It inconspicuously happened somewhere between home and the school.
There was no warning. No red flags. Nothing telling me a monumental shift in my world was just about to occur.
I pulled into the parking lot of Ben's new school for his 7th grade orientation, looking around for a parking space. As luck would have it, one immediately opened up right out front.
I put the car in park and got the first hint.
Only a handful of parents were walking into the school and I paused before I turned off the car.
"You know what, Ben? It doesn't look like many parents are going in so that tells me my checkbook probably isn't going to be needed," I told him.
"Yeah. I don't know exactly what we're going to be doing. Probably a tour or something," he answered.
I slowly turn off the car and start to open the door, but something held me back. I didn't want to be 'that mom' who was basically spitting on my hand and smoothing his hair down in front of everyone saying, "There now..don't you look spiffy you little whipper-snapper?!" Then follow it up by tucking his shirt in for him.
No...instead, I took the route of less humiliation for my son.
"Ben, you have your phone so if I actually do need to come in to write a check for something or whatever, you can call me. Or you can walk in and I'll follow behind and ask someone inside."
He opens the door, shuts it behind him and
as he's walking off says, "It's okay mom. I got it. Or you can walk behind me if you want but I'm going in."
Gone. Trail of dust following him.
Okay. Guess that answers that question. And in all honesty, we didn't receive the notice about "Dog Pound" as they call it so I really had NO idea what the agenda was. It was only by pure luck we found out the night before thanks to one of Ben's friends talking to him about it. I feel the need to defend myself right about now because I really did want him to go by himself, I just didn't know if I needed to write a check, sign something, whatever!
Then tonight the remainder of the shift took place.
We are walking in Target and the kid who always used to not just walk right beside me, but would put his arm around me or hug me turned on me like a wild pig who just got his foot trapped in a metal clamp.
Okay maybe not that drastic, but it felt like it at the time.
We were walking toward the check-out stands and I reached over to just put my arm around him...not forever, but it's habit, people!...and he literally squirmed out of it and said, "Ohhh...that's okay mom."
I'm sorry, what?
Then because he is a kind-hearted guy, spent the next 5 minutes apologizing if he hurt my feelings.
I assured him he didn't. That it was bound to happen and he's growing up. But asked if next time could he just not pull away so quickly as I think I got a fabric burn on the tips of my fingers.
"It doesn't mean I love you any less, mom. I promise. You know that, right? And it doesn't mean I'm not going to hug you anymore. Here...see?" And he proved his words by he putting his arm around me for an entire 2 seconds.
Are you kidding me right now?
"That's fine, Ben. To be honest, I don't want you to hug me anyway because as you get older you've started to smell like a day old taco!" And he just laughed.
I'm sorry, but it's true. When boys get older and make the unfortunate mistake of forgetting that morning deodorant, they smell like Mexican food. But not in a good way.
"Here mom. I'll hug you," Shelby chimed in.
"Oh please, Shelby. It's not the same," he said.
And knowing she will start the same retraction from public displays of affection with her ole' mom soon enough, I told her, "I'll take whatever I can get so bring it on, Belle!"
Always remember and never forget: They grow up way, way, way to fast. Take in every second of every memory...big and small...while you can.
