Times and Tides

Once again, a story from the lake. Is this how it's going to be this summer? Who knew so many lessons and stories could come from a day at the lake? Not me. But, I'm open to learning ... goodness knows.

Obviously, we find learning to be "easier" when we are young. Proof positive...my kids. I am loving living life watching it through their eyes. Experiencing things for the "first" time as they experience them. Watching their reaction and relishing in the moment.

I'm not trying to make this deeper than it needs to be. Life is just touching me differently these days and I'm trying to take it all in and remember it. Sometimes I look at things that happen, songs I hear, whatever as a "sign" or "fate", as I'm known to say. Lots of pictures are being taken, both mental and physical - even when I forget my camera and have to rely on my phone. Bad photos happen this way. But, at least I got them.

Another weekend of "firsts" and good times with family and friends...

Belle's first time to tube on the lake! Is this child scared of anything? If so, we just haven't found it yet. I was...and I'll say it...terrified to let her hang onto a big round floatation device while being pulled by only a rope behind a boat on a huge body of water that I cannot see into. Oh no problem. My friends, whose children have been doing this since they were three years of age...what?...sweetly encouraged me telling me she was more than ready. LT said, "Mom, you need to let her do this. Let her go." Let go? She just turned six. She's my baby. She's my very strong-willed, life-loving, energetic, experience-new-things, let's-go-faster daddy, baby. Time for me to step back and let her experience this. Here goes...

Of course, she had the best time ever. She quickly picked up the hand signals for "faster", "slow down", "stop" and "jump the waves". Her most-used hand signal you ask? The thumbs-up sign...faster.

Promise me, Belle that you will know when it's time to slow down and soak up those moments of life you don't want to forget. Don't speed fast-forward through everything. It's okay to coast sometimes and just enjoy the scenery. You've got time. There's no need to rush. Sorry...didn't mean to get deep.

And Ben...yes he tubed too (far right in the photo), but he did something else even more spectacular, at least to me. He went on a sunset cruise around the lake with just Daddy and got to drive the boat for the first time. My little man. When he came back, he wasn't jumping up and down like he was after tubing. He quietly came up to me and said, "Dad let me drive." gulp. Not that him actually taking the wheel was so dramatic since D was right there directing him, but that it was monumental to him is what I cherished about it. And it was. He saw it as something serious and I love that.

He's already starting to take the wheel in so many aspects of his life. When Daddy travels, he does things around the house he normally doesn't do because he is the "man of the house" when Daddy isn't here. He acts different. He acts older. In these moments I'm thankful for such a mature son, but don't want him to grow up too fast. He deserves to be a kid with no worries, or at least as very few as any kid should ever have. I want that for both of them. As parents, it's my firm belief to allow them to be kids as much as possible. We often hide the "scary" stuff from them so they are able to do just this. We make sure they are safe, physically and psychologically while all the while...releasing them just enough at just the right time for new experiences. We are supposed to show them the right way to take chances and learn. Grow. Develop. Have fun. It's delicate business.

Speaking of fun though...He also swam out to a barge in the lake with all the "big kids" and had a great time playing their self-invented, lake version of "king of the mountain". It was time for me to let go once again yesterday as I watched him swim out there, knowing he would have a great time even though it was out of my comfort zone. I'm sorry but it was far away! ...said the nervous mom. :-) I just sat and watched my two kids run in the tide, swim in it and have a ball.

I felt so nervous watching them do these things. I felt like I was taking a huge chance letting her on the back of that tube. I hadn't even asked D if he was ready for her to do it yet. Knowing him as I do though, he was in my head saying, "Of course she should go. Let her go, T." And, when I did tell him, he simply replied, "And she had a great time, didn't she?". Yesssss...she did.

I felt like I took a big chance even letting Ben on the back of the tube and then again when he swam to the barge. "Time to let him go. Let him experience it fully. You're here watching in case he needs you," said the little voice. Sometimes that voice is so hard to hear.

They both had chances yesterday to grow and so did I...in letting them take theirs. Chances present us with opportunities. Which chances we chose to take sometimes require a lot of thought. After all, not all chances are opportunities. And then others we just jump right into. Remarkably, sometimes we jump into the ones that we otherwise thought required great thought but were just sitting there waiting to be revealed! Just ask Ben as his dad literally pulled him into the lake last weekend off the Sea Doo. He knew Ben was thinking too much about it and needed help just making the decision. Sometimes jumping in is the only way to get it done. It's one sure way to find out about the chance!

When given a chance...especially another chance...we should see fit to make the most out of it. Sometimes it's hard to take chances. Equally difficult is to decide to give chances. Both require stepping out of our comfort zone. Both deliver new opportunities for growth. Some chances may not well-deserved, but you never know until you decide to let go of whatever is holding you back from stepping out. It's simple really. Kind of an "on your mark, get set...go!" thing.

