WORDS ARE THE VOICE OF THE HEART

You must pay for everything in this world, one way and another.
There is nothing free except the grace of God.

I love that quote. And while the subject matter doesn't really have anything to do with what I'm writing about...the fact it's a great quote does. Some quotes or words you hear and they instantly bury themselves in your head and your heart. They dig in and make themselves at home. You remember when you heard them. Where you heard them. The way it sounded. The way you felt. It's just that simple.

Others you can hear a million times and then one day go, "Ohhhhhhh! I get it!". Maybe it just never applied to you before so you didn't listen too close. Maybe it just took that long to make sense. Maybe you were having a blond moment, as I often get accused of having. Whatever the case...I'm a quote girl. Give me your words.

Written. Said. Implied. It's all good.

I've gotten better at reading between the lines, but since that is always a dangerous game to play, I'm much more comfortable with the straight-forward approach. Some people are uncomfortable with saying what they are thinking, but I find it extremely refreshing and honest. That's right...say what you mean and mean what you say. Gee...I've never said that before, have I? It will 'wow' me every, single, blasted time.

And I love it when people's words and thoughts start to tie closely together the more time you spend with each other. You end up getting some kind of "mojo" working. For example: me and Ang. Can't tell you how many times I've been thinking, "I need to call her" and my phone will ring or a text will come through. Or vice versa. And every time we are a little "wow'd" and say, "That is so weird...I was literally picking up the phone to call you." Or when she's on the road traveling to Houston, *inevitably* I will call her when she has stopped to go to the restroom (TMI maybe, but it's true). I'm telling you people it never fails! I think it's happened 50 times if it's happened once.

Science would call it "telepathy: the transfer of information on thoughts or feelings between individuals by means other than the 'five classic senses' ". Others call it "a God thing". I prefer the latter because Ang and I have never tried to transfer this info; it just happens. Plus, I love noticing God-things without having to be hit over the head with a hammer. When He says, "Hello...I'm trying to tell you something" and I answer, "I actually heard you this time...are you shocked?! And by the way...thank you".

Or when you are in a conversation with someone and they dang near quote something you said while with someone else and you know there's no way they could have been privy to the info, so you just kind of stop, stare and say, "I'm sorry...what did you just say?!". I get chills when that happens. Especially if it keeps happening. Absolutely love it. See? No hammer required.

I guess my love of words, communication and knowing where I stand (and moreover where I want to stand) are reasons I love to write so much. Get it out of my head and make room for something else to take up that space.

And while I've had quite the swirling brain of thoughts lately; some thoughts are very, very clear...thankfully.

I know what makes me smile. I know what doesn't. I know how to love my kids and learn new things every day that make them smile. I know if I take the time to look at things through their young, untainted eyes...I'm able to view situations much more clearly. Innocently. Lovingly. Fairly. Did I mention thankfully?

Though so.

LISTS, GOALS AND PRECIOUS LITTLE PEOPLE

I was determined to have a productive day today. I had a list of items to complete, including having to work (which will also be completed tonight after kiddos are in bed) and a short amount of time to fit it all into.

We all have days like that.

You know what they say: The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray.

No kidding.

Good news is I got it all done. It just took more effort than I planned. And it started with a series of events I wasn't counting on coming my way. No problem. Deal and move on, right?

Then it hit. I met with someone who asked me to set a series of goals for myself. Goals of the woman I want to be. The mother I want to be. The friend I want to be. The role model I want to be. The partner I want to be. Everything.

As we sat there talking, it must have been obvious from the look on my face I hadn't come as far as I'd thought I had. "Don't doubt yourself!" she almost yelled, leaning toward me. I thought she was going to come off her chair. "That attitude and talk ends today."

"What?"

"The doubt and talk of you not giving yourself enough credit. Where you are giving power over to others who don't know the whole story. They couldn't possibly. People who make assumptions, most very off base, about a life that isn't any of their business and you're right in that you don't have to explain. I have seen a huge change in you over the past two years. HUGE! Now we are going to make you see it too and to heck with everyone else!" I have to admit. That part made me laugh.

