CHAOS, TOMOATOES AND STRENGTH

Yes, you have to get up I know you are tired so am I but it's Tuesday and you have school and I have work and no I don't sleep all day when you leave and conveniently wake up in time to come get you at school dismissal even though my sleep is a valuable commodity it's only valuable to me and I don't get paid for it...I don't think that project resume I just completed will send properly to our client via email so I need to rework that...and yes Shelby I do know the feeling when you don't want to do something you have to do and I get you don't think it's fair but you have to go to school and I have to work...i forgot to make my doctor's appointment again and this pain in my side is never going to go away if I don't go see the doctor...don't forget your lunches and Ben have fun at Sandy Lake Park today sing great be safe here's five extra dollars for a snack in case you need one and for tickets in case you want to ride more rides...did I reschedule Ben's shots for 7th grade...Shelby you will go to Sandy Lake Park in sixth grade and yes I know it's not fair to you that he's going to 'play' and you have school...God please watch over Ang, Em and Girlie on their trip to NYC...guys please eat your breakfast so we aren't late you told me you wanted cereal this morning so eat it I'm having taboule when I get back home so don't complain...you look beautiful today Belle you're welcome Ben for having your choir shirt clean and hanging up and having the 'fresh-out-of-the-dryer smell'...I really think this is the lowest my bank account has been in a long time how am I going to do this...give me communication reports to sign if you didn't last night...that blue jay better get off my veranda and away from the plants...I have got to get to Callaways this week and get the citronella plants to help with that...I miss Duke, Scout, Charlotte...let's load up in the car and go after I clean up the coffee I just spilled on my shirt oh never mind it doesn't matter.....

Most mornings are just like this. Continual. Never stopping. Never slowing down. From the moment the alarm goes off, it's go-go-go around here. It can sometimes start the day off with an overwhelming feeling, but I've learned it doesn't have to.

When I get home from dropping them off at school, I make it a point to sit down for about 30-45 minutes and catch up on my news with a fast-forward through the DVR portion of Good Morning America, have my coffee, sit on the veranda and read what God has planned for my day in my morning devotional.

Today He told me I was weak. That's right. As strong as I've been leading myself to believe I am, He just told me I'm weak. And He's right.

"I am a mighty God. Nothing is too difficult for me...Your weakness is designed to open you up to My Power...I am not a careless God. When I allow difficulties to come into your life, I equip you fully to handle them. Relax in My Presence, trusting in My Strength."

I looked up from reading and instead of doing what He just told me, I started thinking about the obstacles I needed to overcome today. Instead of the joys I get to experience today. Until I saw this...

Life is everywhere. Trying its best to grow. Strengthen. Bloom. Change is always tough, but worth it when it's necessary. It's little reminders that keep us trudging ahead. Storms build and eventually wreak havoc sometimes when we least expect it, but without them we wouldn't have rainbows.

Something or someone is always going to be on the sidelines waiting to take advantage of the hard work of others. Or try and sell it as their own, knowing full-well they had nothing to do with the labor it took to nurture and grow the fruit. And so we tell ourselves it doesn't matter. At least the fruit is there. It's beautiful and we have reason to be proud of the success. WE know who gave the blood, sweat and tears and that's all that matters. Or does it?

For the past week, a beautiful blue jay has been sitting in that ever-so-peaceful Eastern Redbud tree that overlooks my veranda...eyeing my tomato and strawberry plants...but I see an invader. Yes, you are beautiful. Yes, your sound is appealing. Yes, you look to be harmless. But beware. I will protect what I've worked hard to grow with a vengeance, if I have to. Distance is necessary for you and you should think twice about coming any closer. I've just about had enough of your nonsense.

I too look nice. I too can sound sweet. I may look too busy to be noticing what's going on right under my nose, but I'm done with working hard and having it being taken advantage of. Comprende' Mr. Blue?

You may think I'm weak...and I may be by some standards...but I know Someone Strong. And He is watching you, too. And just as I protect mine...He protects me. And I have a feeling He's just about had enough, as well.

Good observation. I'm not just talking about the blue jay.

Always remember and never forget: "So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin." James 4:17

HAPPY 9TH BIRTHDAY, BELLE

Thank you God for this miracle.
And for letting her be okay with not being a 'girly-girl'!

Nine years ago today, I was immensely blessed with the most beautiful, blond-haired, blue-eyed baby girl. And as I probably write every year, she was just the best baby. Poor girl had reflux like nobody's business. She could seriously hit a target with her projectile throwing-up from 30 paces. Then, like the true champ she is, would grin ear-to-ear.