I seem to be taking lots of chances these days and it's very scary...and invigorating, all at the same time. Life invites change. Life invites "chances"...good and bad. I'm trying to make the most of my chances. I'm putting it all out there and trying to do it right and be an example for my kids. I don't want to pass on my fears about life and taking certain chances to them. They need to make those decisions on their own. Yes, I'll teach them to be weary of the "important" things (snake holes for example! Yuck!), but sometimes...sometimes... the best way to learn about chances is to take them. Or at least that's what I'm experiencing.

Of course, I must leave this with a song ("Time and Tide" by Basia) I first heard a long time ago with someone who I took a chance on loving and am happy to say I still do. Every time I hear it - it takes me back. Enjoy...

Leaps of Faith

I was so proud of my kiddos yesterday at the lake. We went to spend Memorial Day with D's dad. Since he lives on the lake - we obviously have to spend some time outside playing. Or, at least D and the kids did. Somehow mom forgot to pack her swimsuit.

Regardless, the kids got to get on the jet skis with D and they always love doing that. What was a little different this time was Belle itching to get in the lake. Not just on it. After her romp through it last weekend at our friend's lake house where there was a man-made beach, she discovered complete joy in a body of water that large and was obviously wanting more.

So, as they got ready to leave the dock, she announced she wanted to jump in the lake to which D replied, "Tell you what...after we ride around a bit we'll both jump in the lake." This put a huge grin on her face, but I wondered inside if she would really take that leap off the jet ski into the lake. Neither of them were raised on the lake. The biggest body of water they've been around is a pool. So add that to the fact the lake water isn't clear like a pool and you have to rely on your faith that all will be well.

As I saw them stop, I watched carefully to see if she would really do it. Of course, after her daddy jumped - she followed suit quickly. My heart completely filled with both happiness, because I knew she would be thrilled with her new adventure; and love, because I knew it took her having faith in someone else telling her it would be "okay" in order for her to do it. Oh the freedom that comes with unbridled faith.

Ben was a little more nervous, as is Ben's way. He's the cautious one. Always has been. In fact, he is the one to error on the side of caution. His nerves were centered on what was out of eyesight under the lake. I reassured him that he in no way had to do what Shelby had done, but could tell he really wanted to get past his nerves and take that leap. I told him that no matter if he did or didn't, we had a great time at the lake this weekend and he could leave knowing that. However, I also told him that I knew he really wanted to jump in and I thought he would be very proud of himself if he trusted his daddy and just did it. "You know, daddy and I would never let you do something we thought could cause you any harm," I added. He agreed. And, when it was his turn...he chose to put his faith in his daddy and jumped. And loved it. I could hear him laughing from the dock.

When we are young, we find it so much easier to open up our hearts and trust. We have clear, uncomplicated faith. Maybe because we haven't really been hurt deeply yet or is it because it's just easier to believe similar to the way kids believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny? Dad and Mom said they exist, so they must! Either way, it's something I wish we had more of as adults. That chosen ability to put yourself out there and totally trust the one you love when they say, "I'm going to take care of you. I promise, it's okay."

Only when we put ourselves out there 100% are we able to reap the full rewards. Only when we make ourselves vulnerable are we able to enjoy the complete return of love. If either one of my kids had only put their feet in the water versus totally jumping in, the experience wouldn't have been the same. Not even close. They wouldn't have enjoyed the full pleasure, only part of it. And they would probably have walked away at the end of the day wishing they had made a different choice. It's that way with faith. Until you put your complete faith in someone, you won't fully appreciate the immense love your heart was meant to feel.

As adults, due to the baggage our hearts carry around from past hurts and pains, our pathway to that leap is blocked. We have to actually work at removing those obstacles because we want to be able to enjoy that leap in all its glory. Patience, consistency, tenderness, love, kindness...all things we must draw on in order to move what ever is in our way.

Everyone is at different levels, but this is my experience. For me, I want my heart to be fully submerged in my life. I want my kids to live that way, too. I've recognized it's the only way to completely fill your hear up. God promises us a "new heart" and if you ask him in...he waits at your heart's door knocking. But, you have to let Him in. Just inviting Him isn't enough. You actually have to open the door to your heart and go through the process of letting Him in. For some it's easier. I know for me it's been a process, but I allowed myself to be vulnerable in every aspect and made the conscious choice to let Him and others in and have the faith it will all be okay.

