I know one thing that needs to change in 2013...I need to get more sleep!
I have got to figure out a way to turn off my brain and catch some zzzz's. The last time I looked at the clock before falling asleep it said 5:58 a.m.
I started going through my Twitter account only to find messages that had been sent to me and I had no idea about. Those messages only led to some frustrating realizations about people I didn't know were on Twitter or I felt bad because I didn't get back to their messages to me...or I regretted seeing some things said on Twitter. Really?
Back to the sleep part...Granted, I can operate on 4-5 hours of sleep. It's actually about the norm for me. Probably more like five. But I have always been a girl who needs 8 hours to be at my best. My current sleeping regime isn't healthy!
Of course, last night my brain kept circling around a few central subject matters.
Subject One: A family member who has almost died twice in the past two weeks and if she doesn't change her way of life, seems both destined and hell-bent to exit this world. How do you convince someone they're making horrible choices? How do you get through to them when they refuse to believe they even have a problem?
Subject Two: My kids and how my lack of a social life with the parents of their friends inadvertently has an impact on things they are included in on. More so with Shelby since she's younger. Seventh graders don't really do 'playdates', ya know! :) Unfortunately, I can't host play dates after school since I work. She is fortunately invited to play with a couple friends whom I LOVE. Sweet girls and as long as she's with quality vs. quantity...that's all that is important.
Subject Three: Why do I feel the need to be liked and friends with everyone? When I know I have done all I can do in a particular situation...regardless of what the other person thinks...and I've gone over my words, actions, everything with a fine tooth comb and have prayerfully and carefully made decisions...why can't I just let it go? I'm a good person, dammit! I try to never hurt anyone on purpose and for someone to think otherwise either doesn't know me or just may be someone who is going to say the opposite just to try and hurt me for making a decision they don't agree with. I hate it, but I don't know what else to do. I pray this person loses what seems to be a very hateful heart toward me, but I just may have to say, "I tried my best" and let it go.
Subject Four: For someone who enjoys being with other people, I sure seem to have a knack at putting on the breaks when it comes to meeting certain new people. I asked a friend the other day, "What is wrong with me? Why am I doing this?" and he said, "I don't know what's wrong with you...get it together." Typical male response.
Subject Five: I don't think I'm ever going to get it through my head that Rosie is not mine to keep and I'm going to have to give her to her furever home. Folks...this may actually be the straw that breaks the camel's back.
Prepare for a meltdown....
No comments:
Post a Comment