She still has that get-up-and-go spirit about her. Truth be told, I was so nervous about having a girl. I've always been a sort-of tomboy, at least not a girly-girl, and wasn't sure how I was going to raise a little girl. Especially when I saw her. She was gorgeous and I thought, "What am I gonna do with THIS?!"

Fast-forward nine years to yesterday. It was Mother's Day and the card she made me said a lot about the kind of person she is becoming. While her words were meant for me, I was so proud of what she said for her. And while it did let me know I must not be doing too bad as a mom of a little girl, most importantly it told me about her compassionate heart, her will to succeed and her loving spirit. (I especially love the way she ended it...shows me she's got some of me in her for sure!).


Dear Mom,

I just want to tell you Happy Mother's Day. I love you so much and here are some reasons why:

You make dinner for me.
You will always believe in me, no matter what.
You help me feel safe at night.
You're always there when I need you.
You will do anything for me.
You encourage me to do new things.
You say to me, "When you fall off a horse, get back on!"
You love me in every way.
You are very nice when I've had a bad day.
You are always there to pick me up.
And you are my mom so you better be proud!
Together forever.

I love you, Shelby.


I love you more every single day, my sweet, strong and a little-bit-sassy girl. I wouldn't change a thing about you except to have you see more of the amazing things in you that I see. Don't ever doubt yourself and don't ever lower the bar you've set very high.

So, my Shelby-Belle, I just want YOU to know...Happy 9th Birthday. I hope it's your happiest year yet and every year hereafter just gets better and better. I'm proud to be your momma (and love that you still call me that about 100 times a day!).

I love you more (yes I do...yes I do...yes I do),
Momma

I'VE LEARNED AND I KEEP LEARNING...

I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.
I've learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life.
I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back.
I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.
I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Maya Angelou

ARMS ARE GETTIN' TIRED, SO I'M LETTIN' GO

I'm going to say something "we women" never really like to admit.

We like to be taken care of.

Let me elaborate.

We don't want everything done for us. We don't expect to be treated as someone incapable of doing things. But sometimes...just sometimes, we like to be treated like something more amazing than we actually are. A queen. A rock star. The only person in the world. Here's the kicker...all without having to be told to do so. Surprise us. Make the plans. Plan an escape. (And please...please...do not use the lame excuse of, "If I planned something you may not like it so it's just easier to ask you..." Pfffffffft! Note the word "easy".)

It's something I have definitely had a tough time admitting. Whenever asked in the past by a man, "You need some help?" the answer was always an instinctive, "No...I got it." And you know why? Because I didn't feel like they should even have to ask. Just do it! Did I just get back from the grocery store and have a truck-load of groceries? Yes...help me. Of course.

I'm cooking dinner, helping kids with homework, phone is ringing..."Can I do anything?"...Really? Is that a legitimate question? Of course you help!

But I guess that's where assuming gets you. Life isn't a game, so we shouldn't assume the other person knows what we need or want. There are no pre-printed rules. No step-by-step guide.

So let me now be clear. Sometimes I need help. I can do plenty of things by myself, but if you are a man...go the step further and be a gentleman. I don't give a rats ass if you were raised that way or not. Step beyond your little solar system world rotating around your head and wake up.

All of this stems from a simple task yesterday.

I called Ben down, as I always do, when I pulled in with groceries yesterday and as soon as he got down there he asked, "Why doesn't Shelby have to help?" He was playing a video game and didn't want to stop what he was doing.

My answer, "Because you and I can get this in one trip and because I asked you to do it. Ben...this is part of not just being a good person, but also being a gentleman. And you need to get into the HABIT of being one. If you see someone who needs help with something, drop what you are doing and help. You can go right back to doing whatever it was, but it's more important to help someone. You never know what just the smallest amount of effort can mean to someone else."

"Yes ma'am, mom. You're right. Thanks ... because I do want to be that kind of man. I mean I will be." then smiles really big, proud and stands up tall next to me to remind me once again he's close to surpassing me in height. Not far at all.

He's such an amazing young man. He went on to actually apologize for a word he used the other day (won't get into it...another time, another post,but no it wasn't a 'cuss' word...just not a politically correct one that he'd heard another adult use so he thought it was okay) and how he basically said he thinks it's the little things that say a lot about a person. "I can't believe I even said it! I knew it would hurt someone's feelings. I'm glad I said it in front of you first, mom."

I couldn't agree more, Ben.

So I'll quit pretending I don't need help and you start taking the reigns on certain things. As much fun as the monkey bars are, sometimes you just have to let go and drop in order to move on.