You may ask, "How do you make that kind of choice? Don't you have to get a feeling that all will be okay before you chose?" My answer was no. The feeling came after I made the choice. It would have been so much easier the other way, I know, but that wouldn't have required faith, now would it? I chose to to believe. I chose to know it would be okay. I chose faith. And I haven't looked back.

In return, I have the pleasure of experiencing love the way my heart was meant to experience it. I have made that leap and jumped into my life.

We can't live our lives looking back. If you are constantly turning around you will miss things that lie in front of you. Just think if you were driving down the highway, but kept turning around looking to see where you'd already been. You'd be missing what is right outside your window looking you in the face. You would inevitably miss something and it could be the one thing you were looking to find. But, since you were turned around looking at "the past"...you may have let something beautiful go by unnoticed. Plus, if you don't really care for what you've already seen on the trip...know that a new road lies right in front of you. But guess what...you have to go by faith's roadmap that the new road is a better one.

I hope my kids are able to get past the baggage that is sure to come in their life with more grace than I've been able to do. I'm going to try my hardest to help them navigate through those waters are life will no doubt get more complicated as they grow up.

How will you choose to lead your life? Will you take the leap and experience it completely or dangle your feet in the water of your life and walk away with a only a percentage?

I'll be the one doing a cannonball in the deep end.

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

Without a doubt, baseball is one of my favorite sports. My 9 year-old son has played ever since Kindergarten and we have so much fun at the games. We were lucky enough to get on a team with a fantastic group of parents. Everyone is very supportive of each other and not at all harsh when the kiddos make errors. And, believe me, it happens every game! They are still learning so much.

We have second, third and fourth graders on our team, so it's a broad range of talent and thanks to our great coaches, the kids work as a team. They win as a team and they lose as a team. It is never the responsibility of one player to win and never the fault of one player when we lose. They have always been very clear on this.

It is through sports I learned to work with others and be a graceful winner and loser. Both are equally important in life. My son is learning it and I'm grateful to his coaches for putting the emphasis on attitude.

I hope he always likes to play a sport, even if it's an individual sport (i.e. golf, tennis, track, etc...) versus a team atmosphere.

Going to the games has become somewhat of a social event in our life and while some may think "how boring" - they don't know our crew! I enjoy hanging out with these people who are made up of the same fabric as us. They are good people and have come to be our extended family. We look out for each other and each other's kids as they run amuck around the baseball fields we travel to.

So, for me, these games are times I enjoy spending with good friends. Catching up. Laughing. Supporting each other. And just hanging out. More importantly, I have enjoyed watching my son learn about a great game, working with others, supporting friends and being outdoors getting exercise!

He got the Game Ball last night for scoring the winning run. Did it matter to us that a walk caused him to cross the plate? Absolutely not! That kid was beyond thrilled it was his foot that got to touch home plate and put the winning run in the books.

The single most important thing kids should get out of sports is self-esteem. So all you parents and coaches out there screaming at the kids at the top of your lungs...cut it out! Seriously, we played a team the other night whose coach yelled at the batter to "Relax! And hit it!" Ummmm...did you just hear yourself? The "relax" part of the sentence came out as if he were yelling at him to get out of the way of a speeding bus!

Don't get me wrong...we do our share of "yelling" to our kids, but not in a tone that makes it sound like we are going to leave them at the ballpark if they don't play perfect.

Hug your kid after each game and tell them, "Great job." And try to include the word "fun" in there somewhere about the game! Too many kids are so hard on themselves when they don't play as well as they hoped and then here come the parents chiming in that they could have done better. Hello? It's our job to build them up.

And I say this to remind myself to do it, too.

My Loyal Friend

Friend...as defined by Websters is: "one attached to another by affection or esteem."

Many of us are lucky enough to find a handful of people in our lifetime who we can truly call a "friend". They do and say things to lift us up, not break us down. They are our shoulders to lean on, not the foot that kicks us when we are already low. They call out the best in us versus pointing out our faults. They are the first to tell us "great job!" instead of the unsolicited "this is what you really should have done."

Yes, our friends are there to hold us accountable, when we need it. And sometimes this is a fine line. But a true friend knows when we need our feet held to the fire and when to keep judgements to themselves and silently "agree to disagree".

I have many friends like this, but only one is consistently there for me in all of these positive roles.

Ladies and Gentlemen...MEET DUKE.

Go ahead. Laugh. But this dog always makes me smile. I swear it's his goal in life to make me happy. If I'm upset, he is the first one there giving me a sweet look that makes the clouds go away. All he wants in return is some food, a little scratchin' and a place to sleep. All of which he gets in abundance. He is always happy to see me and greets me with a smile. (Yes...he smiles). He gives me unconditional love and I do the same with him. He never, ever judges me and he is always there for support. What more could you want in a friend?

Gotta love true friends. I love mine.