I have absolutely no idea why I care what other people think I am doing in my life. Why they feel the need to make asumptions. Ask personal questions. I know what I'm doing and I'm perfectly at peace with it. "It is well with my soul..." as the song goes.

I DO know why I doubt myself. Why my confidence stinks. Why trust is huge bag I've been lugging around and placing in between me and situations/people. I'm ready to take people and things at face value, but I keep getting reminded of the "sneaky" and game-playing.

I know setting the goals will help. Actually writing them down on paper. It just feels like taking 10 steps back to take one step forward. You gotta start somewhere, right? And at least I am take a proactive step versus sitting around just waiting for something to happen. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

I kept asking one question: "How?"

And the answer was the same: "You just keep trying. You're closer than you think."

For the most part, I am proud of "me". I'm anxious to have that mind-over-matter attitude many others I know seem to possess. I'll get there. In THAT I actually am confident about. Just *impatient* me wants it to happen yesterday. As Kim would say, "Shocker!".

I'm thankful these two precious little people keep me as focused as they do. Oh my word am I thankful for them. Even when the little stinker in them comes out, I'm reminded they're just kids. Going through an adjustment like I am. And...one day, this will all be a blur. Somewhat anyway. I read a quote yesterday that said, "When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on so long in the first place."

I remember exactly why so I'll keep on keeping on. Very worth it indeed.

Always remember and never forget: I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. ~Jimmy Dean

SUPER BOWL PAR-TAY

Watching the television just now, they are showing almost every celebrity here in our Big D walking into the Super Bowl. Not to mention clips from all the parties last night.

I remember we used to go to Super Bowl parties...it was just a given. Of course, Dallas was in quite a few of them, so even more reason to celebrate.

Yesterday, with the sun finally out and two silly kids in a great mood, we made some chili in the afternoon and just hung out. As I look forward to tonight, and doing exactly what I did last year, I'm making my grocery list for what the kids and I traditionally eat this fine day.

Queso
Chips
Big Red
Brownies

What? It's tradition!

I had the chance to go to one of those parties in Downtown last night, but just couldn't see it. Call me old (don't you dare), but the roads were starting to get slick again and all I could think of was getting home. Plans had unfortunately started falling apart early on of what I had planned on and what I had really wanted to do. And now the plans being offered vs. the plans I had thought were going to happen were at two totally different ends of the spectrum and I couldn't wrap my head around that drastic of a change.

See? I'm boring. :-)

And if boring is watching the Super Bowl with two awesome kids, eating queso, drinking Big Red and laughing at the commercials...then I'm thrilled with the title. Bring it on.

The diet starts tomorrow...:-)

WORDS ACCORDING TO SHELBY

We call them "Shelbyisms". Things she says, words she makes up...anything that is funny and I want to remember forever. Obviously, this isn't all of them. but sweet girl...you crack me up!

I've decided my new name is Yo-Yo.

Have you ever wondered what's inside a bowling ball?

If I don't become a jockey when I grow up, I'm just going to win the lottery. And I'll buy a ranch. And you can live there. If you babysit my kids. Okay?

When you rub my feet it gives me good chillybumps.

Where's the merote so I can turn on the tv?

You wanna fustle?! (aka wrestle)

I didn't think I'd like exparagus, but I do!

"Hey Shelby, why don't we do your homework now?"..."Yeah mom...like that's gonna happen!"

Mommy...did you know you're the best mom I've ever had?

Come here and gimme some sugahhhhhhhh!

When I'm older, I'm just going to take over Giada's house and her show. That'll be fun.

You know what you get when you go camping on Friday the 13th and see a bear?..."what?"...Mom! You shouldn't go camping on Friday the 13th! That's not lucky!......whaaaaaa???? :-)