He had both extreme joy and pain on his face when they reached down to hug what used to be a larger-than-life man whose body has reluctantly withered away due to this devastating disease he is fighting. Yes...fighting, in the present tense. He just is not ready to go.
He's only 70, so I can understand why he isn't ready. He is full of life, in his heart, so I empathize why he isn't ready. And, on his "good" days, his brain is present-day. But those days are coming fewer and farther between the days where the disease has set up camp in his brain and refuses to let him remember even which cord to pull to call the nurses or what city he is in.
Doug and I were talking the other day about things that "start and end" and D said the human soul was the only thing he could think of that starts from a true beginning and then doesn't end
. I argued, well that's not true...it starts in heaven and ends in heaven...like a circle. I likened it to rain. It may start from the clouds or evaporate from a lake, but it's an endless circle. He said, yes he understood that, but the actual creation of it and that it's the only thing that has no ending. Our souls are eternal. Only God can do that. Once our bodies quit, our souls go on forever. Okay...good point. I concede...Doug was right. :-).So many things in life start off at one point and then come back around full circle. Our parents' advice...ughhhh. How many times did your parents tell you something when you were young and you'd roll your eyes because you were so far beyond their words of wisdom. And now, you look in the rearview mirror thinking, "Wow...I can think of so many parts of my life that would've been so much easier had I taken that advice." Of course, I say "you" because I always listed to my parents...ha! I wish. Nope, this hard-headed person still seems to learn some things after being hit on the head with the hammer of God.
Yes, some things can only be learned from experience. AKA...the hard way. These are the times we step back and watch our kids do something we know is a mistake, but can only be learned when they actually make the mistake. Sometimes it's tough to do. Othertimes...God takes care of the lesson for us. Poor Belle has suffered from what we like to call "instant discipline from God" a couple times this past week!
Once she was making a face at Ben and being a real stinker, then flipped her head around in delight that she had gotten to him (again)...only to be met in the forehead with a door. Bruise number one. Then last night she ran by him on the stone walk at the lake and hit him on purpose (acting, of course, like it was an accident...but mom saw it) then slipped and fell. Ouch. Bruise number two. Yep, Ben called it "Karma with a capital K!". What goes around, comes around...there's that circle again.
Of course I can't leave out the biggest circle of all...Love. Awwwwe. You knew I'd go there. Yep...true love never dies. Our brains may lose perspective or get lost from time-to-time, but our hearts always know the way home and help us re-evaluate what is important and put it right back where it belongs. It doesn't mean our interests change or our likes/dislikes change...that's just part of growing. But our core values remain and love makes them stronger. If you have true love with someone, put it front and center in your life and don't let anything knock it out of perspective. Don't be disheartened if you falter...we all do. Hello? That's why we called human. Just know love will bring it back around and work to make sure it does.
We have noticed and spotted so many "circles" lately and I can't think of all of them. I wish I could. So many times lately, we've looked at each other and said, "That's another circle."
What I do know is I want the circles in my life to be full. Full of life. Full of laughs. Full of memories...the good and the bad. Full of experiences. Full of faith. Full of knowledge. Full of love. They don't have to be huge circles, just full. There are plenty of small circles out there that are perfectly full. I'm trying to concentrate on the things that lie within my circles of life and make them the best and fullest possible.
Yes, some things can only be learned from experience. AKA...the hard way. These are the times we step back and watch our kids do something we know is a mistake, but can only be learned when they actually make the mistake. Sometimes it's tough to do. Othertimes...God takes care of the lesson for us. Poor Belle has suffered from what we like to call "instant discipline from God" a couple times this past week!
Once she was making a face at Ben and being a real stinker, then flipped her head around in delight that she had gotten to him (again)...only to be met in the forehead with a door. Bruise number one. Then last night she ran by him on the stone walk at the lake and hit him on purpose (acting, of course, like it was an accident...but mom saw it) then slipped and fell. Ouch. Bruise number two. Yep, Ben called it "Karma with a capital K!". What goes around, comes around...there's that circle again.
Of course I can't leave out the biggest circle of all...Love. Awwwwe. You knew I'd go there. Yep...true love never dies. Our brains may lose perspective or get lost from time-to-time, but our hearts always know the way home and help us re-evaluate what is important and put it right back where it belongs. It doesn't mean our interests change or our likes/dislikes change...that's just part of growing. But our core values remain and love makes them stronger. If you have true love with someone, put it front and center in your life and don't let anything knock it out of perspective. Don't be disheartened if you falter...we all do. Hello? That's why we called human. Just know love will bring it back around and work to make sure it does.
We have noticed and spotted so many "circles" lately and I can't think of all of them. I wish I could. So many times lately, we've looked at each other and said, "That's another circle."
What I do know is I want the circles in my life to be full. Full of life. Full of laughs. Full of memories...the good and the bad. Full of experiences. Full of faith. Full of knowledge. Full of love. They don't have to be huge circles, just full. There are plenty of small circles out there that are perfectly full. I'm trying to concentrate on the things that lie within my circles of life and make them the best and fullest possible.
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