meant p-a-r-t-y to me. I only went to South Padre once (where we used to go 'back in the day'). Nowadays, people actually take some fairly pricey vacations.

I know. I know. I was in college and S. Padre *was* the ultimate destination at the time, but I really don't remember Spring Break being a big deal when I was in grade school (did we even have one?!). Regardless, my kids came home from school the Friday before Spring Break asking, "So where are we going?". When I answered "Ummm...nowhere." their expressions were all, "huh?". I was informed of all their friends going to various places all over the world (literally) and I told them, "Well...we aren't going out of town because I have to work. BUT...I promise I'll try and make it fun if you do.". A deal was struck and the Break began.

We really did nothing in particular, but I got to spend time with them. You know...play Legos, paint nails, talk, color, reorganize rooms, talk, take them and a couple friends to Chuckie Cheese (yes..I am a VERY nice mom), buy new bikes, ride them up at the school parking lot since our street is more like a race track and there is simply NO WAY I'm letting my kids ride up and down the sidewalks of this street for any length of time. They were patient as I still had to work and never complained about not going out of town.

We ended Spring Break 2010 with a snowball fight yesterday morning and it was excellent. Yes...it actually snowed (on *Spring* Break) anywhere from 4-6 inches I guess. Even though it was 70+ days before. Whatevs...it was fun pelting snow balls at my kids (and getting pegged too many times to mention).

Being that it is officially over and school is back in session - they are tired and cranky. Hence... I just threatened Shelby with keeping her in 1st grade vs. letting her go to 2nd if she doesn't stop whining and start acting more mature only to be followed by telling Ben he is NOT a parent and doesn't need to talk to me or anyone else in the house as such. Remarkably...they both apologized. A break, of sorts, continues...