CHOICES ON THE MONKEY BARS

I often get to carpool early enough to park and catch sight of some classes still enjoying their time on the playground at recess. It never fails as I watch them to think, "I remember running at full speed for no reason at all. Wish I had the energy to do that now!"

They're playing freeze tag. Kickball. Doing cartwheels in the grass. Some are just sitting off to the side talking. I can only imagine those conversations.

Yesterday, a young girl hanging on the monkey bars caught my attention. She stopped right in the middle and kept shaking her head. Her friends below continued to urge her on. "You can do it! You're almost there!" Apparently, as afraid as she was to continue to go forward, she was equally (if not more) terrified to let go.

How many times do we find ourselves in this predicament in life? "I don't want to risk going in the direction I've been going, but letting go is unthinkable."

Ultimately, we have to make the choice. Either we are forced to pick a path or we release ourselves with the power to chose it for ourselves. Either way can be scary. But it can also be invigorating and exciting to do something new.

I have found myself at a pretty big crossroad and it's been swirling around in my brain for a couple months. The choice has become increasingly clear, especially during prayer the other night. I keep praying and asking for His help with one thing: A positive change. I don't get specific about it, frankly because He knows more than I do what will propel the change I need. I know without a doubt I need (NEED) more income. I know I need to stop people in my life from affecting my sense of self (my fault, not theirs).

So the other night as I was pleading with Him and asking why He isn't helping me, I got my answer.

He told me He has been trying to help me for a long time...even longer than I've been asking, but I've got to let go of what is holding me back. I have got to let go of things and people who I am allowing to stop me from turning onto the path I need to be walking on right now.

Again, I take sole responsibility for how these external influences affect me. I'm just now willing to take accountability of how they will in the future.

I don't know how it will turn out, but I know I'm in desperate need of my feet being firmly on the ground.

So I'm choosing to let go. Just like the little girl did on the playground.

Always remember and never forget: Sometimes when you release your grip, you're able to grab something more meaningful.

FOREVER A FAVORITE

For many reasons, this hymn will always be not only a favorite of mine, but somewhat of a touchstone during this ever-changing ride of life. It is a reminder of exactly Who is a constant. If you're looking for Him to give you a sign to show you everything is going just as it should, you've missed the point. And believe hard-headed-me, I miss the point all, too often.

It is by faith we 'see' His message and know He has outlined and prepared our path. Of this I'm certain.

Because a couple years ago I couldn't imagine how I would go on and today...I can't imagine how I will fail. Bumps, detours and downright standstills in this road I travel don't have near the effect they used to have on me.

So thankful for my precious friends, both new and old, He continues to put on my path who often act like bumper guards in a blindfolded bowling match I'm trying to win!

 

 

IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL
by Horatio G. Spafford, 1873

 

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

 

JUST A LITTLE CHANGE

So in the spirit of becoming more minimalist, I decided I no longer wanted to pay for a custom domain since I can still have a blog...for free.

I'm in the middle (okay beginning) of changing the name, creating a new design and most importantly...registering the new :::free::: domain name.

I've been greatly inspired by some writings lately. One in particular that come from one of my favorite quotes and one of my favorite authors.

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life:
it goes on.
~Robert Frost

 

 

 

We (me) tend to get caught up on all the things that haven't gone right. Translation: that haven't gone as we predicted, prepared or expected. When truth be told...He has us (again...me) right where He wants us. This isn't the end of our story.

 

Past disappointments or even pains creep into our own definition of ourselves much like grass grows in our backyards. It happens right before our eyes. We water it. Fertilize it. Sometimes we even pick out the weeds that impede its turf. But we never actually see the growth happen. One day, you look out your kitchen window and realize...damn, it's a little unruly out there. I better mow.

When I look at my kids...when I look at how some adults live their lives...at overall choices we all make...it makes me more aware. More aware of what we are fertilizing our lives with...our kids lives...our friends and family.
 

We all know everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has their own hurt. Their own pains. Their own story. Sometimes we just get a little too caught up in our own stuff to realize our lives are pretty damn good.

 

I've been blessed incredibly. Likewise, I've been disappointed and I know I've created disappointments. Who hasn't? You can only dwell on them for so long before it starts eating you up. So we let go of what doesn't work and move on. You can't trip over things you've left behind.

 

It's time to refocus.

 

Someone said to me recently that one of his favorite things was "the 2.3 seconds of static when you put the needle down on a record before the music starts...you know, the sound of anticipation". I don't know exactly why, but something about that statement made my jaw drop.

 

Yes. Yes, I know that feeling. What a great thing to pay attention to. Something so little, but it made me think of the little things and what else I'm missing because I'm so 'busy' with all the things on my daily "To Do" list.

 

It won't be easy, but He never promised easy. He did say it would be worth it though.

 

So I'm letting go of "new kind of normal". After all, nothing is normal! I know I'm not...thankfully.

 

Listen...I hear the static...

BECAUSE WHEN YOU'RE 10...ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE

When life throws you curveballs...when people try to distract you from the course you're trying to stay on...when you beat yourself up for not working out even ONCE last week after you've been doing so good...

Your 10 year old, full of life and hope daughter comes into the room and says this:

When I grow up, I want to be a painter in Paris. Or maybe a surfer. Ooooh or a dolphin trainer or a unicorn breeder. Maybe a leprechaun feeder. Alongside that I'll open a spa for eagles and do their talons. Then invent an animal. A bear/puppy...a buppy. Or be a DJ or an 90s singer. That would be fun. I'd also be a great comedienne. Also a clown dentist because clowns need dentists too...

At this point I simply had to tell her to stop. As you can imagine, I couldn't hear anymore because my laughing was drowning out all the rest. 

God I love these kids!!!