I had no idea the design had changed. In fact, when I turned it over and saw a back I'd never seen before, I thought...hmmmmm...this looks like a U.S. penny. And though I never thought I'd say this about a penny, it's pretty.
Could be I think it's pretty because of my mindset when I found it. I needed something, an omen or a sign, to help boost my perspective and am thinking this penny might have been it. At least that's what I'm choosing to believe. Sometimes you just have to choose to believe.
I looked in the mirror this week and thought, "Sister...you are lookin' t-i-r-e-d." Yes, I've been working full-time out of the house this week and while that is partly because of it, it's not the only reason. I believe I can change this.
The biggest reason is that I haven't been taking care of myself. Mentally or physically. So, while in mental conversation with myself, I said, "No one, and I mean NO ONE, is going to take care of you but you. What are you thinking? You are a much stronger person than this. You know what you need to do." Obviously, there are people in this world who love me. But I gotta take care of me.
Why aren't I putting myself up there? Don't I deserve it? Don't I want my kids to do it for themselves when they are adults? Then shouldn't I be an example? The more I thought about it, the more aggravated I got with myself. Not a very respectful place to be.
Now...clarification: this doesn't mean I want to neglect others. That's ridiculous and selfish. I have a family. I know some people out there choose not to have kids because of all that comes with them ... responsibilities, homework, sports practices, playdates, doctor's appointments, i.e. less time for ME. Ludicrous. No, I'm here for them and that responsibility isn't a negative at all for me nor one I, in any way, wish to shun. I'm eternally grateful for it, actually. What it does mean is I need to be more thoughtful about me and what I need to do for me AND in turn, them.
I watch friends going through things right now you could not pay me a million dollars to experience and I think to myself, "I need to be more thankful for my life. Yes...my life, as stressful as it may be to me." Because I'm not guaranteed a tomorrow. My friends didn't choose the path they are on but they do choose the path of response in which they travel. They believe their attitude determines their future. They could sit and mope about the path they are on but they don't. Not even close to it. They are strong and I admire that. They choose to be strong, even when it's extremely difficult and they choose to take the path that is best for them and their families.
So yes, this penny I made the choice to pick up [that of course I believe fate put in front of me for reflection :-) ] also made me think of my mom who passed away 26 years ago yesterday. I thought of her all day yesterday. I don't know why the penny brought her to mind again, but it did.
Maybe I found it because it's a sign of good things to come when you least anticipate it. Maybe it's a sign of something beautiful to be found in something unexpected. Maybe my mom just wanted me to see the new penny design...nahhhh.
I know the reason why I'm choosing to believe I found it and that's all that matters.
So, to quote Demonsthenes (dubbed the greatest orator of Greece, thank you very much):
Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.
I'll take that. Makes sense...no?
Makes sense, yes.
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